Im a 17 year old girl in physical and mental pain

[Sick_Girl_In_Pain]

I'm in so much pain. It's like Satan placed his hairy *** cheeks on my life. Last August of 2015 I stopped taking Abilify, after taking it for a year because it caused me to shake a lot, and I was worried about getting tardive dyskinesia. Also, last year I've been working hard animating and drawing daily, because i want to be an animator. And in summer 2015 I was accepted to animation programs at art college last summer, and animation was my life, so shaking hands is something I definitely didn't want. Because it was effecting my art. But when I stopped Abilify, hell broke loose. I got so sick with sinus infections, strep throat, kidney infections, bladder infections, UTI, headaches, and the flu. And that lasted until November, and I took lots of antibiotics. but that was just the beginning of hell. On my birthday, I had dinner with my family, I had a sandwich with a tiny bit of hot sauce (before this, I used to handle hot sauce just fine), and my stomach and kidneys were in unbearable pain. It was so bad I had a panic attack and I fainted in my moms car, and my mom freaked the hell out, and my sister started crying, and my mom gave me CPR and called an ambulance. I woke up and told the doctors that I had a panic attack. But I thought the panic attack was caused by stress or something, because Im stressed every day, and my dad gets mad over everything, and I get mad over little things too, so that's a quality I hate having.. But then I continued to have stomach pain. And every doctor I went to said its just anxiety. But then in February i saw a gastroenterologist and had an endoscopy done, and the doc said I have a hiatal hernia, gastroparesis, gastritis, acid reflux, and esophageal ulcers. So now I take famotidine (Pepcid) acid reducer). And i don't have stomach pain anymore but it's hard to breathe. And I heard that antacids can cause dementia and ****, so that's probably why my mental thinking and memory has been **** lately. My diaphragm feels weak and Its hard to even laugh or talk. I also have brain fog and I feel like a zombie. I've also had headaches and I got my wisdom teeth out so the brain fog is worse. I'm going to physical therapy, cause I have scoliosis and neck pain and jaw pain. I feel like my face is a mask and I can't ******* smile or express emotions anymore. I'm so apathetic and I can't like anything. In march I started taking antidepressants again, I took Wellbutrin for a month but that didn't help at all. I feel like I can barely see anything and I feel like my sinuses are still messed up even though the doc said my sinuses are normal.....I honestly feel that all of this **** is caused by stress or something. I'm trying to get as much help as I possibly can, I go to so many doctors but I never feel better. I want to take antidepressants again because hopefully that will reduce my stress and reduce my pain. Abilify worked for stress, but it still had mental side effects, such as stuttering, and not thinking or understanding clearly, social anxiety, weight gain, and I cried all the time and I only liked sad things. And Abilify made me have limited interests. What kept me on abilify, was the increased interest for the limited interests that Abilify made me had. I've always loved animation, but Abilify increased that, and I was obsessed with animation. I felt like this was helpful in motivating me to animate. But I want to be a normal person. Or at least better. I want an antidepressant that will help me to like more things, because I am very apathetic right now, with no purpose, other than to get better from all of my problems. I used to love movies but now I hate all movies. I'm unable to like anything. Or feel any emotions other than stress. Are there any antidepressants similar to Abilify? But won't cause weight gain or shaky hands. Sorry for whining and complaining. Please help

[Ellabell_Blue_52]

A lot of your symptoms could be from anxiety. I agree with what Paxiled says. You should see a psychiatrist who has good medication management expertise. Some of the antidepressants also help with anxiety. Or there are medications beside Abilify. Also were you tested for Helocbactor bacteria?  It can cause ulcers and other gastrointestinal problems.  
You are young and i think with the right medications and maybe therapy too you will be able to feel much better.

[Paxiled]

First, Abilify is approved as a last-resort antidepressant for those who other antidepressants didn't help.  It's main use these days is as an adjunct to other antidepressants.  So was this the first antidepressant you were put on, and by whom, a regular doc or a psychiatrist?  And did you ever try therapy before trying medication?  As for your physical ailments, did you quit Abilify abruptly, or did you slowly taper off?  And have you ever had someone look at your diet to see if you've become sensitive or intolerant to something you're eating -- it sounds like you have a digestive problem that has caused inflammation, and suppressive drugs might make you feel better but won't solve the problem.  And all those antibiotics have undoubtedly mess up your beneficial organisms that regulate both digestion and mental health, so you have to work on getting that back in shape.  You're very young, so you have a lot of resilience you've not aware of yet but it's there, but I'm not sure whoever put you on Abilify did you any favors.  So don't quit trying to find answers -- and make sure you see the appropriate people to help you solve them.

[despairAngel]

I don't have what you have so I can't relate but all I can say is if you are alive then you are a brave souls and know that god is watching over you and trust me you are loved and the best way to get rid of the pain is to have fun with yur loved because well will all be gone and if you are in pain then forget about and enjoy yourself because I lost my chance and I am a husk of what I used to be