Doctors won't help with my depression in the UK

[ryan8978]

So…. For just over a year I have been feeling really depressed. I’ve not been showing it though, I’m a 19 year old bisexual boy from conservative region of the UK who has can not show signs of what is considered a “girls” problem. Thus I have no outlet, can’t talk to family or friends and am becoming further depressed the more hide my problems.  Basically there are several reasons why I am feeling so low.

So here they are in no particular order:

-  I found my birth dad last year for the first time, 4 months later he is accused of rape. I haven’t spoken to him since, and the girl who has accused him is a friend of a friend, luckily not knowing who I am.

- I am being harassed, as I work for a bar, there are some banned people who have become violent and decided to take it up with me in public when I’m not working. Its very hard to avoid them unless I become a social recluse, I do fight back but I shouldn’t have too!

- I’m a bisexual, no one knows, I don’t act camp at all, and know 20% of my friends are very homophobic so don’t want to come out incase I lose my friends.

- I got tricked by a fake financial company and now owe £1500 to be paid in 10 days, however have just left my job ( for above reasons) to find another and can’t find another soon enough.

I plucked up the courage to go see my doctor, and she prescribed me some beta-blockers, and referred me to a psychologist , to get stuff off my chest etc as I don’t want to take anti-depressants. I have just received a letter from the NHS (National Health Service) telling me there is no need to speak to anyone and they have turned down the request, saying I should speak to the police about the harassment and debt advisers about the money problems.  This really doesn’t help though, and its quit open and out there that many institutions around here including the health service and police are homophobic.

Is this the case do you think? Or are they right? Any doctors or in the know people our there who could shed some light on this please.

[Emmyjay]

hi there! how are you feeling today? nobody had asked you that?

if you do feel down and not being able to be yourself then maybe there is something wrong, having to repress your feeling because of other peoples reactions is not right, and it maybe having some implication in causing you to feel so down and upset about it.

for the 20% of your friends having an issue with you being bisexual, you must ask yourslef are they true friends? true friend would except you in anyway shape or form. as for not telling your parents, they will love you no matter what, it maybe hard for them at first, but if they see your happy surely it wont matter to them? maybe it would though i know some parents, esp. fathers can be set in thier ways, but if its going to make you be able to be who you  are then id tell them, its your life, your choice, and youshouldnt spend you life trying to impress others just to make them happy, what about making you happy? thats the imprtant thing.

my parents never understood me, but i have made my own family now, and my grandparents still care about me very much and are always there, if your dont get on with your parents after you break the news, you'll be surprised who maybe there for you.

obv. none of this is a medical opinion, just mine, you may find it totally wrong. but if your not able to be yourself, who are you going to be?

i hope you sort things out, im always here to chat.

Emma

[lonewolf07]

Hi

I'm sure I responded to your question but it looks like it was deleted.

How would NHS know you were bi?  Why would it matter if you were bi?

Yes, I do think there is homophobia in the health care system as well as racism, sexism and all the other "isms".  However, I think the advice and comments made by Hen and xan are good.  You might have to shop around for a therapist but it'll be worth it.

lonewolf

[xanweaner]

I just wanted to reconfirm Hensley's post. He gave you some excellent advice.

It would help you tremendously if you were able to see a therapist to discuss this. You have a lot of issues on your plate, and it's quite natural to feel overwhelmed in your situation.

Taking a pill will not fix the situation, but talking about it in an environment that is safe will help give you the strength to deal with it more effectively.
And, I'm so sorry to read about your problems, too...

Good luck...

[Hensley258]

You must understand that Depressive dissorder is a disease, not a situation.

There is a huge difference between suffering from a clinical depression and being down because you have had some recient finacial and relationship issues.

When you contacted mental health regarding your need to see a Psychiatrist, did they make sure to ask you alot of questions concerning your symptoms?

There is a list of about 12 specific symptoms that can indicate a serious mental depression. Are you suffering from these symptoms?

It really sounds like a lot of this problem your having is situational. If it is situational than most likly just seeing a Therapist on a regular basis should help a lot.

As for taking medication.... Unless your symptoms of depression are to a point where you simply can not function, then I would suggest first trying therapy to talk thru some of the life issues your having now.