Okay I am sorry if this is going to be a bit long but I just have nothing to lose. I have been going through depression since September and according to me it's just not getting better. I saw a psychiatrist who wants to give me mood stabilizers but does not want to give me antidepressant. He has his own personal opinion about them and according to him sometimes they just do not work. He recommended me seeing another psychiatrist because I have some Border Line personality disorder. Well I saw that other doctor and he says that yes I do have some features but since I do not take drugs, do not drink alcohol and do not suddenly explode and many other reasons he says that I am not really diagnosed with BP. He also said that I might have a personality disorder and therapy as talking to a psychologist might help. I am just angry and mad because I do not know. Okay well talking helps I agree but for God Sake my life has been hell for me. I am angry, very emotional, I eat and always feel hungry, sleep all the time, get frustrated about anything, I used to cut myself, I have suicidal ideas sometimes, I do not go out, I refuse to see people, I can't enjoy anything, I am mad at myself, my life *****. Honestly I do not know what to do. Yes I want to see my first doctor but you know what they say doctors are always busy. FINE but I am trying to get an appointment and I donno I am just tired. College is going to start again and honestly I can barely get out of my room. Any comments
So you have been diagnosed and with Bi Polar by the sounds of it. A mood stabiliser is certainly needed to control your moods and it is also prescribed for some with deep depression too as it raises the mood somewhat.
The key to a mood stabiliser is that, if it does it's job, our mood is much the same all the time. We can rely on feeling the same tomorrow and thus plan around it. We may feel depressed but that is manageable if it is not deep and does not vary.
Ideally we deal with the depression too but your psych is right in some ways in that for some of us many meds do not work as they are supposed to.
But he and you can only find that out by trying them. I am aghast at what you say about him/her refusing to prescribe because of a personal opinion. That's time to change psych's to me as he/she is not open to the full range of treatments.
It is hard changing but if you find a good one it's worth every second it took to find them.
What you describe is a typical very depressed and erratic depression, indicative of BP needing both a mood stabiliser and anti d's. The right one is the issue and this can take time, a long time as you try this and that. But if you don't try you find nothing.
I'd lay it on the line and say you need to see someone who will prescribe what you need, not what they think.
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