What's wrong with me?

[Lollipop24]

I'm not really sure where to begin, but let me first start by saying...about 5 months ago, after being referred by my primary care physician, I went to see a psychiatrist.  I explained to her that i felt an incredible amount of stress ( i had just gotten out of a mentally and emotionally draining relationship), a constant feeling of being overwhelmed...it got to the point where i truly thought i was going to go off the deep end, like i had no control.  I had no idea how to feel better, and the worrying was exhausting.  Nevertheless, she perscribed to me...Lexapro, Xanax, Klonopin, and Trazadone (a sleeping pill)...naturally, i felt better...but when I began to feel like i had control again...i stopped taking them all together...It made me feel bad that i couldn't handle things on my own.  Everyone has problems.  I did okay for a couple months, but now, Im starting to feel that way again.  In addition, i have other feelings on top of those, which makes things worse.  I have a great family, friends, and a wonderful boyfriend.  The problem is, in addition to all these other feelings, i feel like i am not capable of being loved or find it hard to believe that i am .  These people tell me they love me and their actions reflect that.  Its like, deep down i know they love me, but yet i still doubt. I try not to say anything to them for fear of pushing people away, yet constantly thinking this way, and keeping it in, is driving me crazy.  I don't understand it.  Why do i think that way?  I just want to feel "normal" again.  Am i crazy? Paranoid? I really want to get a grip and take control.  I don't want to drive away the people who mean the most to me.  Please help.

[SDteacher]

Meds are not going to make you feel loved.  It is obvious that you are having some issues that need to be addressed and it is great that you are looking for answers.  You should definitely go to a therapist.  If you go to one and don't click then find someone else.  It took me what seemed like forever to find one that would really help me.  I agree with the other posts that you should neber quit cold turkey all of those meds.  It causes bad side affects as well as can put you in a deeper depression.  Here is a question I would like to pose (not to sound like my therapist);  what does it mean to Feel Love?  What do you perceive that as?  What do you think is missing exactly?  You may want to start thinking about that first.

[Venora Moonwind]

That is the hardest thing to get people to stay on their meds when they start feeling better.thesemeds arent like anti biotics.They are helping us produce the seritonin and other things that are body isnt producing.I am on celexa/zyprexa  as I am bi-polkar and I will be for life and thats okj with me because I now have a great quality of life thanks to my meds and therapy.
Stay with your meds and like the other poster said ,consult with your doc about tapering off if .
Have you been to a therapist as well? Atherapis can really help you with your feelings of being unloved and get to the core reasons for it as well as other issues you may have.
I wish all the best and let me know how you are.Remeber you are love and worhty to be loved.
Love Venora

[April2]

First of all, you should never go off your meds without your doctors knowledge. It can actually be dangerous if not extrememly hard on you. And you should never just abruptly stop. When you and the doctor agree you don't need the meds anymore, then they wean you off slowly and watch you carefully. It sounds to me like you went off them prematurely. If they made you feel better, why on earth would you want to stop? Do you feel ashamed that you are taking anti-depressants? It's not a weakness or flaw. Depression is a very real medical problem. It's a chemical imbalance in your brain, and it's not your fault! You just don't have enough saratonim (I know I spelled that wrong!) in your brain. It's just like a diabetic needing insulin because they're body doesn't produce enough on it's own.
As to why you have a hard time feeling loved, I don't know enough about your history or what might have happened in your past, or if this is just the depression making you feel this way. It sounds like you have a very low self-esteem. It would be a good idea for you to get counseling along with the ant-depressants. If you don't feel comfortable enough with your current doctor, then keep looking until you find one you can talk to. Please consider going back on the meds, and don't feel bad. Thousands and thousands of people take anti-depressants. Sometimes it's temporary, but a lot of them stay on them for life. There's nothing to be ashamed of! It doesn't make you a lesser person. I hope you feel better soon. I wish you the best.