Im not depressed...???

[gomemi]

this might sound bad, but I wanna kill myself with lots of work and little time for anything else. I really hate my life cuz of the **** that happened to me in the past, and for the failed relationships that ive had this year. first one, my bf broke up with me the day my therapy ended, and 2 days later i moved out with a physcho *****! anwyays, Im angry. I wasnt easy, I didnt have food for a while, because the government is **** and didnt give me money while i was doing full time school, no parents to help me financially, all on my own, wokring like a dog... anyways. Whatever that... the present now. I know I have good friends now, and all I can feel is the pain from those experiences, especially the one of that ******* abuser who molested me and got away with it! law doesnt exist people! Do it fast enough before its too late, in my case it was too late, and now all I feel is anger and hatred! **** it! So because of all this soar I now wanna kill or at least make myself extremely sick! I was in brazil and was weighing 130lbs, 5'7, male. Healthy. Ever since ive been back to Canada I lost alot of weight. I am now 117lbs, buble head, 5'7 male. I dont wanna eat cuz I hate it. A sandwich and a few things on the side is sufficient. I think I get about 600-800 calories... not sure.. a day... and yeah its awesome! I do it! I wouldnt suggest anyone to do that tho, because it isnt healthy, Im just trying to kill myself slowly. I have now decided to top my suicide, I will get myself a couple more jobs! :D haha ... I work 37.5 hrs. I wanna work an extra 20 hours, and I wanna party alot! I think its duable. My hours would make me very tired, and I would need to continue being a happy person, pretending to love everyone and life.  I wanna party all the time and I dont wanna have time. The remainder of time I would have I would be partying in Montreal and etc. Whats the point of it anyone? No one loves me intimately. My ex is a ******* douche! So **** him, and the new guy i like doesnt want me... pretends to like me... I wanna die! **** EVERYONE! Sorry if offend anyone, but I needed to tell at least one person, my plan of action!

[innerchild09]

Im sorry that you went through all that. I see why you are depressed and angry. Anyone in that situation would be, I know its not fair when people who do you wrong just get away with it. it really *****. So I get how you feel. It wasnt really right but sometimes its true the law doesnt always care. Thats how I feel anyway.

I think that you should see a therapist or something and get some help before you hurt yourself. I think it would be good for you to let this out to a doctor. And if you have other people who you can get some support from.

I was really angry with the people who hurt me too. I actually still am because I feel like they ruined my life and they won. Thats how I feel. And for a long time I said forget people cuz I figured all people are the same. Really there are good people just we dont always seem to meet the right people. Like everyone wants to hurt me. Like theres no good person. There are just sometimes we meet the lousy ones unfortantly. Hope that you feel better and you stay safe.

[Bubulous]

The best things to those who wait.  I know that is from a ketchuo commercial but it holds water.  I have been through almost all the things you have been through.  It has been a hard life from the beginning but I will tell you a secret.  If life gets too hard you always have an easy way out like the **** you are talking about.  However you will be benefited greatly with overwhleming compassion in this life and held in high favor in your next one if you tough it out.  I regret nothing of my life.

Nice to meet you, welcome to the forum.