Just Need Help/Support

[JKJ]

Hi...I post here sometimes.  (need to post more often--my bad).  I'm a 100% disabled vet, female with PTSD & chronic major depression.  I get my mental health care from the VA and it's pretty useless.  I'm in the beginning process of asking to be allowed to be seen by a civilian provider.  I've been told my request will likely be disapproved due to funding issues.  So not good.

For now though I'm not doing good at all.  My depression is horrible, suicidal thoughts are constant.  At one time I had spoken with the suicide coordinator at the VA medical center where I get treatment...she promised to keep in touch with me and see how I was doing; but she has never called me again.  That's how the VA works.  Just one of the many reasons why I want out of their system so badly.  My new therapist has done me more harm than good.

These horrible thoughts are ever-present.  I won't go to the VA ER....out of the question.  My family is non-supportive; they don't "get it".  I just need someone to "get it".

[JKJ]

I've inquired at those clinics before and once they find out I'm a disabled vet (they find out due to my income)...they tell me I have to go to the VA.  It's so frustrating...it feels like a hopeless situation.

[teko]

Is there possibly a pay based on your income clinic around where you live? Just a suggestion cause you need help my friend. There has got to be something. Somewhere. Hugs

[JKJ]

i've tried both abilify & cymbalta and both made me horribly sick.
i can't even recall all of the meds i've been on.  i know that twice i've gotten seritonin syndrome because the stupid VA wasn't paying attention to what they were giving me and what i was already on.  so i also don't trust the VA when it comes to handing out meds...they are clueless.

[goodgardenpeas28]

Which meds have you tried, i've been on a laudry list of meds too but I found abilify and cymbalta to be working nicely for the moment, hang in there I'm sure everything will work out even though it may take some time best of luck!

[JKJ]

Thanks for commenting...I appreciate it greatly.  No, I am not on meds.  The VA psych-doc that I have seen tried me on Prozac again (I told him I was on it once before and it didn't work....but he didn't listen)...and it didn't work again.  I've been on a laundry list of meds.  I am med-resistent for some reason and extremely sensitive to the side effects.

I've e-mailed my elected officials and gotten zero response.  They talk a good talk to the public, but when it comes down to it; the really don't care about vets....especially women vets.  My particular VA medical center provided funding for valet parking before they provided funding for some women's vets programs.  It's truly pathetic.

I have cardiac issues which makes exercise iffy.  Another whole separate issue with the VA...my physical health.  I just don't know how to keep going.

[teko]

Are you on meds? If so, it does not sound like you are on the right combination. It disgusts me that the VA is no better than that! I would email the governor of your state and ask what options are out there for you and share your story! What have you got to lose! In the interim try to stay active and not give into that black cloud. Exercise releases endorphines in the brain which fight stress and depression. When it gets bad come back here and vent, we will help pull you thru the bad times! Hugs