question that haunts me

[tellit2her]

I have a question that seems to be haunting me, first of all I am a son of a multi personality manic (passed away), and grew up as a child being beaten down physically and mentally, I am 53 now, abused opiates and in recovery at a year now, but I have bad dreams of someone always wanting to harm me. My wife suggests that I see a psychiatrist, but does anyone have any suggestions if I need to see someone else being in recovery. These things are now starting to surface and its kicking my butt. Any kind response would be appreciated. Thanks mike in nc

[Rainbow_Ike]

When I became suicidal 6 years into recovery (on the day when I was graduating from grad school) I was lucky that I had a therapist who was a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. I had changed careers though a private vocational rehab program for recovering alcoholics here in NYC which required participants to be in therapy, and they had a list of therapist who believed in their program who and offered discounted rates to those who had no coverage, like me.

My therapist had allowed me to keep paying him that low rate while i took an entry level job in my new field and went to grad school full time to become a social worker. He insisted that I see a psychiatrist who was a specialist in addictions before I went to the one my insurance was sending me to, since so many of them give addictive drugs to addicts. The doctor he sent me to (I had to pay the one time fee from my own pocket) turned out to be the staff shrink from the vocational rehab program! I had only met him once and forgot the name.

So when the insurance p-doc came up with the SAME diagnosis and suggested the same meds, I was comfortable.

You may not have luxury of this, but you may have the chance to pre-interview the psychiatrist from your insurance panel. (I was bale to do that with therapists from my current insurance over the phone, found three I liked, and had one session with each before selecting the one I wanted. Ask the "behavioral health specialist" from your insurance company). But you should be able to call the different options and ask them about their experience treating addictions

If you are in a Twelve step Program, you want to make sure that they are supportive of that "modality". (I used to bump into my first therapist at AA meetings on Sunday afternoons, after classes in Grad school - strange to learn that your therapist is going though a breakup on Sunday and not mention it on Tuesday night.)

The same is true when you hunt for a therapist - s/he does not have to be IN a 12 step program, but be positive about them. I got sober in 1984, when there were less therapists educated about Program, but by the time I finished grad school in 1989, it was being discussed, and now is required in training.

As a survivor of childhood sexual abuse (from strangers), And the son of a bi-polar mom, also now gone, if you need a buddy to chat with, feel free to send me a private message.

Ike

[mammo]

Hi.  You've had to endure an awful lot growing up, sorry to hear this.  You were sefl-medicating with the opiates and now everything you were suppressing is coming to the surface.  What we tend to do is"forget" about traumatic events in our lives and they eventually come back to haunt us.  Therapy would do you a lot of good.  I agree with your wife in seeing a psychiatrist so the two of you can determine what route of treatment would be best for you. You've come so far, time for some happiness! I too, would have nightmares having endured what you did.  But you needn't have to live like this, there is so much help for you.  I wish you all the best, good luck and take care.