Maybe I need to get medicinal help

[Squishy1]

Ive had severe depression quite a few years ago. Maybe Im going crazy or maybe its my environment. Or maybe I'm just a horrible person. All I ask of my bf is balance between me& his friends. But I continually find that he has weed parties in the garage after he says Im crazy for thinking he was up all night. Maybe I need to back off. Maybe I should go get my own place again. Maybe Im overbearing. All I want is for him to come to bed at a reasonable time when we've made plans the next day. Instead he blows me off to smoke weed til 6am. Its not like hes a loser; we both have successful jobs. He makes 3x what I earn. I just dont feel happy. & its getting worse. I should go. But I love him. & Im scared for my mental health if I leave to be alone.