My psychiatrist gave up... and so am I...

[Clarissa82]

Today my psychiatrist told me I made her very frustrated because she doesn't know what to do to help me anymore... she even asked me not to book appointments with her anymore because she was unable to help me and felt she was wasting her precious time (as she put it).

In a way I don't blame her, she has tried all her techniques on me and nothing has worked... Medication was a waste of time and money as well... Neither Zoloft not Xanax did anything for me and I didn't get anything out of psychotherapy in 5 months I have been seeing her...  Every session was full of tears and pain... She said that she was tired of listening to my telling her the same story over and over again, that I was stuck, and that she gave up... She said it was my problem and that I had to find a way to sort it out myself because only I had the power to get rid of my depression... and that nobody would help me if I didn't help myself. After hearing all that I felt totally alone and anxious... so defenceless and powerless... so little and insecure... so hurt and miserable....

Now I feel helpless and hopeless... Initially, a counsellor referred me to a psychologist, then the psychologist referred me to a psychiatrist, and now the psychiatrist has referred me to hell... I don't know what to do anymore... I really have tried very hard to help myself. If I didn't want to get out of this state of total despair and grief I wouldn't have sought professional help in the first place... I have talked to several doctors and psychologists and have tried everything from homeopathy to prescription drugs. But now that my last resort has told me that she can't help me I feel utterly devastated... I know I can see another psychiatrist, but I feel so down at the moment that I don't know if there's any point in doing so.

This lady is supposed to be one of the top psychiatrists in Singapore (where I live) and I chose her because I really wanted to become normal and wake up everyday without feeling it is the beginning of a new agony. But now. I'm so disappointed... On top of everything, I paid her a lot of money (for my standards anyway) and I don't feel I benefited in any sense, quite the opposite!!!! Now I just feel worse... like I played my last card and I played it wrongly... This all makes me believe there may be no hope for me and maybe it's better to just go and die... but  a part of me doesn't want to die because I know I can achieve many things in my academic and professional life (I'm quite successful academically)... if only I wasn't immersed in this emotional misery that goes beyond my pain coping mechanisms! If only I could find a way... I would give everything I have and everything I am in return...

Thanks for reading. I just needed to put this all out of my chest. Any comments would be appreciated...

[Hensley258]

That Psychiatrist should be ashamed to call herself a doctor.

So this doctor only tried you on two medications, then gave up?
Sounds like she's the quitter, not you.

You need to find a Psychiatrist that has a clue. Obviously this P-doc is living in a dream world if she thinks just trying a couple medications will work.

I know people (myself inclided) that have been thru 10 or more medications before finding one that works for us. This stuff takes time thru trial and error.

[lonewolf07]

Sometimes we have to "shop around" for a shrink who is willing to work with us without being judgemental.  Maybe it is difficult for her to listen to you telling her the same stories but IMHO a good shrink would be asking you questions to guide you towards understanding why you repeat these stories.  You must have a reason.  Shrinks can help us when we're "stuck"; that's part of their job.  I can't believe she said you were wasting her "precious time".  Maybe she feels like she has failed or maybe she's just another shrink who lacks compassion and empathy.

If she can't/won't refer you to another shrink, maybe you can find a women's organization who can help you find one.  Often these organizations hear about "good" shrinks from other woman - word of mouth kind of thing.  You have the right to be treated better than this shrink has treated you.  I've gone through the same process and concluded that some shrinks are crazier than I am  = )

I don't know if you want/need a shrink but social workers and some psychotherapists can also be incredibly helpful with our problems.  The important thing is to feel safe and to feel that you and your therapist are a good "fit" - that she is hearing you and guiding you.  Ultimately, we - the clients - have to do all the work.

[mr.lucky66]

I was surprized to hear what she said to you then learned you were in the far east. I'm not saying that western or american shrinks would have been better but they wouldb't have told you some of the things that she told you. I can relate because I feel sort of the same way. Medicine has not helped my depression and frustration much. I think maybe you could find a better doctor. all the best