Necessary to seek medical help

Hello. My question is whether, in your opinions, it is necessary for me to seek medical/professional help with the following description of my symptoms. I am male, 15 years old, a good student (though my school is known for it's extreme difficulty and workload), and an accomplished musician. I have no insecurities about my appearance. I have an average amount of friends and am able to make them fairly easily. My problems seem to have been growing steadily all my life, but are the most noticeable now. Recently, I have begun to intentially avoid all social situations with everyone. That includes my long-time friends whom I tire of. No parties or dances whatsoever. I lack any self-confidence to attempt to establish any relationship with girls my age and, due to previous HORRIFIC failures and experiences, (including borderline obsession for about two years on one person, twice) do not even try. I am no longer funny or outgoing as I once was. People seem to lack interest in being my friend. I have also completely lost my ability to cry no matter how stressed I am or how much pain I feel, physical or emotional. I haven't cried as long as I can remember, and now take a morbid enjoyment of my various failures and sadnesses. I stay home alone playing music and spending a fortune on it, (mostly classical) watch critically acclaimed films, preferably extremely violent ones, and play video games. Due to all of this, I feel I am not capable of existing in a routine, normal life, and aspire to be someone who does not have to deal with most people, as I start to resent them. I have violent thoughts and feelings, never towards myself though. I have not shared this with anyone, including my parents, who do not have time to deal with this and will not take me seriously. I try to hide these feelings with a positive attitude around people I know.

Sorry for the lengthly description, but I feel it would be necessary to create a good picture of who I am.

[Bob_D]

Dear ubah,

By professional help, I assume you mean a psychologist. I can't offer an opinion as to whether you "need" to see one, but it couldn't hurt and it might be quite useful. Far better, of course, would be to cultivate a meaningful friendship with someone with whom you "click" and with whom you could discuss your feelings on a regular basis. Such people usually are hard to come by, unfortunately.

I'm sure I'm not telling you anything you don't already know - or helping in any way, either - when I divulge to you that for most of us being fifteen years old was a very difficult time, as in "how did I ever live through that?" I certainly empathize with you.

Certain specific information, such as how long you have been preferring to avoid social situations and the nature and intensity of the violent feelings towards others would need to be discerned to assemble an accurate nature of your current emotional state and whether it is relatively mild or more serious. A psychologist could help you do that.  

From your self-description you seem to be someone of rather exceptional cultivation and intellectual potential, and I suspect that creates an additional psychological burden on you.

I don't know your parents, of course, but if you are correct in your assessment of them - that they don't have time to talk to you about this - then I think it would be worth your time to talk to a psychologist about your relationship with them, because that must be a very difficult situation.

Anyway, good luck. Drop me a line if you wish to let me know how things are going for you.

Bob D

I suspect you many of these questions you will wrestle with throughout your life. Are relationships worth it?