I'm glad your in therapy. Just know it taks quite a bit of time. Things won't happen overnight. Be patient with the process. If after a while you don't feel like you are getting anywhere or the therapist is not the right fit for you, try another one. Sometimes it can take a while to find the right fit and other times it's right away.
A pscychiatrist may be a good person to talk to with your description of how you are feeling. I really do think this would be helpful.
As for your memory. Depression can contribute to this but I wouldn't be so hard on yourself for not remembering everything. I can't remember much of my childhood either. My memory isn't very good either.
My brother was a 'late bloomer', that's what we called it. He couldn't figure out what he wanted to do. At age 27 he finally decided he wanted to be a lawyer. He went to school then, to do just that. He is 43 and a lawyer.
It's okay if your not sue, it will come when you are ready.
My eldest son is 26 with a college degree and he is still finding himself. He works as a cook. I have faith that he will decide what it is that makes him happy. He is not depressed but I will tell you that he does have some low self-esteem going on and some insecurities that I think are holding him back. I don't know what was going on with my brother so I couldn't say.
Just know you are not alone. Try to think or write down what makes you unhappy, happy, ideas about your future that would make you happy and what you think are the things or thing holding you back.
Lastly, have you had bloodwork with your physical. If you are deficient in vit d and iron, they can contribute to some of your issues. You have to ask for this bloodwork. You can also get an rx from your dr for Deplin (a breakdown of folic acid). It very well might help as well. These things can help your motivation come back in addition to your Therapy.
In my personal experience a dr not specializing in depression is not as knowledgable as a pscychiatrist or pcsychologist. If they think you need medicine than the pscychiatrist can prescribe it.
I don't know if you drink but alcohol can certainly cause you to feel depressed ( it is a depressant) as can drugs. This will not help your situation.
It's important to take care of yourself. Enough sleep, eating regularily and some form of exercise even if it's walking.
Everything I have mentioned can effect your lack of motivation, sex drive, sucidal passing thoughts etc. I hope this help. We are here if you need us.
Hi,
It is quite difficult to say that you suffer from depression or you are lazy. But as you say, I feel that you lack motivation. A driving force is needed to earn money which you lack. Maybe the present job is making you unhappy. I would suggest you to look for a job change, wake up early in the morning, do yoga. All these will make you happy. Do consult doctor, but medication wont help. A short course of antidepressants along with yoga will help you definitely.