Patience and hope

[michelle2525]

How do you continue to have patience and hope.  I have been trying new meds for almost a year and nothing has worked, I am feeling suicidal.  I don't want to go through life like this anymore.

[Jaquta]

I think just living moment by moment can help.  That's more a mindfulness thing than a survival thing in this context.

If you are feeling suicidal you should speak to your doctor or someone on your treatment team, etc or go to the hospital.

Also finding a good psychotherapist can make a huge difference.

[zzzmykids]

Dear Michelle,
You say you are trying different meds but don't say the disorder you have. It would help only a little to know. The main thing is you are feeling suicidal. Suicidal with thoughts, suicidal with a plan, suicidal committed to a plan and ready to inact it. Any of them are serious and worrisome, but the last two, with a plan and ready to inact are time to call 911 right now!
I am sorry you are having a hard time finding just the right drugs to assist you in getting better. It does happen. I rarely stay on one medication too long for side effect sensitivity or it just isn't right for me. For the past year and a half I used what are called naturals.
They ONLY help depression, period. Not mood swings, irrational behaviour or thought. So when my Mom died, my husband had a serious accident and my daughter chose to have this time in her life to "rearrange" hers and my relationship, well the naturals no longer worked. The new psychotrops I am taking seem to be working, definately have my head working better than when I was on the naturals. But if I have to change due to side effects, and they all have them, then I change.
I am happy that it is not the 1800 where they put women with BP in mental horrifying places to rot out their lives. I am happy we are no longer burnt at the stakes. I am happy I don't live in a country that throws mentally ill people out into the streets.
I also like my psych and that is a bonus.
Have you gone to your local pharmacist and asked what might work for you and told them what you have tried that has not worked?
Also, certain things like pain meds/aspirin interact with psychotrops. Cold meds too.
Start talking to the pharmacist, see if there is something that might work better for you.
Suicide is not the answer! We are strangers to you right now, but everyone cares and if you are BP most of us relate to what you go through.
Welcome to your new sounding board, safe home and to others that are a lot smarter than me that will be saying stuff to you!
zzzmykids