Really confused as to what this is

[Squizzy85]

Ok I will provide some details before i get to the question, and try to be as concise as I can. Thank you for taking the time to read this and answer.

I have a younger brother who is 30 now and seems to not have any enjoyment from the real world. Back when he was in his early 20's he completed half a college degree in business and law, had a girl friend that looked very steady and was working. When he turned 25 he had left his job, dropped out of college and split with his girl friend.

When this happened I asked him what was going on and he replied simply that he was exhausted from acting all these years to keep his friends and family happy, pretending to be on the track of a "normal" life.

5 years on I speak to him once a year if I am lucky he rarely takes my calls or rings me back. I spoke to him the other day for an hour to catch up and turns out he has completely taken advantage of the welfare system in this country. He is living on unemployment benefits in a public house where he pays a mere 58$ a week for a 2 bedroom unit. He spends all his time just playing computer games and has absolutely no interest in the world outside of them apart from eating and sleeping.

I asked him why he lives like this and his reply was "Its way to hard to achieve satisfaction in the real world, where in my games I have achieved a lot of satisfaction" He has somehow worked the perfect budget to live and be able to save enough to upgrade his computer each year and that pretty much keeps him happy.

Surely this is not normal he is completely lost in this virtual world and there is no way I can get him to seek professional help and the only thing I can think of is to try get him into something outside of his computer that makes him interested but how can I do that when he wont even try?

This life surely is not sustainable and he his living off hand outs and not even working is there some kind of mental condition that is causing this if so is there anything i can do to help?

[Squizzy85]

Hey I spoke to him today and it didnt go to well :(

He has no interest of leaving the house to play games because its an online game and he has no reason to leave. I would like to play with him but its one of those mmo games where you need to put alot of time in an i just dont have time. The only time he leaves the house is to go for a run or shopping.

I got very frustrated today and asked him to speak to someone and he just said he didnt want to spend money to talk to a professional. I offered to pay and he declined and it got worse from there. I suggested he might be depressed and he just laughed at me and called me another slave to the capitalist machine. Then told me he was happy with his life playing games and living off handouts from the government. I tried to tell him this life was not sustainable, he just laughed again and told me it was and he knows the system inside out. As far as i know in Australia there is no limit of how long you can be on welfare.

I dont know what else to do, surely this is a psychological issue how the hell could someone be happy living like this I have no idea what else I can do about to give up

[sodapop915]

ok easy get him help like a therapist y is the sudden change he is trying to avoid something way more than he is telling you we all no life is hard but he needs 2 speak 2 someone sooooooooooon

[untitledpulse]

Okay that is definately not normal.And I play online games and upgrade my computer but I'm active and have many other things going on.I think I get his problem He is a) very depressed b)has a fear of success and happiness(I have that problem still)he probably thinks he'll fail so why bother trying?c)He's escaping real life because he can't face himself.You can do all you can to help and I think it's wonderful that you want to help him..however he needs to choose to take that help.we can only change ourselves .Maybe have a family intervention? Get him to seek therapy of some kind.and try to build him up and hang out with him make him feel that he's valuable as a person.But you should not get drained by this because you need to have a life too.I really hope this gives you a starting point.

[dame_wilbur]

The first part of your post makes me think instantly of how I was when I was at my most depressed. I had to withdraw from school, break off most of my friendships, and withdraw into myself. I spent the next 3 years lying on the couch reading romance novels as they were the only thing I could muster an interest in. That and sleeping. I spent all my money on music and books, just as your brother is spending it on video games.
I would suggest nudging him with the idea of maybe seeking help. If that doesn't work at all, try and start playing the game WITH him. Invite him over to play games at your house, anything to get him social interaction without it being overly stimulating.

Good luck,

~Dame