Am I okay still? I'm worried

[shannonf_bc]

I have been off medication for about 6 months now.... My doctor wanted me to stay on them.... but I asked to come off slowly anyway... which might be why I am worreid... maybe i am just working my self into it

I don`t have strange thoughts of killing myself or feel useless or anything.

But I have been lazzzzzzy for the past 2.5 weeks.

I work from home... so i don`t need to get up and out anywhere.  But I have packing to do and well my house has gone to the *****.  This happened when my daughter and hubby went to Ontario (exactly 2.5 weeks ago) to get the new place etc set up..... I am finalizing things on this end.  I need to finish packing and go..... I keep leaving things to the last minute.  I really miss them terribly.... I sat down on the coach and bawled like they had died when they left.  

I do not leave the house at all except to open door check mail and return inside... I haven`t been able to motivate myself to get off the sofa I even sleep there.... wake up log on to pc (laptop) on the coach do a little work.... then just sit there.

I don;t feel like I am worthless and I do not think about suicide this time I just feel like I am never going to get there and be with them, I am delayed my another week or two cause my birth certificate hasn`t come yet and I need to get it to renew my license.

I guess the overall feeling of doom and that nothing is going to work out and my complete lack of energy are what's scaring me.... I don't ever want to get as bad as I was but I don't want to go to the doctors cause i'm lazy either.

I am not sad I just feel like I am never going to get there... nothing`s going to work out right.... I will break down on the side of the road and be stranded or something..... I want to leave but I haven`t done anything towards that goal

What do you guys think does it sound like i could be depressed again or am i just being a lazy idiot and feeling the normal stresses of life

[Liz9]

oh yeah, always remember, "the only thing that's permanent is change." So that means in those moments that are overwhelming and that you can't get by them, take some comfort in knowing that you aren't going to feel like this forever. the feelings pass. keep that notion that they will pass in your head and that's what you'll get. don't try to force it, just know that you don't feel good right now, but in a moment you will.

[Liz9]

I have been on meds for depression for about 15 years (I'm 49). Over that period of time, I have tried getting off meds, (felt really great for a couple of months) but always found that I can't do it. What has been really helpful is that I had a psychiatrist prescribing my meds and we went thru a few dif kinds until I really found something that helped me feel better. Right now I am starting to feel some of my depression feelings and I think I might have to chg meds (I've been taking wellbutrin 450 mg (not the time release) for approx the last 5 years)It has been great up until a few months ago. Hopefully, there will be something that works as well as the wellbutrin has. I'll let you know. I had to try a few dif kinds of meds before i found something that made me feel great. For me, that's a med that makes you feel like you're not on meds. It was uncomfortable going thru all the dif kinds till i found what was right, but well worth the time and effort. Talk therapy is something that was really great for me. Make sure you get someone that is really helpful, be fussy about who that person is. I found my therapist thru word of mouth from people whose judgement I trust.

[Bear13]

You've gone this long, and I hope you can continue to not rely on medication, that is my ultimate goal....  I suppose when I can think about being off meds and not have an anxiety attack, I'll try myself.......  take care of yourself!

[shannonf_bc]

thanks bear I will try to get a walk in today, I am usually better at forcing myself to do things. Just got to remotivate myself some how... If I can't kick it soon I will call doc's for new prescription soon...  

[Bear13]

Hi Shannon - it sounds like you're just depressed over the stress of moving, not having your family close by, and the anxiousness of worrying about not being on a medication anymore.... it's tough to break out of these depressive cycles, but you may just really need to either motivate yourself to get up and do something (even as simple as taking a short walk), or seriously consider seeing your doctor again to perhaps discuss alternative treatment methods...  the key thing is to NOT let this get the best of you.  Even with medication, you still have to work on the depression issues.  I feel when I'm getting depressed and know that I need to motivate myself to do something... it's really hard when all you want to do is lay around and let it get to you, but since you've been off the meds for 6 months (which is really remarkable), then try to get up and do something.  I'm certainly not implying that you are lazy, but you have quite a bit of stress right now and need to be aware that your situation is temporary.  You will soon be reunited with your family and things should start falling back into place.  You know yourself well enough to know if you need to be back on a medication.  Keep me posted...