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Should I if I feel I need too?
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Should I if I feel I need too?

So I've been urging to cut myself. Well, being urged. I got out of the psych institute a little over 2 weeks ago. Things have been going pretty good. I'm 18 By the way. I dunno what's wrong. I feel okay most of the time, I just get Lonely and upset when I miss the people who lived n me that are go e b.c I take the medicine now. It just upsets me t think of what I did to them. So I want to cut to help them forgive met and help me forgive myself. My therapist said I would go back for cutting depending on how deep it is I cut. But the cutting I want to do is something different. Not a simple cut, like superficiality, just something different is all I can say....I just want to know if like, I should do it and not tell her. B.c if I tell her I'll go back tot the hospital, and I really can't afford to go back, but if I do it it'll hold me over until I'm ready to tell her, and accept things myself. Like, I told her I wanted to cut. I'm just confused, it's like she gave me permission to do it, but I think she's tricking me. Won't I have to go back if I tell her due to my past history? Is she lying to me just to get me to go back? I need to do it, I mean, I can hold back but I keep skipping taking my meds, and I know soon it will get out of control. But. Can hide it. I just don't know what to do, can anyone help me or give me any advice....please?........
Tags: Medicine, help me, confused
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2088228_tn?1332635899
I'm pretty sure you already know what is the right thing to do. Take your meds. Don't cut yourself.
It seems like you just want somebody to talk with you about your desire to hurt yourself. I used to cut myself when I was your age (a whopping 8 years ago- I'm 25) and I still think about it sometimes.
Cutting yourself is like a show of your pain to the world. When nobody seems to acknowledge the emotional pain you feel on the inside, then they have to acknowledge the pain you show on the outside. It hurts when you do it, and that feels good because you think you deserve to be punished for whatever reason- for not being good enough. And the physical pain distracts you from feeling your dark feelings. Am I right?

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Avatar_f_tn
Cutting is never a good thing to do... and meds aren't evil. Some are effective, some have side effects you can tolerate and others don't. The key is to find the right medication.

As for your therapist, I can guarantee you that she did NOT give you permission to cut, she just told you that the hospital wouldn't accept you if you had minor cuts/scratches but that if you had serious cuts they would hospitalize you (probably). This is NOT permission to cut. By thinking that way you are placing the responsibility on her but it's not, it is your responsibility if you cut.
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Avatar_f_tn
Oh no, I take FULL responsibility. I've just decided to **** everything having to do with meds. My new attitude. Not too positive but that's life. If I happen to cut, I just won't tell her. Cutting isn't so bad when it replaces killing yourself. There is no "right" medicine!!!! The right meds are self healing! I have my own ways! I. Sorry to be an ***, I'm just a little upset with everyone right now. But I'm NOT placing responsibility on her!
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Avatar_m_tn
sometimes you cant heal yourself,especially with mental health,psychiatric disorders,voices that you think are real and seem to you extremely real imo would be part of some pychiatric disorder,its not your fault,you need help,how long have you had these voices for?
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Avatar_f_tn
don't cut never cut. i cut a lot but that's because i can't help it and i really feel i need it but if u don't feel like that please don't do it it isn't worth it and it isn't going to help them forgive u it's just going to make things worse.
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