Trouble at home

[summerlion1123]

Well this is mostly just me venting but any advice or suggestions, or just some sharing would really help. I am so unhappy at home and me and my husband scream all the time at eachother. I feel like he just does whatever he wants and I don't get to do anything. Partly that is because I don't have any friends. I don't even know how to drive our car because it is a manual and no matter how hard I try to learn I just can't do it, so there went what social life I had. We used to have a pretty nice car but it broke down beyond repair. I have a two year old son and he has witnessed a lot of fights, I don't like that because I know what that is like. I try not to fight in front of him but my husband just makes me blow up. My husband and I used to be perfect for eachother, he was calm and I was hot tempered. Now he is just so needlessly mean to me, and in return I am even meaner to him. I feel like he is the problem here but sometimes I wonder if it is all just me and if I leave him I am being stupid, but neither of us are happy either. I can't see how I could leave though. I can't get a job without a car and he uses our only one, I can't get a car without a job, and I have no where I could go and neither does he. No one has room for me. Also, I have a big problem with depression and anxiety and every time I try to work I have panic attacks. I scream and cry and lose sleep, and then I become terrified of the next day, so I quit. I can't get therapy because we don't have money. Too much for welfare and not enough to afford our own. What can I do? I'm at my wits end. Some people have suggested marriage counseling, but again no insurance and no money (and no church).

[summerlion1123]

I thought about holding hands the next time but the very idea nearly made me flinch, and the idea of touching him at that moment disgusted me... I am not sure if that means anything, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it.

[jrmcjpm]

wow! i can't believe how much your situation is just like mine!!! wow! thats all i can say! except i have to children ages 1and 2
okay, you need to go talk to someone professionally!!! you HAVE too, your no good to your child this way!!! it was the last straw last Sunday...i got soo angry and was screaming at my boyfriend and my daughter looked terrified and crying her beautiful little eyes out!!! that was it...i needed to get help! and i did you need to call welfare and figure something out as far as talking with someone...there has to be a hospital that accepts it! look you need to read what i wrote and see how alike our situations are! man i can't believe it!!! ...please read it! you are not alone!!!!

[uberadtx]

The next fight you have, hold hands while fighting.  Do not let go.  Its an old trick but things become different when holding on to each other metaphorically and physically.  Keep me posted.