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What exactly is wrong with me?
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What exactly is wrong with me?

Hi. I'm 20 and I have a little sister who's 10 who is going through the same thing as I am. My mom has anger problems and she started beating me since I was 2. She even tried to drown me. However, that's not my big problem. I am extremely smart and when I was 8, my IQ was 128. I was mature as a child, and rather tall and heavy. I weighed about 170 pounds as a kid. My doctor said because I was tall, there wasn't anything wrong with me.

Ok, to the actual problem :/
I am very, very, very shy. People used to think I was mute. I hated people (and I still do for no reason), I was sad all the time, and I hated myself. What was really weird is that I seem to have different personalities. One moment I may appear happy, another moment I may appear angry or sad. Sometimes I'm very smart, sometimes I'm kinda dumb. I am never willing to talk to anyone. Ever. The only time I may like someone is if the person is through a computer screen. It's sad. When I like an idol (celebrity) through the internet, It's not just fondness. It's an obsession. I get attached to celebrities really bad. I start crying whenever the celebrity doesn't do something I like.

note: Don't forget my 10 year old sister is going through the same thing. And I can't go get an actual doctor's help in real life because I'm poor, and my family will shun me if they find out I'm getting help.

So, do I have multiple personality disorder or what? Is there something very wrong with me? Is there some sort of online help I could get?
Avatar f tn
It sounds more like a mood disorder, but I would definitely encourage you to try talking to a school counselor because you do need someone to talk to about what you are going through in person even if it is hard for you.  It's the only chance you have at a happy, healthy life.  The best thing about the school counselor is that you can see the person while you're at school, so it's not something your family will necessarily pick up on.

Are you still with your mother?  Is she still treating you and your sister the way she used to treat you?
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