Why can't I stop focusing on the bad

[Omusicgame]

I don't know what it is, but somehow I always seem to focus on the bad.  I just got into this funk again.  14 years ago I fell 7 stories, shattered my pelvis and my elbow and I was in a coma for about 3 weeks.  I was so close to the end, but I survived.  I rehabilitated and now I walk with a little bit of a limp.  I can't stand it, and I wish it was like everybody else's leg.  I think of my best friend, and I wonder why he has it better.  This thought crosses me alot.  Like, he doesn't have a limp.  And I also think that maybe he thinks I tried to commit suicide.  Maybe I tried to jump.  But, I honestly don't think I did.  I actually dont know what happened to tell you the truth.  And thats what I'm afraid of, that people think I tried to do it.  It's ashame I can't just focus on the fact that I survived.  I can't focus on the fact that I have a kid and a wife and a house and a job and a car.  I can't focus on this stuff sometimes.  I guess, that's just the way it is.  I'm just so tired of focusing on my best friend and what he thinks.  I guess it's just the fact that I feel like he won and I lost.  But i didn't lose, I'm doing pretty well for myself.  I just dont get it.

[Paxiled]

Depression makes no sense.  That's why it's a disease. People who haven't suffered anything much feel this way. Have you ever gone into therapy to try to escape thinking this way?