hepb and my depression

[vinokadir]

i am a 2nd year mbbs student.i used to really do very well in my studies b4 but now not able to study at all.i had a gud senior who helped me during my first yr coll.den we talked.i fell for him.he too liked me.but we had caste probs.so he told dis will not happen.all our communication ly thru calls and msgs.iv met him ly once dat too he wantd to advise me abt dis infatuation.days went like dat me upset and he advising me dat dis was mere attraction.suddenly one day he revealed he is a chronic carrier of hep B.he s hbsag +ve and hbeag-ve vertical transmission.am totally shattered til dis minute.he was also very depressed.he told he din want me to suffer my entire lyf dats wy he wanted to leav me.but im talking to him as a gud friend now after a long gap of no contact. but im not able to stop thinking abt him and dat hepb.i cry most of the nights.not reading much.no concentration at all.duno how to get ovr dis :( ;(

[nursegirl6572]

Well then, all you can do is pray for him, but at the same time, you cannot neglect your own well being.

[vinokadir]

am still too young to take a decision..i jus want to make sure nothing ll happen to him...am so worried hearing ppl die soon in their adulthood of hepatocellular cancer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:-(:-(;-(

[nursegirl6572]

I'm a bit confused.  Were you romantically involved with this man?  Or just good friends?  Other than him having Hep B, is he a nice guy?  Good to you in other ways?  If I understand correctly, he "broke up" with you out of fear you would become infected?

If that is the case, both of you could use some education.  Hep B is a viral disease, it is a blood borne infection, transmitted very similarly to HIV.  If proper precautions are taken, you would really have a minute chance of ever becoming infected.  You would need to protect yourself sexually, with correct and consistent condom usage.  While not a great risk, you would not want to share razors, things like that.  That's pretty much it...you cannot get Hep B from casual contact, or sharing environmental objects, like toilets, utensils, etc.

Plenty of serodiscordant couples (one is +, one is -) live together, for years, with no issues whatsoever.  If you really like this guy, and this is the ONLY issue for both of you, keeping you apart, then you need to go with him to his infectious diseases doctor, and educate yourselves about the real risks associated with being in an intimate relationship with someone who has Hep B.  Some people can deal with the associated risks and anxieties, some can't.  That would have to be something that YOU would have to decide for yourself, but only AFTER you have educated yourself better.

That being said, you're obviously suffering from depressive symptoms.  Regardless of what happens with this guy, you need to seek professional help to deal with that.  You don't have to be suffering like you are.  And, even in unfortunate situations where we are unable to be with someone we would like to, we cannot stop living, and we cannot let it affect us to where our grades suffer, and we're checking out of life.

It's hard to determine from what you have said if this guy genuinely is worried about infecting you, hence why he is distancing himself from you, or whether he may be using that as a convenient excuse to move on.  Either way, you have a duty to take care of yourself, my dear.

Please let us know how you're doing.  Best of luck.

[eternity1234]

give yourself time when you know you are addicted;i do not have a good feeling about taht guy however good he is;just getting a bad feeling;because he knows you are into this so badly and he also seems to have got lost in this ditch;
if it was real,you would be in your sense,studying honestly,and then looking of =ve ways to help him ;and not in soem stupd trance you are in now;sorry again for being harsh;
when you are not able to take care fo yourself,then how will you atke care of others;
you are being dillusional perhaps;if you are honest in your thoughts,can you tell this to your parents; do not thnk so you would;

[vinokadir]

thanku so much...am so much addicted to messagin him..past two days he has stopped replying me..he wants me to study without distractions as my exams are nearing...but i couldn control myself..he's doin evrythin for my own gud..i don wanna miss him.i feel i shud stay wit him his entire lyf helping him..but i duno wat to do..my parents duno all dis..if dey *** to knw dats it...am not able to think of anythn except him..he s doin for my gud ly..dat itself keeps me more attached to him...duno wat to do..jus spending my days wit no life :-(

[eternity1234]

good ,if he is not fooling around with you;

My grandmom had terminal cancer and she died in front of eyes;that is life;she was my dearest friend;and even then I had gone for work because life has to move on;my crying would not bring her back neither does my not crying show that I cared for her less; I just accepted that as life;

I hope you can bring smile to many people;s life by becoming a good doctor;do not waste time crying,watching tv,movies and not studying;these days will never come back;
where ahs your motivation for studying gone;
I really feel that you should be away from that man for a few days and once your mind is sorted and you are back into your life studying properly ,the  you can meet him as a healthy friend who wishes him good;

And yes even I could have said,my grandmom is dying,she advised me the best,she loved me the most,i will stop eating,working ,studying etc ,etc..but I chose to take my life in control,the pain went in some time.this is life;its is sad but this is what is.......
I wish you happy life ahead;

[vinokadir]

thaku...yea he has it...he s a gud person actually...he s a kinda gentleman..he has always advised me for the gud..i couldn take my mind off dis...kinda daily crying ovr dis..and depressed..so i spend most time watching tv movies and going offf to sleep..i really wanted to study well and get gold medal wen i first enterd collg but now so much worries at heart,,duno how to change myself...wat ll happen to him...always my mind searching for an answer to this...:-(

[eternity1234]

i really feel,you should work hard and become a good doctor;and millions of life;
I hope I do not sound insensitive to you;there will be other forum members who would be able to support you in better way;
But I really feel how can you trust someone;are you sure he has that disease;are you sure he is not fooling around with you;I have had such a bad experience with boys in college that i sincerely feel that you should concentrate on your studies;what would I not do to get my college days back,so taht I would study instead of falling for some man and wsting my 15 years of life;

[vinokadir]

why no one is replying?? :-( somebody help