What to do or to think

[Chezaferris1112]

Here it goes probably dramatic especially from me I just wanna know if I have depression cuz it doing my heading. I have my family and boyfriend always telling me to cheer up its winding me up. Yh I have self harmed and yes I love doing it blood is the best love the taste love the look i even start to like the taste of raw meat. Ok yh I have my down in the dumps moments. But being angry frustrated a lot of time can really irritate me. I am scared of going taking to people so I hide away I am very anti social so I never really go out. I have no confidence I hate absolutely everything about me I just wanna rip myself into pieces sometimes I get angry at myself for being me I can't stand no more I've had of being me worrying about if I have any problems I've had enough of my dark thoughts and just being me I hate bring paranoid a lot of the time I just need someone to tell me I'm not depressed or an attention seeker cuz at this rate I just seem like a bad person

[Chezaferris1112]

I might try that I have tried the elastic band method but it just made me annoyed and fed up and just wanted to hurt myself more so not trying that again but the red pen on the arm I will give it a shot thank you for your advice this does help thank you

[Bubulous]

It is an obsessive thing and there are other things you can do that do not really replace it but if you really want to quit than I would suggest starrting practicing them.  Put some rubberbands on your wrist and pop them when you think about cutting.  Also take a felt tip red marker and draw scratch marks on yourself wherever you cut in order to give the appearance of cut marks.  I also have tried dark red fingernail polish to make it look like cuts that are deep.  I really hope you can figure out a way to get out of that habit so that you don't hurt yourself someday or worse like you said.

[Chezaferris1112]

It is hard to resist sometimes I must admit even if I walk by a bit of glass I have a real temptation to just pick it up and keep it for later on sometimes i have feeling of not wanting to find away to stop but sometimes I'm scared of accidentally going to far and my biggest fear is death it's just it feels good just to see my blood to feel my own pain I have drawn messages and pictures in my blood but I had to burn them

[Bubulous]

Cutting can start out like a lot of stuff.  You may hear about it by reading about it and you may try it someday just to feel like I said to feel different or or to get attention but it can become addictive if it goes on too long because it is a way to release endorphins.  It is unhealthy but it can be worked on and there are a few ways to stop it.

[Chezaferris1112]

College it's ok I guess I have a few friends but I not really bothered on how many friends I got,  really I'm a residential student at college where I am to scared of going talking to people do normally get very bored and lonely a lot of things come time mind and well that's when I self harm I always said it was boredom that really that gets me self harming but that's just a silly  thing I not sure on why I do it most of the time I just think its all I got to do these days sounds silly I know

[Chezaferris1112]

Heyya I'm 17 and my arms mainly legs a couple times my feet, and have done once or twice on stomach and I have done couselling at college didnt really help tho and well yh attention you probz right tbh I have had a few people say I'm an attention seeker and not that i know of about my family being diagnosed for anything sorry

[Bubulous]

Also what drove you to try to cut yourself to cut in the first place.  Somrthing a friend of yours did...etc
It can be of getting attention or a few other things mostly, in my opinion, an attempt to feel special.
There could really be a problem.  Have you or your immediate family been diagnosed with any mental disorders.  The main thing I need to know is you age.

[Bubulous]

How old are you?  Where you you cut yourself at?  Have you seen a therapist.  How long has this behavior going on?