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compulsive lying
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compulsive lying

Hi,
I hope you can help me. I told a lie a while ago at my old workplace,( lets call it company A), I lied about where i grew up and chose a poorer area than the one i actually grew up in.). I suppose i lied to embelish the truth for Sympathy, I really regret this now and would do anything to take it back. Someone at my current workplace has found out this is a lie and has now told my old work collegues that i lied, (and that i'm a compulsive lier).  I am going back to work for company A in a few months and am not sure what to do? I have learnt my lesson and stopped lying and don't want to carry on with the the lie once i go back.
Many Thanks
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1211960_tn?1272978102
Why would you lie about your social status to get sympathy? Is that your view about the lower class is that they are looking for sympathy? Why are you going back to work for the company again. I am not sure what you can do. I would start by taking a class in diversity and understanding the dynamics of different social classes. I am sure it is going to be very hard to gain respect from your co workers. You said you learned your lesson but failed to say what lesson you learned.
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Avatar_f_tn
Sympathy for one's self or situation does nothing.  I think you need to examine why you wanted this sympathy to begin with.  I think the best thing to do is just don't bring it up when you go back.  I don't think anyone truly cares that much where you grew up, so let it rest.  If it does come up, you'll have to deal with it then and this is the consequence for lying.  I'd have a hard time facing my former co-workers, as it seems to have become such a big deal, and one has to wonder about this also.  You do need to determine why you wanted this sympathy.  I grew up in extreme poverty, but never felt sorry for myself or wanted anybody else to feel sorry for me.
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1211960_tn?1272978102
I grew up in extreme poverty and I never wanted sympathy either. When I did get it, it embarassed me. Apparently it still does as the people that live the poorest are the ones that wear the brand name clothing. They don't want people to know they are poor.

The original post kind of upsets me because it just shows how far we need to come with understanding diversity.
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Avatar_f_tn
...Also, even though that was a "big" lie, since it affected your lively-hood, I'm not sure if that's "compulsive lying" (by definition) , UNLESS you do this type of lying all the time.
Do you FireFly??

Here's a vocabulary definition of "compuylsive lying" and what it is:

...." DEFINITION: There are a number of reasons that people lie. The first is fear. This is the most common reason that people may lie, and they are taking shelter from a perceived punishment. It may be because they know they have done something wrong a single time, in which case it is not compulsive lying. But if they are always in fear of being punished, it may become a habit, which is a second reason for lying. In this case, it may become compulsive lying, which is lying by reflex. Even when confronted by the truth, they insist the lie is the truth in this case. A third case is learning to lie through modeling. When a people see others lie, especially when they get away with it, they may become more prone to lying. Finally, people lie because they feel if they tell the truth they won't get what they want. Thus, out of the main reasons for lying, only lying by habit can truly be called "compulsive lying" or "pathological lying"".....
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