stuck like this

[inneedofhelp82]

I was diagonised with depression last year and i feel like i get worse all the time instead of better. I struggle daily with suicidal thoughts and feeling so low i want to stay in bed it seems no one can help. I have a therapist and a social worker and i feel like they are giving up on me which is making me feel even more lost and hopeless. Is there any hope that this will ever get better? Another thing if professional are meant to help then how come they don't know what to do to help me, at times i feel i should just give up.

[inneedofhelp82]

Thanks for that, i was talking to my therapist this morning and he mentioned medication again i said i will think about it. The last stuff i took i took an allergic reaction and ended up calling the out of hours it was late at night and i had to get medication to take away the effects of the medication, it was scary and that has happened me about three times on different medication, but i can see sense in what you say i can't be allergic to everything and there are medications to take away the allergic reaction although the last one took days to get out of my system my head was so sore i could hardly lift it of the pillow.
I know its up to me to help myself, i also have major depressive disorder and post traumatic disorder and anxiety, panic attacks and argraphobia, so i guess thats a lot for a therapist to work with. My therapist is planning to do intensive therapy for the ptsd but he wants me to go into hospital or another secure environment to do it because he said i am too unpredictable, which is true, so i suppose he's not giving up but i sense his frustration at times but i suppose he is human too.
I feel i have been fighting it for so long the depression is a new thing but the other issues i have had for about 16 years but the depression and suicidal thoughts i struggle with them the most.
Again thanks for your advice i really appreciate it.

[thegodnicky]

oh, also,

Your therapist can not help you, and in that I mean they can not directly change you.
They can, and are pretty good however, at making YOU see what you need to work on, and helping YOU come up with a plan of action to get to where you want to be mentally and such. They aren't giving up on you, but you might be giving up on yourself, and therefore perceiving "them" as giving up on you.

You can do this. I promise. It is hard, and rough, and you will have to fight every step of the way, but it does get easier, and it is oh so worth it!

[thegodnicky]

It can, but as about 50-75% of it can be the chemicals in your brain, so you will never be as happy/back to normal as you could on meds. (I'm major depressive btw)

It is TOTALLY normal to be freaked out by the meds, because messing with your brain chemistry is a big deal, but, unfortunately, us with depression kind of need to.

Worst case scenario, you have a reaction, and need to be taken to the doctor or hospital, and thats a pretty extreme case.

Best case scenario, you start to gradually feel better and get your life back.

See the pros? lol. It is a pretty simple decision if you look at it that way

Allergies can be tricky, but as long as you know/it's on file what you have been allergic to in the past, they won't make the mistake of giving you anything you are allergic too, and they may avoid other meds that are "close" to the same chemical structure of the ones you had the reaction with.

It is no fun to have a bad reaction, but it is also no fun being hopeless.

When you are depressed you DO NOT think clearly, and only look at the bad, hopefully this helps you realize that any bad that could happen is SO overshadowed by the good that it's a "no brainer."

It is hard to be on meds, remembering them, and fighting the social stigma of "why can't you be happy without a pill" to which I shoot back "why can't people with diabetes make ******* insulin? We don't know. Same here genius."  I'm pretty sick of that ? (if you can't tell)

So get off your butt and to your therapist and let them know you are ready to have a life, to feel like you have worth, to laugh and have goofy days again.

It really can happen, and the meds don't fix it, they allow YOU to take your life back!

Just like insulin can't fix diabetics, they still need to watch what they eat etc...
You will still need to talk about it, still try to stay positive and motivated, and the meds just    give you the boost up to get there!

Good Luck and let me know how it goes, because it is statistically impossible for you to be allergic to EVERY anti-depressant on the market. :P

[inneedofhelp82]

I don't take medication i am afraid too because i have had so many allergic reactions to medication in the past. My therapist keeps saying how much it would help but i am too afraid, i know this is probably holding me back but surely depression can be treated with out medication, can't it?

[thegodnicky]

Are you on any medication?