hi do i need help

[finaldays999]

I've been feeling extremely for the last 18 months since a HIV scare 18months ago, right now at this minute i feel lower than at any point in my life. I have no energy, I've let my appearance turn to crap, i drink almost every day and i feel sad most of the time or angry, do i need to go on meds?

[finaldays999]

I don't know where to start. I got sexually abused as a child, I don't know who by, I tried to keep that under lock and key. i was also abused by a friend of my moms when I was about 8. I started drinking quite heavily when I was 13, I'm 26 now. I was a very good sportsman but as I started drinking more and more it deteriorated. When I was 16 i fell deeply in love with a girl, she wasn't my first girlfriend, it only lasted about 6 months but i really loved her, deep down i still do. For the next 5 years after that i abused ecstacy, cocaine, amphetamines etc, never crack or heroin though or any injectables. When i was 18 i made friends with a guy, we used to take drugs together, one night when i was sleeping i felt him touching me up, i felt so angry but i never told anyone, he kind of made me just drink more. Then i broke away and moved away from home straight after my mom died at 19, I started wrking and drinking every evening, my confidence was shattered. When I was 21 I met a girl online, we got pregnant immediately and had 2 children by the time I was 24. One night we had a huge argument, I got wasted and went to a gay sauna and gave oral sex to a guy. I am not gay, I don't know what I was thinking. This is when I had a horrific HIV scare, I have been convinced I have had it for the last 18 months even though the moderators here on medhelp say it's not possible through oral sex, this has created untold anxiety. Finally a few weeks ago I met a girl, in a totally organic way down at a sports game, she made my heart beat a million miles an hour and i know she liked me, we kissed, i have her number, i can't stop thinking about her but i am stuck in a loveless relationship which i should never have entered. And that's my story

[Prettyinpink123]

Hi, I'm sorry you are feeling this way. Please go and talk to someone, it may help you. What you hide was a scare and now you know you do not have HIV. Just be careful. But I had been on a depression medication for a while now and it has seemed to work for me. You are not going to feel better until you talk to someone.

[TheLightSeeker]

Hi there finaldays999.
Welcome to the forum.

You could benefit from a proper evaluation.
Therapy and drug recommendation will follow.
Presently you are attempting to self-medicate,by consuming alcohol,
which itself is a drug with temporary numbing effects,and potentially
very damaging and lasting negative long term effects.

My suggestion is to seek counselling soon.

You have underlying issues that have not been addressed.
Please post again with more details about your situation.
You can pm me directly if you prefer.
We're all here to support each other.
I know there's a great Soul inside that body of yours,
that just needs to find its Path.
You've made the first step today!
God Bless You!
Niko