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Avatar universal

sad

i had to have a d&c only week ago after they found my baby had stopped developing at 8wks, i was 12wks. i am really having a hard time dealing with this loss. everything seems to make me cry, or atleast wanna cry. i have a 4 yr old as well. seeing him makes me saddest, i just imagine what my baby would have been like. everyone says its ok, and we can try again and all that. but i dont feel any better. my baby is dead. i'll never know what it was going to look like, sound like, or how it would feel to hold it in my arms. i just feel a constant sadness. how can i feel better?
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442270 tn?1208026321
I am so sorry for your loss. You have a right to feel the way you do. I do not know what you are going through but I can only imagine. My oldest sister lost her baby 21 days after he was born because he was premature and he only weighed 1lb and 13oz when he was born and my youngest sister had 2 miscarriages one after another. Have you talked to your doctor about maybe trying some kind of ad's to help with your depression until you are able to deal with your loss better? Just try to do things with your little girl to keep your mind focused on her and time will heal your pain. The lord is with you just try and stay strong for your little girl and cherish every moment with her. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Don't let this depression control you because you have a little girl to think about but don't be afraid to cry when you need to. Try to be strong, the lord will help you through this. I will be praying for you. I am truly sorry for your loss. Keep in contact and let me know how you are doing, if you don't mind.  
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Avatar universal
I am in a similar situation as you. I found out I was pregnant on 1/26, went to my 1st pre-natal appt on 2/28, at 12weeks. My Ob/Gyn did an u/s but did not hear a heartbeat, so she did a vaginal u/s and found out that the fetus measured at 8wks, it stopped growing 4 1/2 weeks ago. I had the d&c procedure done last Thursday and it's still really hard to accept. But I think my Husband are moving on and would like to try again. We would like to think of it as mother nature's way of telling us, this baby was not meant to be and that God wants the best for us. We have a son, who just turned 5 on 2/27 and we are so thankful that we have him in our life. I'm sorry for your loss... Be strong and don't give up :)
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Avatar universal
I had the EXACT same thing happen to me, i found out at 12 weeks that baby died at 8, and i was DEVASTATED as you are....that was 5 years ago, 6 weeks after my dandc, i got pregnant with my daughter who is now 4 and then went on to have another healthy baby who is now 2...when i look back, i still think of that little baby we lost as our angel, i also believe that he went up in heaven and picked out his siblings and sent them to me.........sometimes i want to send them back :) LOL j/k i wouldnt change things, if i would have had that baby, i would not have had Macey and Matthew here with me. so i do agree that at the time this is not what you want to hear....i wanted to punch the people that said this but......Everything happens for a reason.......our lives are in gods hands, and one day youll look back and realize that. my thoughts are with you every day!!
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Avatar universal
I am so sorry for the loss of your baby. I too lost a baby when I was 18, I am 33 now. I was 22 weeks pregnant and went into premature labor. Please give yourself time to heal. You do have to control your thought though okay... I know this doesn't sound easy, but, you cant allow yourself to fall deeper and deeper. There is a reason why your baby was taken to heaven to with God and you will not ever know that reason. I understand your pain, it about made me lose my sanity and to be truthful I STILL suffer from depression and that was the first experience I had ever had with depression/anxiety. God Bless.
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Avatar universal
I am so sorry for the loss of your baby. I too lost a baby when I was 18, I am 33 now. I was 22 weeks pregnant and went into premature labor. Please give yourself time to heal. You do have to control your thought though okay... I know this doesn't sound easy, but, you cant allow yourself to fall deeper and deeper. There is a reason why your baby was taken to heaven to with God and you will not ever know that reason. I understand your pain, it about made me lose my sanity and to be truthful I STILL suffer from depression and that was the first experience I had ever had with depression/anxiety. God Bless.
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Avatar universal
Hello,  I too am sorry for your loss. I do agree with jo929, this is a natural greiving process. So cry when you feel like it, it will help you heal. As the old saying goes, "Time heals all things." I know that doesn't help alot now, but it is true. God Bless You!
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Avatar universal
i am sorry for your loss it takes time to get over something like this my daughter had twins boy and girl and the boy died at 5 mo old he died in her arns wirh sid she greived and i dont think she ever relly got over this,enjoy your little girl and thank god for her  i wish you lots of luck greiving is a normal process     jo
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Avatar universal
Hun,

Im really sorry for your loss, you are greaving right now and you have every right to feel this sadness. This is totally normal to feel this right now . You have to give this time.  I just cant imagine what your going through but i sure do feel for you.  Just hold that little 4 yr. old as close as you can and I know things will start to get better.

Stay in touch,
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