Thank you so much for your assistance. I will schedule an appointment with another dermatologist for an evaluation.
Based on your description, you may well not need to remove the mole at all.
Moles on the palms, soles, and genitals, have the reputation of being at greater risk than other moles. That's proobably why the urologist said what he did. However, there is little data to back up this traditional statement, which is probably why the dermatologist said what he did.
My usual practice is to treat genital moles the same as any other: if they look funny, they come off, and if they don't look funny, they stay. Given the fact that the mole is in plain view and you're sure it isn't changing, it probably is fine.
With pigmented lesions, however, it's best to be sure. My advice is therefore to get another opinion--from a dermatologist (we look at moles not just take them off.) If the verdict is to leave it alone, I'd do that and just follow it. If not, a very superficial biopsy with minimal cosmetic implications should suffice. That could be done by the dermatologist as well.
Best.
Dr. Rockoff