I don't agree with your doctor. Outbreaks on the upper buttocks are a common manifestation of genital herpes. You most likely contracted that some years before the first episode 12 years ago. (Just as most people don't know where they were exposed to oral cold sores when they get their fist attack, the same is true of genital lesions. As of now, where you got it from the first time doesn't matter.)
Genital herpes can spread from the front as well as the back. Therefore, it's necessary to use condom protection when having sex with a partner who doesn't have genital herpes. It is not the same in this respect as having herpes on the face. Likewise, it is appropriate to disclose the herpes to a prospective partner. If that partner already has genital herpes, then it's less imprtant, since you can't spread it to someone who already has it.
Herpes doesn't mean the end of sexual contact. Get the counseling you need (about herpes and its implications) so you'll know what to worry about and what not to worry about.
Best.
Dr. Rockoff
You might also want to check on the type of test you had, if it was a Herpeselect IGG. Instead of the IGM.
Also check out the STD forum, there are lots of info posted there about transmission info, including drug treatment info and condom usage. Just to a search up top on a few of these topics.
All the best