Moderately atypical mole waiting results of likely a second atypical mole

Hello.  

age 31, fair, light eyes and hair.  Until recently all moles removed were benign until a small 2mm round brown mole on calf came back moderately atypical.  They re-excised with a 5mm punch.  A body check found another what is likely going to be atypical mole just like the first (2mm...) The dr said they were both "speckled looking". I am freaking out!

My question is... the took off 2nd mole more agressively so as to avoid further excision and hear clear borders. If it comes back with clear borders is that sufficient or should I persist that they perform another punch biopsy?

I have decided I will be followed by a 2nd group *2 sets of eyes. I asked them to remove 2 small (less than 2mm) slightly raised moles from one arm and two flat but smeared looking moles from my other arm.  This derm/dermapathologist/pathologist said he had looked at my first mole and it was a "tough one" He was not worried about those on my arms, but shaved them off.

Is this safe to do?   I understand they may grow back, so does that process increase the liklihood of developing cancer? I wan't comfortable with questionning him but now I wonder if I should've aksed that they remove the whole thing.

Should I be worried that if they too were atypical such cells would spread by shaving?

How worried should I be with at least 2 atypical moles? *Need to get a grip I know.... :(