mole 20 years enlarged

My husband -- who I have begged for years to go to dermatologist -- has has a mole since we've been married, 27 years.  It has grown from small to larger to now it is grown to the size (I'm not stretching it here) to the size of half dollar by shaped like football.  Not round.  It appears to have grown on a thicker stalk.  The past year it has grown larger, past four months -- he didn't tell me -- oh, it is below his hip bone.  The mole is on a thick stalk but the top of the mole appears floppy and looks like cauliflower.  It has dark specks in the mole as well.  Over the past three to four months, it has bled and has an extremely bad odor as it may be infected.  Without making a long story, I went to dermatologist for first time myself and have to have mohs surgery on fact.  But that's not what I'm asking here, by me going, it encouraged him to go.  We went to have biopsy, doc immediately said, he could not biopsy first, that it needed to be removed.  We have scheduled for procedure next week.  I am not scared about what this may or may not be, but is signs of it spreading -- well, what are the signs that melanoma (if melanoma) spreads.  He has complained of his back -- his bones in back (near the sight of mole) and a bad cough for past three months.  Has anyone every had a large mole from a thick stalk that grew.  My husband is trying to talk me out of taking him to have it removed.  He says if it is melanoma, then it will spread.  I am asking, does an enlarged mole on stalk every mean anything or is it just a growth?  Confused on listening to him or myself?  Please anyone with large mole experience, I would appreciate your advice.  

[BhumikaMD]

Hi,

Any change in a mole needs to be investigated further to rule out certain other conditions. These include changes in size, shape , colour , etc.

Moles, or nevi, are frequently removed for a variety of reasons. They can be removed by 2 surgical methods:

- Excision (cutting) with stitches: Click here to view step-by-step photos of this type of mole removal.
- Excision with cauterization (a tool is used to burn away the mole): Click here to view step-by-step photos of this type of mole removal.

Although laser has been tried for moles, it is not usually the method of choice for most deep moles because the laser light doesn't penetrate deeply enough.

Typically, the doctor or dermatologist (a skin specialist) may choose excision with or without stitches depending on the depth of the mole and the type of cosmetic outcome desired.

It would be advisable to consult a skin specialist for this and then decide the further plan of management.

Let us know if you need any other information.

Regards.

[kimreporter]

Thank you for your reply.  Just your opinion does this sound like a high possibility of melanoma?  I realize this is an unfair question and no one knows absolute until the biopsy is performed.  My husband keeps saying, he has always heard if it is melanoma that when touched or removed it would spread.  Well, I don't agree with him.  He is being very stubborn and I don't want to scare him, but I believe it is melanoma.  Any thoughts or feelings that this may be a melanoma sign?  thanks again for comments