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Is this midlife
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Is this midlife

My husband for the past couple years has started the silent treatment and stopped talking times up to a month at a time.  He turned 50 in August, Requested not to make a big deal about it.  I didn't.  Since then, he hasn't spoken to me.  Literally!  It is now November.  He comes home, eats and leaves the room.  We haven't had sex since July and that felt like he needed to beings it was our 25th anniversary.  He asked where I was taking him for our 25th.  I told him Colorado, he suggested the Ozarks with the kids.  I get the feeling he doesn't love me anymore.  He won't talk.  I have sent him text messages and emails and received nothing in reponse.  I don't know what to do.

Help!!
Tags: midlife, sex, Love
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134578_tn?1404951303
Not talking to you from August until November seems like a pretty extreme (and kind of stupid) form of marital treatment.  If he doesn't want to be married, he should just let you know so you can both move on.  Did he talk to your kids when you were in the Ozarks, or is he talking to nobody in the family?  I would almost wonder if he is having mental problems.  In the meantime, please see a therapist (yourself -- I assume he wouldn't go) and talk this over.
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134578_tn?1404951303
Not talking to you from August until November seems like a pretty extreme (and kind of stupid) form of marital treatment.  If he doesn't want to be married, he should just let you know so you can both move on.  Did he talk to your kids when you were in the Ozarks, or is he talking to nobody in the family?  I would almost wonder if he is having mental problems.  In the meantime, please see a therapist (yourself -- I assume he wouldn't go) and talk this over.
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973741_tn?1342346373
Oh I'm sorry.  I'm sure this makes you sad.  Ya know, I'd have him come home----  if you have kids at home, have them out of the house--  and just say "we need to talk".  Then ASK him what is going on.  You sense he isn't happy and that makes you sad.  Tell him how much you want 'in' and to feel connected and you want to do what it takes to make this work.  Then LISTEN.  Try to let him talk without jumping in or being defensive.  Just hear what he has to say.  If he seems open to working on things, you can suggest a marriage therapist.  You can also plan some things for the two of you to do that you know he enjoys to reconnect.

I do wish you luck and please let us know what happens.  
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973741_tn?1342346373
I do agree that your husband sounds depressed.  Perhaps you can include this into your discussion with him.  
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Avatar_m_tn
He will talk to our kids.  As a matter of fact when he wants to say something he'll call them by name then talks.  I even have texted him a seductive text and got no response.  I have tried to talk and he won't.  I have suggested therapy and he wont respond either.
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Avatar_m_tn
I was so angry!  He wanted to get his pilots license.  He did in December of last year which I was proud of him.  No he want to get an upgrade license and buy a plane.  I think we need to wait, but he went out and bought a share of a plane and I found out after the check cleared.  I was really pissed and so I exploded and he acted like "what"?  I asked him why he was so secretive and he acted like he didn't know what I was talking about.

Now I'm just numb and feel neglected.

I have one child in H.S who will be a senior next year.  I don't want to leave or divorce but I don't know how long I can take this!
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973741_tn?1342346373
Well, that IS frustrating when somone doesn't consult their partner before a big purchase like that.  Try talking to him as I suggested earlier.
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134578_tn?1404951303
Don't waste your time with "seductive texts;" this is not about sex.  It is about whether he is depressed, whether he is angry, whether he is nuts, or whether he is simply mentally out the door already.  Go to therapy, as I said, whether he goes or not, and talk to the therapist about what YOU intend to do.
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Avatar_m_tn
Lying in bed last night, I finally got up the nerve to ask what was wrong.  (It has always been hard for me to talk to him about this kind of stuff because he makes me feel foolish)  why we didn't talk anymore.  He said he didn't have anything to say to me.  That was it!  WOW!  

I don't think he'll go to therapy but I will consider it.

  He is an awesome dad and a great provider.  I love him dearly but I'm done!  I'll go along with his charades until my son is out of school.   I get so down at times mainly at night when I go to bed.  My mind won't shut off so I have been taking sleep aids.

Thanks for listening.
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