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Trouble in my relationship
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Trouble in my relationship

I got married on May 30 2012. I have been love with my husband since my college and after so many struggles and against my parents I came out of my home and married him. Am the only daughter of my family and somehow my love was more important to me that time and I came out of my home. We got register married with his parents help. Some how we started a living but now he has changed a lot. He used to be a short tempered person before also and even slapped me in the middle of a road in Chennai but then I was in love with him truely. But after marriage I realise he is not in true love and he argues for what ever I say. Even a single day doesnot end fully without fight. He even beats me and throws things on me. The worst part is I don't have anybody for me to even share this. My parents does not talk with me because I brought a big shame to them because I eloped from home. Daily I spend just crying. When I tell this to his mom she says I ll have to adjust... I am very depressed. I work in a reputed software concern and I cannot concentrate on the job or I am happy anyday. Pls help. I feel very depressed.
6 Comments Post a Comment
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134578_tn?1404951303
Your parents should help you, but if they will not, you will need to seek a separation or divorce.  What country are you in?
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Avatar_f_tn
i think you know that you shouldnt stay with him…This will only get worse… It wont be easy to leave but it will be harder to stay. There is no reason, no justification for hitting a woman… regardless of culture, age, relation, circumstance… anything. 100% unacceptable. Be brave, stay strong… dont compromise your self respect and self worth for him or anyone… at the end it is all we have left.
good luck
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Avatar_f_tn
I am so sorry he abuses you. Are you sure your parent's wouldn't be willing to talk with you? It is possible you will get a dose of "We told you so" but the love of a parent may come through and help you out. Love may be bigger than shame.

And the shame of divorce may be better than the reality of living with someone who abuses you. Because it won't get better. I don't know what country you are in so I don't know the feasibility of divorce. I just know that you deserve better than you are getting.
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393165_tn?1410266453
"Daily I spend just crying" now dear that is the line that drew me to yourself and my God you spend youd days just crying, I ask you quite straight forward why on earch are you staying with this man??? I mean COME ON for the love of God why are you even still there and please do not try and allow this in your life with materialistic excuses because you have just reached the first cry for help and please God this will be you last one before you can get yourself back on your feet, because trust me Ive been there been beaten by both parents and I tell ya it aint gonna get any better my love and so sorry for being so blunt and straight with ya but you need and have to get outa there pronto!!! ya hear!!!!! Sharon X
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Avatar_n_tn
Honey, I get the impression that u keep up with that cause you somehow feel there aren't any further options. Darling I suggest u to get in touch with ur innermost self and if u realize that this is not what u deserve (which indeed is a fact) ull get the strenght and courage to set things straight an move forward towards something brighter. U deserve it!!
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Avatar_f_tn
Get out before it's too late, don't waste any more time on him- I speak from experience, my stbx is also from Chennai with the I am the son and am entitled to be treated like I am a god and my wife is my servant ....

Explore avenues of doing so
A) ur parents first - at least tell them so if u walk out they don't hear it from someone else

B) ur wider family and friends - someone u can trust not to be on ur husbands side

C) in mncs they often have employee helplines - it is anonymous - u van call, get counselling for free for a few sessions....which will help u understand what to do next, leave, do couples counselling, etc....

D) read on the Internet, YouTube on emotional, physical abuse,, narcissism, etc to see what u should "adjust" to and what no

My personal opinion is they don't change, I wasted 10 years of my life, am in my mid 30s and left my ex in July.....unbelievable that I was stupid enough to fall for hismpublic charm and not see the manipulative, deceitful, emotional and physical abuser that hr is....

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