ok so heres my thing. My girlfriend and I broke up about 5 months ago. We have a 11 month old baby. after we broke up we were stilling seeing each other and messing around and getting along great again but then mothers day she wanted me to go to brunch with her and her family but i decided to go to my game instead which caused us to fight. then 3 weeks went passed with barley talking and i decided to go to her house and apologize and to try to work things out but she told me she was seeing someone. i tried to get her back for months after this and rcently i kind of just gave up and havent seen her in a month. my mother has been picking the baby up for me so i dont have to see her. for some reason she thinks i have a gf now and she keeps making comments about me being with my gf. shes the one that is seeing someone else and yet is concerned about me having a gf which i dont get. anyway i guess my question is will it actually work with this dude seeing she was trying to get me back a week before she started talking to this guy and is it worth trying to get her back again? i love her and my baby and all i want is to have our family back together. well thanks for your time
How old are the two of you? If you weren't willing to give up a game, what are you willing to give up to get along with her? That seems like a pretty low sacrifice threshhold.
One way to tell if a woman will get back together with you is to say "Will you marry me?" and mean it. Are you willing to make that kind of commitment? It will mean things like going to brunch with her family instead of to your game. If so, it's pretty simple to ask the question.
im 29 and shes 26. i bought a ring and still have it. Ive already tried to make everything right and she kept saying she wanted to see a change and i did change and we were doing things together like taking the baby to the boardwalk and to the aquarium and things like that. but it was so hard to keep doing that stuff knowing she was seeing someone else and seeing how good we were doing as a family and she wasnt willing to try to make it work. i told her i was 100 percent in for everything. she knows i bought her a ring. i just dont know what to do anymore. shes always still concerned on whats going on with me and any other girls or what im doing but yet shes seeing someone. and started seeing him very quickly after she begged me to get back together. im just so confused on what to do. i love her so much and also want me baby to grow up in a household with both her parents.
Too afraid to try for perfect happiness in life? :)
Probably all this time (during pregnancy and since then) she's been wondering if you would get off the dime and take a stand. Sitting on the fence can give you a sore butt. I don't see what is wrong with asking her.
The way you win if she is seeing someone else is to marry her out from under his nose. Skip the blaming that seems more appropriate to a high-schooler than a man of nearly 30, and decide if you love her enough to marry her. If a woman has been waiting for a man to act mature and take a stand, she will welcome a clear statement of intent, and a proposal of marriage could hardly be a clearer statement of intent. If she decides to say yes, guess what, she isn't going to see someone else any more! It sounds like you have been into playing games and hinting and only showing your hand so far without ever asking her to be your wife (even though she showed her interest so far as to have your baby, how many clues did you need that nine months? If I had had someone's baby and it didn't dawn on him to ask me to marry him, boy, I'd start looking around at other possibilities too.) Maybe you have just never really wanted to commit and so didn't want to say the "m" word. Just decide. Then if you really don't want to be married, or don't love her enough to marry her but do love the baby, then the two of you will simply need to get it together like the adults you chronologically are, and work out how you will be a dad in the life if the child you love.
i'm pretty sure she's still interested in you, or else, you two wouldn't have continued to mess around, even after breaking up. i'd say take a chance and pop the question, maybe that's all she's really waiting for, or else, why would she be making snide comments about a GF she probably knows doesn't exist. you never know until you try.
Not so sure you are ready for marriage if you dissed her and her family on Mother's Day of all days. I mean, you couldn't even sacrifice something small, i.e. a game. Come on.
I thought you were younger by the tone of your post.
I would just let her be and let her come to you if she wants you. Let her date. Perhaps she is not interested in getting back together. You have already tried. Why would she insist that you have a gf? That's strange. Is there a piece of your story missing?
Marriage shouldn't be entered in lightly. First see if you can re-establish a relationship.
You all definitely should try to maintain an amicable relationship for your child's sake married or not.
That is the whole story. she kept asking if ive been on any dates and i was truthful and said yes i been on a couple. and then she just assumed i had a gf. i actually didnt know what i wanted out of life but then it clicked one day and i am ready for marriage. i love her and we have a kid together and i know she loves me. and as for my kid she is my #1 priority. mostly the reason we are done is because i got layed off and was depressed and being stupid and going out 2 or 3 nights a week and getting ever drunk. but ive stopped drinking and now own my own business and i did all this to better my babys life and to have a family again. thats the story.
Well, sounds like you are making an effort for the good. Hopefully she will want the same. Maybe she needs this time to figure out what she wants as well. I would let her do that. Give her this time and see if she comes around. If she does, take things slow and see what happens. Time will tell.
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