One of two dogs dies, how to tell other one?

[ggreg]

We have two dogs and one is quite sick.  There is a chance she will have to be put down in a couple weeks, although we are hoping she will get better.  The question I have is, since these two dogs have been companions for more than ten years, if we have to let one go, is there some way to let the other dog know what happened?  Normally when we lose a dog, we have them put down at the vet's office, and then bring them home and bury them in the yard.  But we have the two dogs now, and I'm worried if he'll wonder where his companion went.  If anyone else has had experience with this, I'd really like some feedback.

She has pancreatitis, I began a thread recently concerning that, and she spent this past week in the vet hospital getting nutrients only by I.V. and nothing by mouth, in an effort to rest the pancreas, and she's coming home this afternoon.  She may get well and have no more problems, or there's this chance she may go downhill again and the end will be near.  Anyhow, while she's been out of the house this workweek at the hospital, the other dog sensed we were emotional the first day, on account of we don't like her being away at the vet hospital, so he stayed close to us.  But he has adjusted to her not being here very well.  We're thinking if we eventually have to put her down, he will adjust again the same way.

But there is some doubt in my mind about that, if she's put down at the vet office, and then brought home to be buried, normally we would just bury her fairly quickly without bringing her into the house.  But we're wondering if we should let our other dog see that she has passed before we bury her.  We could even bring her up on the porch and let the other dog see that she's died.  We're also considering the idea of having the vet put her down here at the house, so the other dog can see what happens.  Those alternatives sound rather gruesome, compared to just not bothering the other dog with the whole thing.  But for anyone who has indoor pets and has observed how the other dogs do when one goes like that, we'd like to know your thoughts.  We are leaning towards the usual way of doing things, having her put down and bury her when we get home, and not expose our other dog to anything relating to her death.

I'm just not sure, so I would so appreciate feedback from anyone else who has gone thru this, who keeps two or more dogs as pets in the home and has had a similar experience with one dying.  How did the other dog do, not knowing?  Or did you let them know somehow?  Thank you guys SO much.  GG

[lindapalm]

I'm so sorry about your dog, he is so young.  I know how hard it is to get a very sick dog to eat, after awhile you run out of options.  If it was me, I would not take my other dog with me to the vet.  It will make it harder on you, and the more upset your are your other dog will pick up on it, and she will be upset.  It will be a vicious circle. She is pretty old herself, and I wouldn't upset her anymore than necessary.  Afterwards, you will have to keep her constantly occupied for awhile.  She'll still know somethings wrong, but being busy will help.  This is just the way I would do it, Good Luck with whatever you decide, keep telling yourself you are making the right decision, because you are, you have tried EVERYTHING possible.  I hope you find some peace of mind knowing that you gave it your best shot.

[Wheels3131]

I am currently struggling with the decision if my almost 12 year old female should be present when her little (big) brother moves on to his new life.  I found this forum and have read all the comments/suggestions.   It is nice to see I am not alone in my struggle.
Unfortunately my 4 year old male (just turned 4 first week in February) was diagnosed with kidney failure 10 months ago.  He has been a miracle in the eyes of his Vet and the Vet techs remaining active and happy for this amount of time.  He has been to specialist and had every test known to mankind completed to determine why at this young age he has this disease.  Nothing was determined he has been on prescription diet and several medications.   The past month gettiing him to eat has been a struggle he is now served whatever he will eat.  I prepare many different foods until I find the one that sparks his interest.   Unfortunately, he has taken a turn for the worse the past week.   It is time.....as difficult as it is to face when he is so young....today I scheduled his passing for next week.  
Now I am facing.....do I bring his sister to the appointment.  They are extremely close at each other side since the day I brought the male home as a 8 week old puppy.   As I write this they are cuddled up next to each other as tight as they possible can.  
The comment about bringing the dog in to the room after the procedure seems like it may be a reasonable way to handle this situation.  But the comments about the connection to loss at the Vet and future visits concerns me.  
If only I had a crystal ball to tell me this is definately the right time for my 4 year old to move on and what I should do for my 12 year old.  Extremely sad to loose a young dog  who is loved by everyone he meets even though he is a big boy with a big head that could scare you but he is such a love bug he wins hearts.  

[rottlvr]

It's been a few months since your last post, so hopefully all is going good and both dogs are in good health. I just wanted to share my experience with you. I had an 8 yr. old Rottweiler that I had to suddenly put down due to cancer. She grew up with her best bud, a chocolate lab. When I brought them together the Rott. was 3 months and the Lab was 1 yr old. They played, fought and protected each other like they were brother and sister. Putting Ari down was the hardest thing I ever had to do. She was my baby girl. Needless to say, Dexter (the lab.) took it very hard. The had their own bedroom, and shared a daybed for sleeping. Dexter would sulk in his room alot or come up on the couch by me and just lay. His arthritis seemed to be getting alot worse, and more medical problems kept coming up. He seemed to age 10 yrs. in 3 weeks.  All I could do for him was console him and let him know I was there for him (as he was for me). I cried on his shoulder (literally) and hugged him alot. After a year had gone by I was contemplating getting a new dog.  Long story short, I ended up adopting a 6 yr. old Rottweiler and it was the best thing I did for Dexter. I had my concerns. I didn't want Dexter to feel left out, or that this new dog was taking over. They are both males, so they had their squabbles in the beginning. Dexter had to show Romeo (the new Rott.) who was boss and how things were done around here. They've been together a little over a year now, and Dexter is fibrant and energetic and gets out and plays. He doesn't have the same chemistry he had with Ari (he seems to think Romeo should know when it's time to swap bones) but I didn't expect that. At first, Dexter would "smile" (not really) at Romeo, but now he actually grabs the other end of the rope that Romeo has and pulls.
So, I guess the moral of the story is....dogs need to grieve just like people do. Losing a member of the family is going to be hard on everyone, including the other dog. If you're thinking of getting another one, don't rush it. Let the dog tell you when he's ready to accept a new member of the family into the house.
Thanks for letting me share.

[deasn79]

I have had two dogs well since they were born 11 + years ago.  They have always been together.  One died 2 weeks ago while we were on our way back home from Thanksgiving.  The other has gone downhill so fast despite us giving her more attention, special food etc.  I have never seen anything like this before.  She must be grieving the loss of companion and brother.  I fear I will soon lose her and will be taking her to the vet but I don't know what will happen.

[deasn79]

I have had two dogs well since they were born 11 + years ago.  They have always been together.  One died 2 weeks ago while we were on our way back home from Thanksgiving.  The other has gone downhill so fast despite us giving her more attention, special food etc.  I have never seen anything like this before.  She must be grieving the loss of companion and brother.  I fear I will soon lose her and will be taking her to the vet but I don't know what will happen.

[lindapalm]

I'm so sorry about your dog, its heartbreaking to try to get through it.  Your other dog will probably act strange for quite awhile, ours did.  She followed us aroung and had to be near us constantly, and even though she didn't particularly like our other dog, she seemed lost without her.  I guess all you can do is give him  more love and attention, while he is adjusting.  Lacey was a very lucky dog to be so well loved and taken care of.