Aa
Can't get it right
After 8 years of both anorexia and bulimia being a CONSTANT thing in my everyday life my body seems to have completely turned on me. For one thing, I can not lose weight like I used to anymore, no matter how little I eat and how much I exercise the pounds do not drop the way they used to - and that should be fine since I am seeking to find a healthy way of living, and the weight I am at is on the low end of healthy, but of course it's not really...basically I just don't understand it. I'm stuck a weight that I was at when I first noticed that I eat differently then my peers, my "beginning anorexia weight" if you will. And plus, when I eat "normally" I gain weight even though I live an active lifestyle. Anyone else have this problem?
Another thing I really notice is that if my food plan for the day gets messed up in any way (for example, I'm unable to measure my food or an item I am shopping for is unavailable in the store) I just say f*ck it and binge. Why do I have to dwell on the little details? Surely I'm rational enough to know an extra ten calories that was unplanned is better than a 10000 calorie binge (like what happened tonight). Why can't I just wake up normal?
Another thing I really notice is that if my food plan for the day gets messed up in any way (for example, I'm unable to measure my food or an item I am shopping for is unavailable in the store) I just say f*ck it and binge. Why do I have to dwell on the little details? Surely I'm rational enough to know an extra ten calories that was unplanned is better than a 10000 calorie binge (like what happened tonight). Why can't I just wake up normal?
i comletley understand where you both are coming from , iv had ed for 13yrs i got better for a brief time 9 months to be exact i had a beautiful baby boy i love him hes my angel but i felt like he took my amazing body and replaced it with a big fat ugly one, that thought alone beckened my annoying friend ed back and he's been in contro since i hate him i wish hed shut up and let me be but thats not his way. i recently saw a pic of myself from when i was really sick i weighed 79 pounds and i my head i know thats a very low weight im 5 6 but i loked at this pic and thought i was fat and discusting. i weigh 109 now and i feel like a cow everyday i wake up wanting to be normal eat cake if i want OR any other of my h*ll no foods i stay away from . the other girl is right about your body storing food you just have to give it some time to normalize. you could also go to the doc and have blood work done to check yur thyroid sometimes this get thrown of by ed it can cuse yu to gain weight or not be able to lose weight. you could also try acai berries they tatste good and are a good way to boost your matablism. in the morning look in the mirror and say out loud 5 things you love about yourself you just might be shocked to see that in a weird way it helps its a bit empowering!!!! i wish i could say tommorrow will be an amazing day for you but it may not be you just have to be stronger than ed yell at him tell him to go away and maybe oneday he will until then stay strong and if you need someone to talk to im here just send me a msg and ill respond:)
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As for the weight fluctuations, it is just your body's means of survival. It is scared it will be starved again and thus conserves the calories it can when it gets them. Your body didn't know before-- that's why it was no easy to lose the weight in the beginning. But it has a memory and is only doing what it can to keep you from falling under again. I know you're worried you'll keep climbing, but trust me, it is not possible to continue gaining weight so long as you are exercising. (One exception is medication such as some antidepressants, which put unnatural chemicals into the body and confuses the biology of it.) Your body CAN and WILL re-learn to metabolize its calories efficiently without you having to "work it off" so to speak. The best way to let it know that it doesn't have to hold onto calories is by feeding it small but frequent meals. Eat things you won't feel guilty about-- fresh fruits and veggies and lean protein. It's the guilt thats driving you to binge when you don't "follow the plan," and its the uber-strict plan that sets you up for guilt! Take it easy on yourself. Relax knowing that you can have exactly as you want-- a lean, fit, healthy (and fed!) body. You really can have it all.
All the best.