help please

[sacnite73]

I  don't consider myself as anorexic but my doctor yes and teachers at school look at me everytime they see that I don't eat. They asked me why I don't eat and I keep telling them that I already ate but it seems that they doesn't believe me.
Also, they ask everytime how I feel and that there are worried about me because I'm sad. I feel much better than other years. Even if I don't eat much as other years i feel better and better. They can't force me to eat if I'm not hungry! Who does that? I'm sure that if they aren't hungry they don't eat.
I forgot to tell that I'm a ballet dancer and even if at my ballet school there isn't any pressure to be thin I need to loose weight. A balletdancer has to be thin and i'm to fat for this. They've told me I've lost a lot of weight but I don't see it!! I want to see my bones and not only fat.
I hate that teachers worried and that they keep looking at me when i don't eat.
What can I do??

[Patricia Pitts, PhD]

It sounds like you want to be in charge of you!  And that it feels as if everyone around you is not letting you do what you want to do.  When I was anorexic in my teens, I felt very similar.  I also did not see in the mirror what everyone else did.  I know now that the lower my body weight got, the more distorted my thinking became.  And that the wisdom of my body had to shut down as many functions as possible, so I could survive ~ stay alive.  It was only in nurturing my mind, body and spirit did I get closer to knowing myself and being in charge of my life.  So perhaps what you see and believe is not what others see and believe.  When so many others are seeing things similar, the odds are high that their reality is more accurate then your own.  I believe people close to you care about you deeply; and that they are saying what your healthier, nourish self would say.  It is not about food, weight and appearance.   And getting physically nurtured is the road back to self and a fulfilled life.  My wish for you is to trust and dare to let others support you were you can gain control of your life and live your dreams!  For more information on anorexia, feel free to visit the bella vita website.  Kindly, Patricia Pitts, PhD  The Bella Vita  Los Angeles, CA

[sacnite73]

Patricia, sorry it's me again. Is there some way to contact you per email or something?? What I told you yesterday it's not like this anymore. Things changed from one minute to another. I'm not getting into treatment and my parents don't understand this. They think that my case is something preventing and there are looking for help but preventive help not really help.
But ok. Smile to life and hide all this is something in what i'm good at so i guess i will continuing to use this and well...

[sacnite73]

Hi, thank you so much for writing to me. Well, I'm on vacations now and it's kind of complicated with my parents. I can't tolerate to see and hear when they're chew and it makes me nervous and I can't tolerate it. My ballet studio is on vacations now and I try to train at home. It's been.. I don't know how to explain it, but I've been very weak the first week of July. Now I'm better. I told my mother that I want help and they are looking for some clinic or hospital to go after school and so.. What worries me about that is that I don't want to go after school every afternoon to a clinic or hospital or whatever it is. I've got 3 days a week ballet and one day atlethics and I won't give it up. I'm afraid that they force me to not go to ballet any more or only one day a week and I can't even think about it. Ballet is my life and they can't take this away from me. I don't know. I was looking for some ballerina diets on the internet to stay strong but loose weight.

Thanks

[Patricia Pitts, PhD]

Hi ~ I have been thinking about you and wondering how you are doing?  Are things about the same?  Different?  In what way?  Kindly, Patricia Pitts, PhD