Support?

*long, but would really appreciate responses*

So...
My cousin has offered me a temporary babysitting job to look after her kids. One is 1, one is 3. Both are quite playful and active, and require a lot of attention, obviously.

I had them for a little bit today and I felt quite exhilarated, dizzy, weak, and physically poorly.

I have been poorly for more than half a year, (possible CFS-Chronic Fatigue Syndrome), and I take Tramadol(narcotic-like painkiller) and sometimes paracetamol for the pain, so beside that, I am poorly anyway.

However, I don't eat nearly enough, and this is not helping my state at all, both physically and mentally. It is quite hard to eat though, not just because of my ED, but because of being so poorly.

But, I do need to start eating more, and get as much strength up as I can if I want to look after these adorable children, not only will it put my safety in danger like it has done, but it'll put theirs in danger, too. So, little do they know, they are instrumental in my recovery, as well as my cousin for even opening this door.

I'm also going to be going to college for a 6 week trial placement in September, and if I want to do that(which I don't want to, I wanted to take a year off to sort my health out, both mentally and physically, but my mother isn't giving me much choice on this one), I need to eat much more than I am to gain the strength I need to go.

I do realize this will take a lot of work on my part, and it'll take a while as I need to increase my intake gradually, and there will be many changes involved, I do need to push this recovery further though, as I've been slipping back into old ways, and I need to realize that I can't live like this anymore... because it's no way to live, it's a way to die...

I would really appreciate support. If anyone could offer that, please do message me and we could go from there.

I am also seeing my psych, which some of you know, and I've filled in an ED questionnaire, she also wants me to be weighed weekly, and to increase my intake anyway. I'll also be seeing someone about it, too. I see my psych in a week and a bit, so I'll be able to discuss this with her as well.

I'm frightened about this, and very unsure, but I know this has to be done if I even want to do this job...

I'm sorry this is so long, got a lot to type about!

So I'd appreciate any support, hugs, advice that is given.

Thank you!
<3

[livelaughlove88]

Hi :) I know our situations are really different (I'm trying to overcome my three year battle with bulimia) but I would love to be supportive of you if I can! I definitely need support to get through my issues too. I struggled with anorexia from ages 11-14, and then developed bulimia when I went off to boarding school. I ate in front of teachers to hide my disorder and then threw up so that I wouldn't gain weight. Soon after, my behaviors spiralled out of control. I've been fighting for a normal relationship with food ever since. My mother, therapist, and doctor all know about my bulimia...but most of my friends have NO CLUE. It would be nice to have someone to relate to....
     ***hug***
-E

[PuppyPup]

Hi there, I've accepted your friend request, hope to speak to you soon!

[livelaughlove88]

Do you have AIM? If you do, my sn is HIimWONDERLAND99 :)

[PuppyPup]

I do but I don't have the application on here, I'm on my old PC, I have MSN though.