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Anxiety and Depression Caused by ED?
Hi everyone,
After googling so many things i thought i would post to try and get some thoughts and advice on how I am feeling.
To give you all some background I am 25, I lost my job sometime ago, my girlfriend and I split up and I moved house as I had run out of money from being jobless all in the space of a few months.
A few months later things started to get better i got a new job, found somewhere to live and things are going well with my new girlfriend so I want to question why am I depressed and anxious NOW?
A few months ago I started seeing a new girl and she is amazing. However this is where I think my issues of self worth started. I have only had a few sexual partners which have all been long term girlfriends, the first time my new girlfriend and I slept together I had, had a few drinks so I felt more relaxed and things kind of just happened and it was great. However the next day when we went to sleep together I was so nervous as I know she is more experienced than me. When I went to have sex with her i was so nervous I had hot flashes and although I was hard I started to lose my erection so panicked so hiding this from her I brought her to orgasm another way.
Anyway, since this moment I feel as though my masculinity has been effected and I have lost all my self esteem. It has made me feel like less of a man and has massively effected my confidence around others. I also feel some what intimidated by other guys my age, who are in better shape than me or who look successful. What is that about?! It even makes me feel uncomfortable when with my mates all together having a laugh about girls etc as I feel ashamed of myself.
I don’t know whether the intimidation is because I used to go to the gym a lot and was in the best shape i have been in and then when my membership stopped I haven’t been in a few months and I used to love it. So i am not feeling as confident about myself that way. But still it shouldn’t make me feel so crap? Can stopping exercising after gyming 3 or 4 times a week with weights have so much of an effect?
I have had days where me and my girlfriend have had lots of sex 4 or 5 times in a day and its all fine but when im apart from her I worry and question myself because of that one time worrying it is going to happen again. I have had sex with her and it is great and it hasn’t happened since, the few minutes after is when I feel at my happiest out of my life at the moment and then it goes away again to this kind of grey distant feeling. However I am still worried about it happening which makes me worried about changing positions etc with her. When I have an erection with her this is when I feel like me again, I feel confident in myself.
I think it could also be worth mentioning that since I was about 12/13 I have used porn constantly to masturbate almost daily even when I have had girlfriends and when I was jobless I used to masturbate 3 or 4 times a day. Now when I try because I have worries about getting a hard erection I never get fully erect when trying and this makes me feel ashamed, embarrassed and less of a man. Please help, I feel so alone in it and couldn’t tell any of my friends or family. Could I be addicted to porn/masturbation too?
Since my confidence has gone so has my libido, I only really get horny because of my girlfriend from dirty talking on the phone or fantasising or with her. When im with her I get so many erections but I still worry they will go softer when we have sex. Surely this is a vicious cycle and I shouldn’t think this way? I used to get erections just from looking at an attractive girl, but now this is rare and I think in my head negative thoughts like even if I was single I probably wouldn’t be able to get it up etc. Which is an example of the negative thoughts in my head making me feel worthless even thought they are probably complete rubbish.
In general I feel so detached from everything in my life I used to love and get excited by, my enthusiasm has gone and I shut myself away from everyone. The only time I feel somewhat comfortable is when I am in my house in my room but even then some programs etc make me anxious which is just weird isn’t it?!
I have recently been put on zoloft but after a few weeks it doesn’t appear to be helping yet. I feel happier than i did a few weeks ago but i have good days and bad days. Does anyone know how long it takes to work? I also worry about taking zooloft that it could give me sexual side effects like some people say.
One of the things that is still effecting me most is my confidence. I used to be so confident but now I seem to have lost it, i notice myself looking at the floor rather than at people and also i look around at everybody around me. Is this normal?!
All advice and help is welcome as currently I feel like my thoughts are irrational but its like there are two sides in my head fighting and it makes it so hard to concentrate and makes me really snappy with people who really don’t deserve it.
Whilst I’m feeling a bit better day by day now I really want my anxiety to go away, as although im feeling better now a few weeks ago I was waking up to thoughts of “if I wake up like this everyday I don’t want to wake up anymore” etc.
All I want is to feel like myself again, how long should this take!?
After googling so many things i thought i would post to try and get some thoughts and advice on how I am feeling.
To give you all some background I am 25, I lost my job sometime ago, my girlfriend and I split up and I moved house as I had run out of money from being jobless all in the space of a few months.
A few months later things started to get better i got a new job, found somewhere to live and things are going well with my new girlfriend so I want to question why am I depressed and anxious NOW?
A few months ago I started seeing a new girl and she is amazing. However this is where I think my issues of self worth started. I have only had a few sexual partners which have all been long term girlfriends, the first time my new girlfriend and I slept together I had, had a few drinks so I felt more relaxed and things kind of just happened and it was great. However the next day when we went to sleep together I was so nervous as I know she is more experienced than me. When I went to have sex with her i was so nervous I had hot flashes and although I was hard I started to lose my erection so panicked so hiding this from her I brought her to orgasm another way.
Anyway, since this moment I feel as though my masculinity has been effected and I have lost all my self esteem. It has made me feel like less of a man and has massively effected my confidence around others. I also feel some what intimidated by other guys my age, who are in better shape than me or who look successful. What is that about?! It even makes me feel uncomfortable when with my mates all together having a laugh about girls etc as I feel ashamed of myself.
I don’t know whether the intimidation is because I used to go to the gym a lot and was in the best shape i have been in and then when my membership stopped I haven’t been in a few months and I used to love it. So i am not feeling as confident about myself that way. But still it shouldn’t make me feel so crap? Can stopping exercising after gyming 3 or 4 times a week with weights have so much of an effect?
I have had days where me and my girlfriend have had lots of sex 4 or 5 times in a day and its all fine but when im apart from her I worry and question myself because of that one time worrying it is going to happen again. I have had sex with her and it is great and it hasn’t happened since, the few minutes after is when I feel at my happiest out of my life at the moment and then it goes away again to this kind of grey distant feeling. However I am still worried about it happening which makes me worried about changing positions etc with her. When I have an erection with her this is when I feel like me again, I feel confident in myself.
I think it could also be worth mentioning that since I was about 12/13 I have used porn constantly to masturbate almost daily even when I have had girlfriends and when I was jobless I used to masturbate 3 or 4 times a day. Now when I try because I have worries about getting a hard erection I never get fully erect when trying and this makes me feel ashamed, embarrassed and less of a man. Please help, I feel so alone in it and couldn’t tell any of my friends or family. Could I be addicted to porn/masturbation too?
Since my confidence has gone so has my libido, I only really get horny because of my girlfriend from dirty talking on the phone or fantasising or with her. When im with her I get so many erections but I still worry they will go softer when we have sex. Surely this is a vicious cycle and I shouldn’t think this way? I used to get erections just from looking at an attractive girl, but now this is rare and I think in my head negative thoughts like even if I was single I probably wouldn’t be able to get it up etc. Which is an example of the negative thoughts in my head making me feel worthless even thought they are probably complete rubbish.
In general I feel so detached from everything in my life I used to love and get excited by, my enthusiasm has gone and I shut myself away from everyone. The only time I feel somewhat comfortable is when I am in my house in my room but even then some programs etc make me anxious which is just weird isn’t it?!
I have recently been put on zoloft but after a few weeks it doesn’t appear to be helping yet. I feel happier than i did a few weeks ago but i have good days and bad days. Does anyone know how long it takes to work? I also worry about taking zooloft that it could give me sexual side effects like some people say.
One of the things that is still effecting me most is my confidence. I used to be so confident but now I seem to have lost it, i notice myself looking at the floor rather than at people and also i look around at everybody around me. Is this normal?!
All advice and help is welcome as currently I feel like my thoughts are irrational but its like there are two sides in my head fighting and it makes it so hard to concentrate and makes me really snappy with people who really don’t deserve it.
Whilst I’m feeling a bit better day by day now I really want my anxiety to go away, as although im feeling better now a few weeks ago I was waking up to thoughts of “if I wake up like this everyday I don’t want to wake up anymore” etc.
All I want is to feel like myself again, how long should this take!?
Hi, when I read through your letter, it shouts I'm the problem here, why, look you are getting sex 4 to 5 times a day, you are getting erections when with your girlfreind or sorry lots of erections, so you did not manage it once, but you still pleased your girlfriend.
If each man who reads the letter, will come back and say hay that was me, we have all gone down that road of not getting an erection, so the problem is you, just for this happening once.
I think its about time you put this to the back of your head and just get on with life, and next time you are with your mates tell them what great sex you are having, then go off and get your girlfriwnd and have some great sex.
But keep away from porn, keep of drugs, and keep to a healthy life style, exercise daily with walking, some jogging, swimming and use some weight training to boast your testostrone.
If each man who reads the letter, will come back and say hay that was me, we have all gone down that road of not getting an erection, so the problem is you, just for this happening once.
I think its about time you put this to the back of your head and just get on with life, and next time you are with your mates tell them what great sex you are having, then go off and get your girlfriwnd and have some great sex.
But keep away from porn, keep of drugs, and keep to a healthy life style, exercise daily with walking, some jogging, swimming and use some weight training to boast your testostrone.
Certainly too much porn can desensitize the brain (not the penis) and cause or contribute to ED. As I told leftyguitar, one of the first signs id copulatory impotence, yet being able to masturbate to porn. As this develops, and continues to get worse, the anxiety of failing in bed gets mixed up with the porn-induced desensitization. This is a silent epidemic.
Check out this thread with lots of guys who have porn-induced ED. Read the stories.
You can find my first few posts if you want to truly understand all about it. Not selling anything. Just trying to get the word out as so many mjen are suffereing
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Mens-Health/22-with-porn-inducederectiledysfunction/show/469209?page=1
GOOGLE "VIDEO" - erectile dysfunction and porn - watch the video series. Educate yourself.
Check out this thread with lots of guys who have porn-induced ED. Read the stories.
You can find my first few posts if you want to truly understand all about it. Not selling anything. Just trying to get the word out as so many mjen are suffereing
http://www.medhelp.org/posts/Mens-Health/22-with-porn-inducederectiledysfunction/show/469209?page=1
GOOGLE "VIDEO" - erectile dysfunction and porn - watch the video series. Educate yourself.
I'm having the same problem regarding Masturbation and Porn. I can obtain an erection just fine when masturbating, but when my wife and I have sex, I cant maintain an erection for very long. It goes soft about 30 seconds after penetration. I'm just wondering if getting used to that kind of stimulation can interfere with real life sex. My sex drive is way higher then my wives so it's not enough to re-learn how to function correctly..
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