Erection not hard enough, trouble penetrating

I am a 34 year old male in good health.  I was overweight until recently.  I was very shy, and have only had sex a handful of times.  I lost my virginity at age 29.  Now that  lost weight, my confidence is much higher, and am getting attention from beautiful women along with chances to sleep with them.  Here's my problem.  I get anxious about sex, and have trouble staying hard and hard enough to penetrate, even with the use of pills.  I know that definatly part of the problem is in my head.   But looking back,  I have never really had those rock hard erections guys talk about, and I lose erections quickly without stimulation even when masturbating alone and relaxed.  I feel like my erections arent as hard as they should be.  I do masturbate regularly. I have an appointment with a urologist soon to check. And am gonna seek a therapist or psychologist too.  Any advice on how I can lower my anxiety and relax about sex?  And how to achieve harder erections?  Any advice is appreciated.  

[NOHARD]

Hi Woody, Ok anxiety, google this, natural ways to clear anxiety, lots of help.
You say you masturbate but is this over masturbating? if so then cut right back to just a couple of times a week, but if its a bigger problem then you need to do an 8 week sabbatical, and this will give your body time to reboot.
If you dont think its that then I have a herb list you could try.
Please come back.

[ravenswood]

I masturbate a few times a week.  When I do it I stroke it very quickly.  Without stimulation my erection dies very quickly.

[NOHARD]

Hi Woody, Then its time to stop masturbating take the 8 week sabatical from masturbating and any forms of sexual contact, this should reboot your body and let it heal from all the masturbating that you have been doing, see what is done by the hand is remembered by the brain.
Now you hardest part is telling your g/f, first why and what its through, its best if you put your cards on the table and tell the truth, because you will need her help to get through this 8 weeks, when you have done the 8 weeks come back and tell me how you are now.
Good Luck

[ravenswood]

Thanks for the help.  I'm going to do the 8 weeks.  After that,  any ideas on overcoming my performance anxiety?  Thanks.