Fertility / Infertility / IVF Community
Where's my cycle buddies? :)
About This Community:

This patient support community is for discussions relating to genetic testing, in-vitro fertilization (IVF), ovulation, pregnancy reduction post-IVF, relationship issues, and sperm count and quality.

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Have you gotten an +opt.  I have an appointment tommorrow to see if I have any follicles.  
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Journey - good luck with your appointment tomorrow!  Glad you have joined us.  Many of us have been ttc for a long time also.  I will be ttc for 3 years next month.  I did 6 rounds of clomid and 1 round of injections w iui.  This cycle has been almost natural (I just did a trigger shot on cd19) and I am now 12dpo / cd30 (I think).  I feel like af is on her way and will do my 2nd round of iui next cycle.  Hope you have some good follies!  We get really excited about good follies! :)

Welcome Irish741!  Good luck to you this cycle.  I've always wanted to visit Ireland...I heard it is absolutely beautiful!

Leighanne - good luck with your next beta!  I'm sure not feeling well is a good sign because your hcg levels are probably shooting up and that apparently makes you feel sick.  So, enjoy your sickness! :)  

Babynr - good luck with your beta also!


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Journey741 - I just got a positive opk last night (I think...it was considerably darker than the days preceding). I am going to test again this evening after work to make sure. Either way, DH and I BD last night and will do so again tonight just in case.

Stacey1718 - Thanks for the welcome. :) I would love to go to Ireland someday too....my screen name is just a ancestry link. I've been doing my family tree recently and found much information on long ago relatives from across the pond. Would love to go there and meet relatives first hand.

SSBD to all of us!!!
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luckily i do not have to do another beta for a little bit.  my levels more than doubled on 4 occasions.  i am now awaiting an ultrasound on 7/2.  yes i am hoping that the sickness is the levels still rising and a healthy pregnancy forming cause i did not get these feelings this early my last 2 times.  the always tired and the fact that i always feel like i have a belly ache and am going to be sick is hopefully a good sign.
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Irish - that is so funny.  I saw you were from Dublin too so assumed it was Dublin Ireland.  I also have some Irish blood.  It would be very interesting to trace back!

I'm out this cycle!
Af just showed up!  I was not expecting her so soon but won't complain. I will consider tomorrow as cd1 and will go to the clinic on Thursday for u/s and get my supply of injections if all looks good.  It's good timing because this weekend is a long weekend for Canada Day :) and if I didn't get in this week I probably would have had to wait until Wednesday next week...so I am happy about that! (if I can be happy about af!!!)
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Count me in Stacey. AF showed her ugly face with a very bad cramp today. I am really sick and threw up twice already. The longer you wait and get AF, the worse the effects are. I had a broken heart when I saw her in the morning. Now i'm a bit recovered and in a better mood. DH was very supportive and put be back to normal. I will be starting my second Clomid cycle by Wednesday/Thursday I guess and go for u/s on CD10 to check my follies. Think I will have a long weekend IUI, this month. My B'day is this Friday and I am not that lucky this time.

Welcome Irish741 and Journey741.
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Thanks for the welcome Vortex1. :)

Sorry to hear about AF for you ladies. What a bummer. Sounds like you are in as good as spirits as you possibly can be at this juncture. I know the feeling. It seems like the day AF arrives the world is going to end...but by the next day I am back and running waiting for the BD to begin again.

I have to say, this site has been very helpful to me these past couple of months. :)
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Welcome Irish and Journey!

Vortex1: Sorry about that ugly lady coming.  I am expecting mine later this week.

Stacey:  I am doing ok.  Trying to stay positive after the IUI mess and playing the waiting game for the IVF.  I started reading a book about it last night, which was a bit of a mistake b/c I focused on the negative - I am pretty angry - which is hard on DH and me and I need to let go of THAT and get positive.  It is a process.   Sorry to be down.  Thank you for asking.  I will send karma for you on the IUI.  The really nice part of that process is seeing those follies ;-)

Leighanne: good signs!  How exciting that the due dates are closer.  

Have a good tuesday everyone.  DH and I are getting ready to leave for work - trying to save money on gas and taking the train into work!  
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I just reread the posts . . . sorry I missed the appearance of AF.  That *****.  I will likely be joining later this week. ;-)  Moving forward (my new mantra).

Mommyin09: Hope the fishing was fun!  It sounds like you had an awesome day planned!
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Good morning ladies!  

Sorry I haven't been around much the past few days.  DH and I have been so busy.  We've been looking to buy a new house for a while and one went on the market in our town over the weekend, so we're going for a second look today and agonizing over what to do!  I'm going to take a few minutes to catch up on everything that's going on and then I'll be back!  As for me, 5 dpo today, so still got a ways to go!
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Stacey - So sorry about AF.  I know how you feel, you go through the cycle feeling so hopeful and then you get towards the end and start dreading the disappointment.  At least you can get hopeful again now that you'll be doing IUI.  Let's hope that is the magic potion for you!

luvkayln - I agree, I don't really understand why you would need the dye test again.  I know some people do get pregnant after having that because they say it "cleans out the cobwebs" so to speak, but in it's not really supposed to be used as a treatment for anything.  I'm sorry to hear that your insurance doesn't cover anything for you.  If I went to an RE, I'd be in the same boat.  I just don't understand how it pays for all kinds of things, but not infertility.  It's rediculous.  Good luck with the clomid.  It does work for you, so all we need is for one of those little guys to find his way to those nice eggs!

dnikki - Wow, you've really been through the wringer lately.  I hope things slow down for you and your family.  Take care.

Arlotheslug - How are you?  I'm sure reading up on IVF can get pretty overwhelming, but I've seen a lot of others on this forum that have gone through it, so I'm sure you'll be able to find out anything you need.  Just try to stick to reliable sources and stay away from the internet!  It's way to scary when you get out there and start reading all the negatives.  Have faith that you'll be OK and you will.

vortex - So sorry about AF.  I'm glad that you're DH is so supportive and made you feel better.  I don't know what we'd do without our big strong guys!  Take care.
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OK, last post, I promise!  Just wanted to give a big WELCOME to our new friends, journey and Irish!

Irish - Congrats on your +OPK.  That's great news!  Enjoy the BD.  :)

Journey - Good luck with your ultrasound today.  Hope you see some nice big follies!
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Don't know what happened to my post last night.  Got home from my daughter's grad at 10:30 and posted my Beta....which I guess is now in Cyberspace :).  Anyways....drum roll please... Beta was a wopping 1084!  That was 15 day post transfer or 17 day post ovulation.  They're repeating it wednesday...they said they'll do an early US re: multiples at about 7 weeks, I'm 4 weeks 4 days.  I''m definitely PREGNANT!!  Once again thanks for all your encouragement ladies...what a bunch!

Leighanne yes we're 2 days apart...my  due date is feb 26/09....I'll have a C/S as I had 2 previous so I can't labour again, so they'll do it at about 38-39 weeks.  Un less of course there's 2 then they'll c/s when I start labour which is usually earlier.

I'll  definitely be the new gossip topic at work...I'm a neonatal intensive care nurse and know all the risks of advanced maternal age...multiples etc.  Everyone will think I'm nuts!  Won't be able to keep it quiet as I'll have to have other people hold for my x-rays...we do lots on premies when they're ventilated....oh well bring on the gossip.  Have to run to the car dealership....will post more later.   :)

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babynr: WOW!! Congrats - WOO HOOOO :) I'm sooo happy for you!!!

Vortex and Irish: Welcome!! We have a bunch of great ladies on here and hopefully you find the same support in us as we have found in each other :)

I am on day 3 of Femara and am on CD5. I go in next Monday morning to see my follie(s)!!
So, on the bad note we have a showing to go to tonight, the funeral tomorrow, and another funeral on Thursday... things should go okay tonight and tomorrow, but Thursday's will be a mess. Man.....
So I am going to get off the computer for a bit. Need to get my rear on the treadmill.... UGH I just don't feel like it!! But the last time I started exercising regularly  I got my BFP!!! It didn't stick, but maybe its the key I need to get another one!! So off the computer again...

Talk to you ladies soon :) Happy Tuesday all!!
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Wow, so much happened while I was away ! It was a crazy weekened.  Our power went out Sat. night around 8:00 & didn't come back on till Sun, early a.m.  Then after I posted on Sunday, it went out again right around 5 p.m. !  It's been SO hot, so it was pretty miserable !  We had to buy lots of ice & put all our perishables in ice chests & then it was just too hot at home, so dh & I walked to the park & played frisbee :)  That was fun !  Anyway, luckily we were going fishing yesterday & so I didn't need to "do" my hair or anything :) !  We got home from fishing around 4:30 & thank God, it was back on.  Edison had to change out a transformer, which supplies power to approx. 8 houses.  Hopefully the problem is fixed ! :)
We had a great time fishing !  It was a beautiful day & we caught a lot, but let all go.  I took some pictures of the pelicans, which are just too cute :)  I'll upload some when I get a chance.

Stacey & Irish: I am Irish, too & very fair-skinned.  This was our first time this year sitting out in the sun all day & needless to say, I got sunburned !  I had covered up pretty good, though.  So, what's funny is my knees, my feet & my hands got fried -- lovely ! :)

Journey:  Welcome !  Everyone here is very supportive & we get excited every step of the way :)  We'll be looking forward to hearing about your appt. today !  Let's go, follies !!! :)

Irish:  Welcome back ! :)  Good to hear you got a +opk !

babynr:  OMG !  Great news !!!  I'm so happy for you & dh :)  That's awesome that your due date is your dd's b-day !  Let them gossip ! :)  How cool ! Woo-Hoo for you !!!

Candie:  Good luck with the house !  That's very exciting !!!

Stacey & vortex:  I'm really sorry about AF !!!  That really *****, but I'm glad you are looking ahead. So, we are not too far off this cycle.  I'm cd5 today & you're both cd2 :)  vortex, I was hoping for a bfp for my b-day, too.  Hopefully we'll get one soon after celebrating...  Stacey:  I'm glad that your reno is coming to an end & you can go home !  I'm sure that will be a huge sigh of relief !  It's difficult to be out of your routine.

Arlotheslug:  How are you doing ?

Luvkayln:  I can't believe I didn't give you a BIG congrats on your job promotion in my last post !  I think I was just so happy you were back & had so much to say !  Anyway, CONGRATS !!!  I am sorry about AF this cycle, too, but I know you've bounced back & that's great that you already started your clomid yesterday.  I'm glad we're just a day apart this time, vortex & Stacey are only 3 days behind me & 2 behind you, and dnikki and I are the same exact day.  That's cool :)  I go in today for my u/s at 1:45.  Hopefully everything is a-ok and I can start my clomid today.

dnikki:  So sorry about your losses ! I know how it is when that happens :(  In '06-'07, dh & I lost both our babies (our dogs) and each lost our grandfather !  They all happened approx. 6 months apart & it seemed to never end.  Things have gotten better for us & I'm sure they will for you, too ! :)  Did you start your Femara on Sunday?

Well, that was so hard to try and get caught up !  I'm sure not gonna be away that long again :)  Sorry if I missed something...
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I was still posting when you did.  Don't stay away too long !  I need my cycle buddy :)  I'm starting to exercise too.  I think that's a great idea.  You just get in such a rut going through this process.  Take care this week.  I'll be thinking of you :)
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Thanks for the welcome.
Stacy and Vortex, Thanks, Sorry for AF.
Irish, congrad on +opt. Hppy two week wait
Arlotheslig thanks
Candie, Thanks
Babynr, cangrand on beta. Way to go
Dnikki, Thanks
Mommyin09, Thanks hope your u/s goes well.


This have already been a blessing to me. I got a +opt this morning. I only have 2 follies.  Only one is mature measuring 26 and the other 16.  I was hoping for more. I'm schedule for my first iui in the morning.
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mommyin09: I'm glad you had a good time with DH - having the AC out really bites....  I can't remember the last time DH and I went fishing... I love to go fishing (and secretly I we go hunting together too!) I just like to be outside. Living in the city limits though I hate.... I can't wait until we move into the country (about 2 years). Don't worry, I'm still checking in and all as usual, I just got off the pc to work out on the treadmill. I did 1.5 mi.... That's a good enough start :)

Journey : Good luck with your IUI tomorrow - Those follies can rapidly grow in 24 hrs. so the 16 one has a chance still :)

Hugs Everyone :)
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Thanks! I was wondering could it grow anymore before I ov.  I forgot to say that I also took the oviduel shot. I don't know the short cut name for it.  Do you know if oviduel a hcg shot.
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Journey:  Good luck tomorrow!! Sending Karma.  You only need one!  Dnikki is right I think that the follies can grow as much as 2cm a day - so GROW follies GROW!

Dnikki:  I am sorry about the viewings.  That is a lot to handle in one week.  

Mommyin09:  I left you a note.  I have been a little down and just not wanting to bring anyone else down.  This group is so supportive and uplifting.

Candie: Good luck with the house! That is exciting!

I hope I caught everyone.  I am waiting for AF, so I can move on!  Happy Tuesday!
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Journey:  Two follies is great news !  The 26 is huge ! :)  I'm sure the other ladies are right, that the 16 still has time to catch up :)  Very exciting news !!!  So, you got your +opk & will soon be in the tww :)  Nothing but great news !

dnikki:  Great work on the treadmill :)  dh & I played frisbee on Sunday & I guess our aim may have been a "little" off, but we got quite the workout !  :)  We're talking about jogging in the sand on the beach.  That's a great workout !  When I was in high school, we actually had soccer practice on the beach.  Really good conditioning :)  I, too, love the outdoors.  I've never been hunting, but have gone shooting, which is surprisingly fun.  Is FROLF (Frisbee golf) all over the country?  I wasn't sure, but we have a course close to home & are planning to start playing that as well.  If you aren't aware, it's like a golf course, but you throw the frisbee in/close to the targets.  Anyway, have a great day !

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P.S.  I posted pictures of our day fishing :)
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How do I leave a note to someone?
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Geez... that's it! I'm checking in more then once a day from now on! My brain can't take all this news in! :) I feel like i've been gone for days, there's so much catching up to do!
Stacey & vortex- So sorry about af! I know it *****, but i'm glad you are both very optimistic for next cycle! Stacey- Yeah, i know. I think if it doesn't work this time, we'll just let nature take it's course. I really feel it would be unfair to my next baby, since i'm still grieving my daughter. I really feel like if she was here physically with me, at 6 months old, i wouldn't even consider trying for a baby. I feel i need to spend time with kayln, maybe that's why i haven't gotten pregnant yet. I feel it's almost a blessing i haven't gotten pregnant yet, God knows i'm not ready, and he's preventing me from a lot of heartache! Don't get me wrong, i do want more children. But i really feel i need time for kayln, and the time will come when God is ready to bless us again. So, if it doesn't happen this time, no more drugs, no more iui's, no darn dye test, :) , just au naturalle! I'll still buy the opk's, but it will be stress free b/c it'll just happen when it's supposed to, ya know? I really hope this iui is what you need! I really hope this is it for you!! :)
Journey- Hi and welcome! Don't feel as if i were ignoring you, so much happens in a day i feel like i miss out on so much! Congrats on your +opk! Don't worry about your follies! 26 & 16 are great numbers! That 16 mm follie still has time to grow, and it will, trust me! This last time i had 3 follies. 19, 18 & 12. That was 2 days before my iui, and the 12 mm that i thought was going to turn into a cyst actually released when i ovulated, they all did. So, that just goes to show how much those things can grow!! Good luck with your iui tomorrow! Be sure to take it easy afterwords, let those babies swim! Also, my RE suggests to bd the night of iui and the next day to make sure everything is covered! So, please take the advice and good luck sweetie!!! :)
dnikki- Oh sweetie, i'm so sorry all this is happening! I'm so sorry! I hope you are coping the best way you know how to. We are always here for you, anytime you need to talk or vent or whatever! I'm glad to hear you are working out! That's so good for your fertility, just don't over do it. You don't want to stress your body out at all, but walking on the treadmill is great and 1.5 miles is a great start! :) I don't excercise, i know i should. You know what my RE told me yesterday! He was so suprised i didn't get pregnant this cycle, and then whenever i got done changing and came out of the room, he said, what's your weight like. And i just said " You're gonna be po'd!" This man wants me to gain weight constantly. When i got pregnant with kayln, i weighed 120 lbs. I felt healthy, ate right, etc. Well, when he weighed me yesterday, i weighed 119 lbs. So, he put me on the ben & jerry's diet! I'm supposed to eat 1/2 to a full pint PER DAY until my iui! Can you believe that! Good luck with your injections! My RE said that had a woman come in with a litter in her belly, and that was from the injections! I hope you don't get a litter, but i hope you at least get one out of the deal! ;)
mommyin09- I'm so excited about my promotion! Thanks for the congrats! I sent you a message, but here's an extra good luck at your appointment! I hope all is well, and you can start your 2nd round of clomid today! It's crazy, but i just started my clomid yesterday, and i'm already having O pain in my ovaries. That just better mean my ovaries are kickin' into overdrive! I would love to have 3 eggs again!! :) I hope you chose to up to 100 mg, and you'll have more then 1 as well!!
arlotheslug- I saw in your post to mommyin09, you said you didn't want to bring the group down b/c you've been sad lately. Honey, Please vent to us! :) You'll feel so much better, and i know this is a great support system, we're all here for you! I know you're upset about the news you got, but hey, if it doesn't work this time, you have already considered ivf, and adoption as your back up! You'll get your baby! Somehow, someway, it'll happen for you sweetie!
candie- Good luck with your house hunting! How exciting! Yeah, i'm sure what on his brain about doing another dye test. We'll see how i feel after this cycle if i don't get pregnant. I'm thinking i'll just go natural, but we'll see. If you read my post to stacey, you'll understand! :) Good luck to you, already in the 2ww! I'm jealous! :) Did you and dh ever do a SA on him? I couldn't remember if you did or not. Good luck!!
babynr- Congrats on your beta numbers! That's so exciting, and we're all so happy for you! :)
leighanne- so sorry you've been feeling so sick, i'm glad i never got that sick with either of mine. But, it's a good sign, and i'm glad you're feeling good about this pregnancy! Good luck on your u/s in a couple weeks! Can't wait to hear how everything goes!!
If i missed anyone, i'm sorry! :(   And sooo sorry i just took up the whole page with my post! :)
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Mommy in 09: Great Pics!  
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mommyin09 - I love the pictures!  Everything looks so beautiful.  Other than the power outages (yikes!), I'm glad to hear you had a wonderful long weekend.  Hope your ultrasound goes well today.

babynr - Congratulations on those numbers!  How wonderful!  I'm from a small town, so I know all about gossip, but as my dad always reminds me:  "Opinions are like a$$holes, everbody has one!"  :)  Enjoy every minute of your pregnancy.

journey - Wow, great follies!  Like the others said, the one that is 16 could very well grow a lot before your IUI and I'm sure the trigger shot will help too.  Good luck!  (BTW, to send a note to someone, if you hold your mouse over someone's name, a box will pop up where you can choose to send them a note or a message.  Also, if you click on their name and go to their profile, you can do it from there too.)

Have a good night everyone!  

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Hi everyone.  I have a question for you.  Luvkayln asked if my DH ever had a SA and I want to run something by you.  

My DH did have a SA over a year ago and everything looked good except 2 things:  morphology was only 40% and his white blood cell count was at 1 million.  As far as the morph, my doctor felt it wasn't a problem since his overall count was really high, leaving us with lots of good ones.  As far as the wbc count, I've read that this can be a sign of infection/inflammation and can interfere with the sperm being able to penetrate an egg, but again, my doc felt there weren't enough of those to cause a problem.  Does anybody have any ideas/opinions/advice about this?  My DH gave ourselves a deadline that if we don't get a BFP by the time we go on vacation in August, he's making an appt with a urologist to get another SA and a second opinion.  Do you think that's a good idea?

Thanks ladies.  You've all been wonderful and I'd really like to hear your thoughts on this.  
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I do think it is a very good idea for him to go to a urologist.  That can be a sign of a prostate infection (prostitious), which is VERY treatable, but can be very bad for fertility.  

That is a pretty good motility (morphology?).  Normal is considered 50% I think.  This fluctuates a ton, though.  

I would also get a reccomendation from your RE for a good urologist who knows how to deal with fertility junk.  It is important!  

Have a good night!
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Hi, ladies.  I'm back from my u/s.  Everything looked good, so I started my clomid today, round two.  I'm still on 50 mg.  My doctor said I responded well to the 50 last time, so her practice is to do that again.  Then if I don't get preg., she'll up the dosage & then if I still don't get preg., she'll refer me for IVF (That's what I thought she said, but now that I think about it, maybe she said IUI???)  Anyway, I wasn't too worried about upping it, so I'm fine doing the 50 again.  Do you know if you have to take it the same time every day?  Last time I took it in the a.m., but this time 'cause of the time of my appt., I took it at 3:30.  Should I take tomorrow's in the a.m. or just take them all around 3:30 ?  Now, my doctor said something that confused me, but I didn't have a chance to bring it up later.  She was looking at the left ovary & said there's follicles waiting to grow... or something like that.  So, they're already there !?  Maybe I misunderstood her ??

Candie:  I'm sorry, I can't help with the S/A question, but I'm sure one of these ladies can.  dh actually hasn't had his checked yet... I know !  We should have had it done long ago.  Each cycle we time things better & think it's gonna work, so we just wait & see.  I just bought a home test for him & said if it shows there's a problem, then we'll make an appt.  If not, then we'll know he's okay.  Does anyone have experience with the home tests?

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journey:  Good luck tomorrow ! :)
luvkayln:  I responded to your note...  I'm curious, though.  Could I still have more than one follie this time on 50, even though I only had one last time?
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Good evening Ladies. Sometimes I feel that our life is lot around waiting for something lately. Now I am waiting to start Clomid, then the u/s, then the +ve OPT, then the IUI, and then comes the bad one....2ww. But it is good that you gals are around that the wait doesn't seem bad.

Candie:
All the best on the Home buying.

Stacey:
When are you starting Clomid this cycle. I think I'll start on Thursday and go in for an u/s on CD10.

Arlotheslug:
Don't read too much about it on the net. If we read too much it scares you and make you stressed. All the best and Sticky baby dust for your IVF cycle.

Journey:
How did the u/s go today?

babynr:
Congrats on the doubling numbers. I'm very happy for you and Hope to join you soon, Me and all others.

dnikki:
Howz Femara? I heard that it does not have bad side effects like Clomid.

mommyin09:
Apart from sun burns, I see from the pictures that you had a nice time yesterday. Howz the mood swings on clomid going. Man, I have bad one's on Clomid and I try to fight for no reason with DH. Poor fellow, he understands that it is clomid and dont fall for it. Sometimes I cry for no reason. It is recommended to take it almost at the same time. I take it before going to bed, with some milk. Take it around 3:30 every day.

Luvkayln:
Congrats on the promotion.How are you doing on Clomid?
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Hey girls! Just got home from work and wanted to check in on everybody!
mommyin09- Hey girl! No, i should't have worded it like that. You can produce more then 1 egg this time and still be on 50 mg. Look at me. The first time i was on 100 mg, i produced 2 eggs. And then this last time on 100mg, i produced 3 eggs. So, i think it just all depends on how your body reacts to clomid "faking" your body out thinking there's not enough hormones, so that's what kicks your ovaries into overdrive. Also, about your doctor saying something about there being little folicles in your left ovary, that's good! There's always little imature follicles in your ovaries, and as the time for ovulation draws nearer, then one side if not both, will produce mature follicles which will release the egg. In a non medicated cycle, both ovaries will compete against each other and the one that's more mature wins the race! But of course, in a medicated cycle, you can have numerous eggs b/c of the medicine faking your body out. And i'm sure that she meant iui, i don't think they would reccomend you to ivf first! I would hope not anyways! I would say iui is the next step if you don't conceive this cycle, or even the next. But hopefully you do and you don't have to worry about iui! Does your ob do the iui, or will you have to see an RE?
candie- I agree with arlotheslug. I think it's a good idea for him to see the urologist anyways. It's better to be safe then sorry! :) Plus, if it is something like arlotheslug said, then why not fix the problem now instead of trying a few more months with negative results. You know what i  mean? Plus, a man's count, morphology, motility can all fluctuate so much! I would have him get it checked out. Let us know what you and dh decide to do!
vortex- Thanks girl! I'm so excited about my promotion. I don't actually start it until next tuesday, but i'm really looking forward to it! :) Good luck on your next clomid/iui round! I hope this is it for you! I hope you have a great birthday this friday! :)
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hi ladies, just checking in on everyone.  how are you all.  is anyone starting a new cycle or in the 2WW again?
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Yup, here is the honesty.  AND a VENT.  I am sorry - please don't read, if you don't want to get down.  

I am so scared.  At times I do believe, I really do, that I will be pregnant.  But other times I get so scared, wondering if putting my body through all of this is worth it - worrying about how many times I check my temps, see if I o'd, worry about the cost of the accupuncture, the fertility treatments, etc and whether it is worth it.  I know we will have a baby through adoption - that is certain, but I fear I am not always strong enough to go through trying to be pregnant.  Worrying if I stop the accupunture b/c of cost - whether that will be the reason why I don't get pregnant.  Cursing all the souls who say "once you adopt, you will be pregnant," "oh, you will get pregnant a month after us b/c you got engaged a month after us," "as soon as you stop worrying, it will happen," (sorry for this one I don't mean to offend) "it is all part of god's plan - he only gives you as much as you can handle." I get so angry. Angry at the women who smoke with their child in the car, angry at the mothers and fathers who don't appear to understand what a precious gift they have, angry that a women who abuses her children can still have children.  I am just so tired sometimes.  I am Sorry guys, I guess I am really down - trying to get back up and be positve, but having a hard time.  I am sorry.  
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arlotheslug- Don't be sorry sweetie! We ALL feel the same way, it's hard to deal with the stress of ttc and everything else that comes along with it. I don't know how we keep trying every month, i really don't b/c seeing those -ve's is really depressing every month. But somehow we find that strength in the strongest part of us and keep trying. It takes a strong woman to keep putting herself through the stress of it all, and WE are those strong women! I understand about the $ issue, wondering is all this fertility stuff worth it? Don't listen to those people who say stuff like that to you. I don't even talk to other people about what we're going through b/c i feel that they truly don't understand! The girls on this website get me through everything, and i know you know it's a great support system, that's why you are venting to us! :) So we can be there for you, and when we're down and out, you can build our spirits back up. I guess everyone feels that it's not worth it at times, but when we finally have our baby, finally holding our baby in our arms, that's the ultimate blessing! And all this will have seemed like a bad dream, it'll be all worth it. I'm so sorry you are feeling like this right now, i know it *****, but that's what comes along with all this.... heartache, despair, frustration, sadness, even depression. You didn't offend me when you said that about God, and maybe you don't want to hear it, but He really IS taking care of you. He's my rock, He's what gets me through everyday without my Kayln. And i know there's a reason He blessed us with Kayln, and our time with her was very short, but i would've had her only 8 months like we did then to not have her at all. I feel Him around me all the time, i know He's there. And He's there with you too, whether you feel Him or not, whether you acknoledge him or not, He's there. I'm sorry if you didn't want to hear that, i don't want to upset you, but there's a reason He hasn't given you a baby yet. He will though, we can't see the bigger picture like He can. We don't always understand His reasoning for everything, but one day we will have all the answers, and i'll finally be with my Kayln again. I just want to give you a BIG HUG right now! Don't feel as if you brought us down, you didn't! This is something you needed to get off your chest, and we'll always be here to bring each other back up when we fall! I hope your day gets better, i hope you feel better already! ;) I'll be thinking of ya!
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Hey, there ! I think luvkayln is said it well :)  I wanted to tell you, don't ever feel like you need to apologize.  I know I told you before, but (as luvkayln said, too) we all feel down & depressed at times.  You are totally not alone !  I think when people say "those things" to you, they're probably trying to boost your spirits, not realizing it's really hurting you.  The only reason I try to stay so positive is because that's really all I've got !  As you know, we are trying SO hard for something & it's completely out of our hands.  So, the only thing we can actually control is our mindset & although it's unbearable at times, we have got to stay positive :)  You are awesome & I'm so glad you're here with us.  Hang in there & know we're ALL here for you :)
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vortex:  Believe it or not, I haven't had mood swings.  I told dh he's lucky ! :)  I'm only on round 2, but last time when I took them, I felt like I do when I'm O'ing & I was really tired, but that's it.  I know what you mean about always feeling like you're waiting for the next step.  That's why I started talking to dh about exercising !  I felt lately like all I'm doing is planning, taking meds, etc. & I also feel so lazy.  I've got to get myself moving !  Thanks.  I will take my pills around 3:30 each day.

Luvkayln:  Thanks for the info !  That gives me hope about my little follies in my left ovary.  I O'd from the left last cycle & so when she said there were follies waiting to grow (or something like that), I said, but don't they switch off, so I would O from the right this time?  And she said sometimes they switch off, but my left looks like it's a hard worker ! :)  Because of my AF's poor timing this cycle, it's kind of messing everything else up, too...  I may not get an u/s to see my follies 'cause that would be around cd15-17, which is 4th of July, Sat the 5th, Sun the 6th.  I O'd on cd18 last time, so who knows if that will happen again this time, but maybe I'm just supposed to be patient & hopefully surprised this time around !  :)  You asked if my ob does the IUI or an RE...  I'm guessing an RE, only 'cause she said she'd "refer me".  

leighanne:  I'm cd6, day two of clomid - 50mg.  How are you feeling?

Candie:  What cd are you?  I know you got a +opk... did you O yet?

So, I'm still enjoying the memory of how much fun we had on Monday & how nice it was to just relax!  dh used to have a boat years ago, but we sold it when we bought our house.  (It was in dry storage & deteriorating & we were paying to keep it there!)  Anyway, our plan has always been to buy a boat one day & when we have kids, we'll go fishing, take trips to Catalina (island close by), etc.  So, after our fun day on Monday, now dh is talking more about buying one sooner, possibly 2 years.  It's cool 'cause it seems like we get in such a rut, working, working on the house, etc. & it's nice to actually go & do something !  I think it may have kick-started a summer of more fishing & fun :)
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Not the best luck with my hair today... I remembered what you said as I was getting the shampoo !  it's only the first day, but I have to face the critics at work !  Oh, well... wish me luck :-)
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Arlotheslug - Thanks for answering my question.  I'm sure no guy actually wants to have to do the SA, especially more than once, but I think we definitely need to see what's going on and I know it would make him feel better.  What worries him is that he had to have double hernia surgery back in 2005 and for a while after that, there were areas that were bruised that never should be (ouch) and maybe that led to some type of inflammation.  He's just ready to find out and get it fixed if necessary.

As for you, please don't apologize for "bringing us down."  That is what we are here for, to support each other, no matter if it's a good day or a bad day.  I know how hurtful it is when people say those types of things to you.  I have to apolgize because I'm sure I've said that before too.  Sometimes I try to be the forever optimist and it may come off bad, so I'm sorry.  Just know that you are not alone and we have all felt the same way that you do right now.  You see people abusing their children or not wanting them while so many wonderful couples out there are aching to have a family and it doesn't make sense.  Anytime I hear one of those awful stories on the news, it makes me sick.  There are so many people whose priorities are way out of whack.  I do have to agree with luvkayln though that as hard as it is sometimes, I do believe there is a plan out there for each of us and that God will bless us when the time is right.  I have bad days sometimes when I get scared to death thinking that what if it never happens and that pain is almost unbearable.  I have drempt about having kids my whole life (my DH too) and it seems like everything we do and every decision that we make is geared towards having a family in the future and you just feel like that is the only reason we're put on this earth.  I know what you mean too about the drugs, temping, etc. and it does get overwhelming at times.  That's why we took a break for the summer to see what happened.  We just felt like everything in our life was planned around O'ing and then the possibility of pregnancy and then all of a sudden we realized that a whole year flew by that we missed out on.  We came to the realization that we had many other blessings and that it was an insult to God to not be thankful for them and still try to enjoy our life.  I hope some of what I said has helped you.  I feel like I'm rambling!  But I guess my point is just to take some time to heal and figure out what is best for you and your DH.  Only you guys can decide that.  In the meantime, never lose hope and know that we are here for you 100%.  Lots of hugs dear friend.
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Thank you all very much for your kind comments.  You ladies are an amazing support.  I really just needed to vent and release.  And, as Mommyin09 said, I am holding onto the positive and moving forward - because that is all we have.  I will still be scared - but I am reading up on so many books to understand everything right now!.

Mommyin09:  Let us know how the work folks were.  I am sure your hair looks amazing.  Funny thing on my end - you can always tell when I get my hair done - b/c I don't wash it for several days (I know I know, but it takes an 1+ in the chair to get it straight ;-)).  I can't do my own hair to save my life!  

Candie:  Good luck with the Dr.  I know it can be scary, but having the info and knowing the proper treatment is REALLY important and very fixable when it comes to men (hear me talking ;-).  Thank you for the support.

Luvkayln:  Thank you for the kind words.  It is very comforting.  

Happy Wednesday to all!  Let's keep those follies growing!
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that is good that you are right back into your cycle trying again.  how are you feeling?  anything new going on?

i am doing well, just impatiently waiting for the ultrasound next wed to make sure all is well.  i am so scared that it will all be taken away from me again so quickly.
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your feelings are completly normal.  I felt rage after my 2 MC's when i saw pregnant women, espcially 15 or 16 year olds, so what you are feelign is nothing you should apologize for.  the only thing you can do is take it day by day.  but also do not apologize for stating your feelings to all of us, that is what we are all here for:)
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vortex - I know what you mean about the waiting game.  It does get to the point where you feel like you life is defined by where you are in your cycle, but be sure to keep enjoying your life too.  We made that mistake for a while.  When I was on Clomid, I had mood swings too and since I'm always one to cry about things, it just made it that much worse.  Tell DH to just hang in there and remember that you do love him, even if you're acting like a crazy person! :)

mommyin09 - I am so glad that you had such a wonderful fishing trip.  I have very fair skin too and I always have those days when I think, oh it's not that sunny I'll be fine and then bam, I look like a lobster!  That would be so cool to take boating trips with the family some day.  With the Clomid, you could definitely wind up with more follies this time.  Your doctor was probably referring to IUI, not IVF.  Most doctors like to do that just to increase your chances after you've tried bd for a few months.  As for the at home SA, we've never tried it, but if it's possible, I would definitely have it done through his doctor.  I believe the kits only really look at the count, where as an official lab test would look at many different categories.  He wouldn't necessarily have to see a specialist, his regular family doctor could just order the test and could probably give an opinion on the results.  Heck, you guys could even get a copy and then compare it to the normal ranges here on medhelp or webmd.  I know it took my DH a few months to finally call the doctor, he was so embarassed, but it's really a pretty common thing and it's definitely worth it to make sure everything is OK.

Thanks everyone for your advice and as for me, I'm 6dpo today, at least I think so.  I got a positive OPK and my temps went up, but they haven't been staying way up like usual.  You guys can look at my chart if you want and see what you think.


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Hello ladies,  Arlotheslug I'm glad to know that someone else share my feelings.  I often ask why they who don't want any children can have them but me who have some much love for a child and can't. I know some day we all going to be pregnant.  Right now the heartache is wearing us down.

Candie: good luck

Leighanne: I believe your u/s will be just fine.

Sorry if I missed anyone that has gave an update.

Okay, the iui went fine. My dh count was 14.9 million and mobility 69%.  They said that was good.  I felt like I ov last night around 12am.  I was wondering if I should have cancelled my iui. Have anyone had a iui after the ov.  Have anyone had bad cramps after the oviduel that is why I think I ov, and the fact my mucus changed.(sorry).
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Don't have time to read right now....hampster on a treadmill today!!  Just an update....Beta 3025!!  17 days post transfer....US July 9th for a head count....EEK!!  Catch up later gals...take care :)
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Journey:  Yeah, the heartache is tiring, as well as the focus on the stages of our cycles (as Candie said), but we have some positive news among everyone here and I think one day we will be there too!   Awesome news on the IUI!! DH's counts are great!  From what I had read, the cramps are normal.

Babynr:  Great news on the beta!

Vortex:  I was a crying baby on clomid.  I think you just have to recognize that you are going there and let yourself go.  DH should understand ;-)

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Hi, ladies.  I won't be on this evening.  I'm meeting my girlfriends at my friend's place & she's cooking dinner, we'll have wine & just visit :)  Two of the friends are ttc as well, so we have LOTS to talk about !  Have a wonderful evening & I'll check with you all tomorrow :)


Arlotheslug:  The hair didn't do too well this morning, but I got only compliments.  I work with an honest bunch, so I was pretty nervous, but I survived ! :)

Babynr:  Great #s !!!

Journey:  Great news on the IUI :)
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i love having ladies night with dinner and sangria.  i hope you have lots of fun:)
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Hey girls! Just checkin' in before i go to bed. I'm starting a new thread as i'm sure you are all ready for me to do so! This one has grown VERY long, so make sure you find the new one!
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hello sorry to butt in like this,,,im so worried ive been asking this question again and gain at any place lol,,,anyways heres th e problem

we have also been trying for a year now,,and then went to do checkups,,my husband doesnt seem to have any problems,,and my ovaries, and everything else also seem s to be normal, except that when i was scanned (day 10th no dominant follcile/Endometrial thickness 3.4mm, day 13th , 8*10mm dominant follicle on right ovary/Endometrial thickness 4.6mm, day 16th the same thing measure 10 *9 mm,/Endometrial thickness 6mm)

i weighs 59 kg, and we have been married for 2 years now,,am 23 year sold , husband 28...

doc prescribed me fertomid 50 and i started taking it from day 5thof my cycle for 5 days

am so worried now since doc asked me to lose weight and he thinks i wont ovulate this month :(

(oh an dmy operiods rnt regular, sometyms i wud take 38 days, but mostly every month i do get my period)

would really appreciate ur help :),,thank u in advance
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