Aa
17 year old parents
is it wrong for two 17year olds to wanna have a baby and have been trying for close to a year? live together and getting married soon.
u keep bringing up the family thing but all i said about family was long enough to take a shower. i dont see where thats so bad. we have enough income to have a baby. i know what he would be because he has told me. but like i said im not going to get personal into his buisness on here because i made this for me not him i will let him handle his questions and stuff in his way. and i habe lots of knowledge of how the real world is. its hard. i know how it is to live on my own with just my fiance and we be the only one to work and bring in food and all the needed stuff.
How would money be no problem? How do you know what your finances would be? You've still pretty much ignored the questions of how you would even pay for things.
You might have lived a hard life, but you seem to have little knowledge of the real world. You can't depend on government funding or family.
You might have lived a hard life, but you seem to have little knowledge of the real world. You can't depend on government funding or family.
thank you i understand its just im very sensitive about this subject and its real easy to hurt my feelings and take what people think way too far. just real sensitive person all around. i understand what yall are all saying and i thank yall for it and not just ignoring the questions. it means a lot to have people to ytalk to and ask questions when i dont really have a mom for that ya know? it helps relaz me and take my mind off some things its just sometimes i wish it was operfect and id only get nice things on here but thats that perfect place in the back of my mind lol i know its hard to believe but the money for the baby would be no problem. and his party time over? im not gonna go into detail about his life thats for him to do but all in all he is done too. has been done before i was. thanx again for the replys:)
Ive been reading through, pretty briefly-
I am 37 years old- I am an Engineer- and make a decent living. Was married, divorced now for 14 years- I chose not to have children with him because life was chaotic and he didn't treat me properly-
I then was involved in another relationship for many years, he passed away 4 years ago of Brain Cancer- I have learned a little something from all of my relationships...I am now involved again, with the best man I could have ever asked for. We now, would both like children and we have been trying for about 2.5 years without success-
I have had 2 IUI, failed- 1 IVF cycle, failed. It's funny what life hands you, and how very little control you have. The ONE major item you do have control over is a child's life- Not to bring one into this world until you both are absolutely ready!
I don't think there is anyone in the world that can tell you if you are ready or not- I believe what everyone is trying to do, in this forum- Is pass on some of their experiences because we do have a "few" years on you, and if I am not mistaken- you asked! It is a sign of immaturity that you would get so defensive after asking for people's opinions. Just because they are not supportive does not mean they are criticizing you- It simply means that the majority of this forum may be a bit more knowledgeable or have thought of things that you havent. Everyone in this forum is trying to give some assistance to another, not put them down. If you have asked, then you should be open minded enough to way the opinions of those you have asked? I think that during this time, economy is up and down- Things change from day to day that are completely out of your control. It would be in everyone's best interest to prepare for a child. Make sure that your 17 year old boyfriend "passes" all of the tests. Have you ever been in the hospital, was he there every second- Have you ever been without a job, is he able to care for you/and your property/pay bills, When you are upset, does he hold you close- When you both fight with each other, can you work it out quickly?, When you are both stressed out to the max, have you ever thought about leaving him or him leaving you? Is he done partying? Who is going to pay for doctor's visits, medications, formula, diapers, lotion, shampoo, daycare, hospital visits, birthday gifts, electricity, food, shelter, clothing about every 4 or 5 months (winter clothes, summer clothes etc) (they grow like weeds), toys, car, gas, carseat, bottles, bowls, binkies, bibs- This is just touching the surface- You have to have about $2000 extra each month (just for the baby)- Is that possible? Most people I know, with a college education and career find that to be difficult-
So many factors, and quite honestly- you have Soooo Much time- There is a "saying" that you should enjoy the honeymoon- Usually that doesn't involve children and you aren't married yet-
No one on here can make the decision for you- But to be an extrodinary mom, and it sounds like that is what you want, then you need to educate yourself (in every way), and provide a safe, clean, warm, and loving existence for your child. Right now...I think that you should wait and enjoy each other-
I can't remember how many times, I wish, I was 17 again- The years go by so fast...
just my thoughts-
I am 37 years old- I am an Engineer- and make a decent living. Was married, divorced now for 14 years- I chose not to have children with him because life was chaotic and he didn't treat me properly-
I then was involved in another relationship for many years, he passed away 4 years ago of Brain Cancer- I have learned a little something from all of my relationships...I am now involved again, with the best man I could have ever asked for. We now, would both like children and we have been trying for about 2.5 years without success-
I have had 2 IUI, failed- 1 IVF cycle, failed. It's funny what life hands you, and how very little control you have. The ONE major item you do have control over is a child's life- Not to bring one into this world until you both are absolutely ready!
I don't think there is anyone in the world that can tell you if you are ready or not- I believe what everyone is trying to do, in this forum- Is pass on some of their experiences because we do have a "few" years on you, and if I am not mistaken- you asked! It is a sign of immaturity that you would get so defensive after asking for people's opinions. Just because they are not supportive does not mean they are criticizing you- It simply means that the majority of this forum may be a bit more knowledgeable or have thought of things that you havent. Everyone in this forum is trying to give some assistance to another, not put them down. If you have asked, then you should be open minded enough to way the opinions of those you have asked? I think that during this time, economy is up and down- Things change from day to day that are completely out of your control. It would be in everyone's best interest to prepare for a child. Make sure that your 17 year old boyfriend "passes" all of the tests. Have you ever been in the hospital, was he there every second- Have you ever been without a job, is he able to care for you/and your property/pay bills, When you are upset, does he hold you close- When you both fight with each other, can you work it out quickly?, When you are both stressed out to the max, have you ever thought about leaving him or him leaving you? Is he done partying? Who is going to pay for doctor's visits, medications, formula, diapers, lotion, shampoo, daycare, hospital visits, birthday gifts, electricity, food, shelter, clothing about every 4 or 5 months (winter clothes, summer clothes etc) (they grow like weeds), toys, car, gas, carseat, bottles, bowls, binkies, bibs- This is just touching the surface- You have to have about $2000 extra each month (just for the baby)- Is that possible? Most people I know, with a college education and career find that to be difficult-
So many factors, and quite honestly- you have Soooo Much time- There is a "saying" that you should enjoy the honeymoon- Usually that doesn't involve children and you aren't married yet-
No one on here can make the decision for you- But to be an extrodinary mom, and it sounds like that is what you want, then you need to educate yourself (in every way), and provide a safe, clean, warm, and loving existence for your child. Right now...I think that you should wait and enjoy each other-
I can't remember how many times, I wish, I was 17 again- The years go by so fast...
just my thoughts-
thank u sally it means a lot that ur not bn negative. i did grow up a hard way but i dont want that to get in the way of my own family ya know. and something else i forgot to say to one of the other ladys is if me and my soon to be husband are trying to have a child why would he leave? he was the one that let me know first that he was ready to have a child. we have tried for close to a year but not tried tried ya know. just been like if it happens it happens then it turned into i WANT this to happen soon. maybe not this year or next but soon. if god blesses me with a child ill be greatful and love it to no end. if only u ladys knew the way i think and the way my heart feels. even my mom that i dont talk to much can see it. i cant show yall and get yall to understand but i can try. its just this strong feeling in my heart that pulls and pulls until it slaps me in the face and i break down crying one day scared to death ill never have a child. i couldn give a child the perfect life right now but i couyld try. and it would have more love than it knew what to do with... lol but all jokes aside i would love more than anything to get pregnant and its my dream now and until the day it happens whenever that shal be<3
god bless
god bless
Hi Aj,
The ladies here are not at all saying that you won't be a great Mum. I am sure you can and will be! Sounds like you have all the love and best intentions in the world.
They are just trying to say that you might be an even better mum if you look after yourself first (job, relationship, further education). At 17 you are nearly grown, and sounds like you've sure grown up the hard way. Please think long and hard about what you want to give your child in terms of education and opportunities and life. Then work out how you can do that.
Work hard at your relationship - you and your partner need to be secure and happy, so you can top that happiness with the even greater happiness of having your dreamed of child.
Please consider taking a couple of years to work on your job, get some savings, and security and be very secure in you relationship (not saying your partner is not great, but now is also the time for him to work on the same things as you) before having a child. Women can still easily get pregnant and conceive in their early 20s or so.
Dream and plan and work towards achieving that. I am sure you know what you should do. Please listen to your head as well as your heart on this.
Very best wishes to you, your partner and your future child.
The ladies here are not at all saying that you won't be a great Mum. I am sure you can and will be! Sounds like you have all the love and best intentions in the world.
They are just trying to say that you might be an even better mum if you look after yourself first (job, relationship, further education). At 17 you are nearly grown, and sounds like you've sure grown up the hard way. Please think long and hard about what you want to give your child in terms of education and opportunities and life. Then work out how you can do that.
Work hard at your relationship - you and your partner need to be secure and happy, so you can top that happiness with the even greater happiness of having your dreamed of child.
Please consider taking a couple of years to work on your job, get some savings, and security and be very secure in you relationship (not saying your partner is not great, but now is also the time for him to work on the same things as you) before having a child. Women can still easily get pregnant and conceive in their early 20s or so.
Dream and plan and work towards achieving that. I am sure you know what you should do. Please listen to your head as well as your heart on this.
Very best wishes to you, your partner and your future child.
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