17 year old parents

[aj93]

is it wrong for two 17year olds to wanna have a baby and have been trying for close to a year? live together and getting married soon.

[sweetpea03]

3,600 a month seems like a lot right now, but really it's not. Take out the money for rent, for food, insurance, etc and really looking at everything, you would maybe be able to squeeze by. But why live like that? If you are responsible with birth control, save up money now, get married, and then have a family, you could enjoy it 100x more when you are truly ready for that baby than you would right now. Again, you need to have money saved up and put away money for any "just in case" scenarios. What happens if the baby has a medical condition? That's a lot of time, effort, and money that would need to go towards that child. What happens if your boyfriend loses his job? You don't have the money saved to take care of a family from what you have right now. You may not think these things will happen to you, but they do happen and you need to be prepared for it. No one thinks the bad things will happen to them and it is best to be prepared for any scenario that might take place. I understand that you really want a baby to love, but a baby is not going to fix the pain you have from your past. It's not going to fill any hole you may have. Children don't "fix" anything, they only add stress and magnify any problems you do have. If your relationship is not rock solid, a baby will make those problems 10x worse. My friend got pregnant with her fiance and he left her when she was 6 months pregnant. No one ever thinks of that happening because they are "going to get married", but it does happen and it happened to a friend of mine and many other people as well. Are you planning on continuing your education? I do highly recommend that you go to college or a trade school of some sort. College is a great experience! Do not rely on your boyfriend to pay for what ever you may need. You need to work on making yourself well off and think more about your future. Children are great when you are ready and prepared for them, but if you are not you will set yourself to struggle for a long time and cause a lot of unnecessary heartache and pain. A lot of women are here have had children young and struggled to get everything in order. It's not fun to live like that. You have gotten a lot of good advice from people and I do hope you take that to heart. If you would wait 5 years, I know it seems like a long time but the time does go by fast, you can really have a good amount of money saved up and be totally ready to have a family and get to actually enjoy it. Also, have some time for just you and your husband(after you are married) to just be together without worrying about kids. Go on a fun vacation together and travel a little. You can't do that with a baby. I hope you read through the responses and think it all over.    

[sabby1178]

I don't think your ready for the obvious reasons mentioned in all the above replies. That put aside, babies should not come into this world with a job. This is what your doing, you talk about all the things this baby can do for you, give you a family, fill this void etc.. Wrong reasons!  When u have a baby, its not about you anymore. You don't matter and you live for your child.  Children do NOT fix problems, heal your pain or bring you closer to your boyfriend. Work on yourself first and only then you'll be able to fully give yourself. If you don't do this right, you will find yourself being a single mother, struggling financially, emotionally and you would have brought this poor innocent child into this situation. For the sake of your "baby",  please wait.

[Clysta]

Honestly, you'll do whatever you want. Why are you even asking people online? You seem to not like any of the answers you've gotten, and in reality they should have been expected anyway. If you REALLY think you can handle it, do it. I still don't find that you're ready and that you only want a baby for selfish reasons, but what I or the others think doesn't mean much.

[aj93]

i have thought of all the things u just sad. only dif. is i went to walmart and wrote down the exact price for everything i would need... i think if i get pregnant nine months is a long time to save up money deff with us bringing in 3,600 a month... plus extra money with all the people we do yard work for (know i wouldn be able to once pregnant) but i see what yall are all saying.

[sweetpea03]

Why don't you try something for the next couple months and see how this goes. Lets pretend you will have a baby and you should go online and start calculating just how much this baby can cost. Look up all of the prices for: a crib, crib sheets, baby clothes, formula, baby food, car seat, diapers, changing table, high chair, bibs, bottles, booster seat, nursing pads, nursery monitor, a thermometer, night lights, outlet plugs, other child locks, stroller, toys, etc. All of these things add up very quickly and these are just the bare necessities. You also need to calculate in doctor's appointment co-pays, gas prices(driving to the store or where ever), and all of the money you need to spend on yourself(food, drinks, doctor's appointments, etc). Lets start the calculations from the beginning: buying a pregnancy test($15), OBGYN visit($20 to $40 each), prenatal vitamins($35 for 6 month supply), labs at doctor's office($150 -blood work to $2500 -amnio), ultrasounds($250 each), maternity clothes(~$600), money for birth($800). This is just for going through pregnancy to birth. Adding it all up, with everything, and this can cost you about $12,000, in the first 6 months after the baby is born. This price does not include child care either.  Do you have the money for this? Babies are not cheap and it's a lot of work. You are young and have plenty of time to have a family later. Are you planning on going to college or trade school to further your education? A high school diploma really will not get you anywhere in this economy. Where does your boyfriend work? Is he planning on continuing his education? What happens if he loses his job? Do you have money saved up? There is a LOT to think about before trying for a baby.

[aj93]

we make 3,600 a month