Aa
Sex?
Am I the only one who feels horrible the day after having sex? I've tried to explain it to my husband but I do understand his needs. Sometimes, he literally has to UNFOLD me afterwards.
Anyone else w/ this same issue?
Anyone else w/ this same issue?
olproblems
Some of your Neurotransmitters (NTs) are out of whack completely.
How can you even sleep at night?
You need to get tested for this. The only thing is that not too many
doctors know about NT testing. Questionnaires are probably what they use.
Where about do you live?
The urine NT tests are kinda useless, as they're not very reliable, don't opt for that, and the most reliable test is the CSF, which is used mainly in pharmaceutical research (usually anti-depressants). But check with your doctor anyway. He might be able to refer you somewhere.
I personally don't agree with patients becoming guinea pigs, where doctors sribe them TCA's or trazodone or like without thorough NT evaluation and monotoring!
Monkeys shooting darts have a better chance of hitting the right med. lol!
How so, does it get better? just curious.
Wish everyone well!
Niko
Some of your Neurotransmitters (NTs) are out of whack completely.
How can you even sleep at night?
You need to get tested for this. The only thing is that not too many
doctors know about NT testing. Questionnaires are probably what they use.
Where about do you live?
The urine NT tests are kinda useless, as they're not very reliable, don't opt for that, and the most reliable test is the CSF, which is used mainly in pharmaceutical research (usually anti-depressants). But check with your doctor anyway. He might be able to refer you somewhere.
I personally don't agree with patients becoming guinea pigs, where doctors sribe them TCA's or trazodone or like without thorough NT evaluation and monotoring!
Monkeys shooting darts have a better chance of hitting the right med. lol!
How so, does it get better? just curious.
Wish everyone well!
Niko
I am a single female suffering from fibro. It's horrible because people don't understand. I can't even bear the pain when people pat me on the back or shoulders. When I say please don't touch me, they assume I'm crazy. Sometimes I can't hold hands with my date. It simply hurts. It's very isolating. And I feel for all the women who can't have the intimacy in their relationships that they or their spouse feels is necessary. I just want to say to the partners out there, that there are times of pain and isolation but these phases do and will go away. I want to also say that much of this is fear. We are afraid to experience pain. Hang in there everyone, it gets better!
First off I want to say to the spouses who are suffering you are to be comended for trying to accomidate your partner. My spouse suffers, as well and she isn't open to doing anything to accomidate my needs. Are there any suggestions if not for her but for me? I'm at my wits end on what to do. I don't want an affair, but after this long I feel I'm more single than I am married.
It's very possible that the small number of responses to this is because most of us have lost any "significant other" we might have had before all this happened.
It's so nice to know that there are actually men out there who will stick by you through this. Years ago when this all started my husband of 21 years just walked out. period! A wonderful man I met later, and was engaged to, eventually thought that I was just being difficult or manipulative when I tried to explain that just trying to let him hold me was excruciating painful.
I am sure many others find it as difficult as I do just trying to cope with this on our own, let alone try to explain yourself daily to a partner.
For those of you who still have a partner I can only pray that some kind of support system can be put together for them to have others who they can relate to and work through these challenges with.
Maybe we should get a forum going in here for the "significant others" to anonymously discuss the difficulties they face trying to understand and support their loved ones and at least give them a safe place to vent frustrations, and know they are not alone in their daily challenges.
It's so nice to know that there are actually men out there who will stick by you through this. Years ago when this all started my husband of 21 years just walked out. period! A wonderful man I met later, and was engaged to, eventually thought that I was just being difficult or manipulative when I tried to explain that just trying to let him hold me was excruciating painful.
I am sure many others find it as difficult as I do just trying to cope with this on our own, let alone try to explain yourself daily to a partner.
For those of you who still have a partner I can only pray that some kind of support system can be put together for them to have others who they can relate to and work through these challenges with.
Maybe we should get a forum going in here for the "significant others" to anonymously discuss the difficulties they face trying to understand and support their loved ones and at least give them a safe place to vent frustrations, and know they are not alone in their daily challenges.
OMG. This topic made me join just so I could post! I just got diagnosed a week ago with FMS and have only had it for 4-5 months, unlike many of you. My boyfriend doesn't get it in this area at ALL, even tho he tries in other areas. Not to be too graphic :-) but we used to have a lot of kink and s&m play and he doesn't get that he should just be glad if I can manage a vanilla session every now & then. When you hurt all the time you certainly don't want to hurt MORE for 'fun'. Not to mention that everything is so much more sensitive.
Thanks for letting me vent, and no you are not alone!
Thanks for letting me vent, and no you are not alone!
You are definitely not alone. It hurts when I have sex. My husband thinks that I make it up. I really wish he knew how I felt. It's not like we asked for this disease it just happened. Believe me I wish I was the way I was before I get this stupid disease. But I am trying to find a good support group and then maybe he will understand. You are NOT alone. xoxo
You are not alone in this area of the fibro world! Ive never told anyone,but sometimes I am actually sick the next morning. I mean nausea,vomiting,headache,bleh...its so frustrating to wonder every time my partner wants to have sex,if Ill be sick in the morning! Thankfuly I am blessed with a very understanding husband who has a problem of his own,degenerative disc disease in the L4 and L5 lumbar(his lower back) so we get into the most comfortable position possible,(for us) which is for you to lye on your back and he lies on his side .this leaves plenty of ways for you to have foreplay,and then when your ready,you put your lege over his side,(you might have to scoot over to the right or left a little to get it right ,but it will work)you should try it if you can lay on your back,and prop your legs over his.its an easy to do it,unless your in the same position too long that is,then you can change around or take a break and try again.this is the one way we have figured out to do it that dont hurt us.and I dont wake up sick in the morning! good luck! esor15
wow I thought I was the only one! I know how you feel luv....
((((((((hugz)))))))))
((((((((hugz)))))))))
Do you mean to tell me that you actually have the energy to participate? Well done you!
My bed is like a sitcom: "Ow! Careful, that hurts!" (I have psoriasis too). At this point he's only touching my arm! "Move where? You're joking! It's taken me 15 minutes to get comfortable here! I'm worn out from sorting out the pillows"
"No, i am not playing necrophylia, I'm not a dustbin"
"Can't you just cuddle me?"
"Maybe another day when I'm not so shattered?"
"Of course I love you, I just don't have the energy to join you in the equivalent of climbing Everest" + loads of etc.etc.
It's not a joke, I know and it would be so nice to at least have that part of the relationship whenever you wanted to.
I'm no sex guru but, just play when you feel you can, find the very gentlest position and and don't try to live up to your previous, gymnastic feats! Hopefully you'll soon feel much better and be able to wear him out! Also, remember that your whole being is involved with changes taking place in many medical areas. So, your whole self has been exerted as well as trying to rise above your usual pain and discomfort. Ideally you need to participate on the weekend so that you can have the whole next day in bed - to rest!
I expect you know this but it's very common for women to cry afterwards. In your situation, having taken the stopper out of the emotion bottle you're probably crying the tears which you bravely hold back each day. and, this closeness does remind you of "the way we were" and sharply underlines the massive difference of before and after poorliness. Anyone listening to this tale would cry never mind the poor soul trying to get her life back! Take care and just remember: You didn't write to 1a, Heaven, and request this vile scourge, it came all be itself when you weren't looking. Feel good about what you can do. try to keep positive. It's hard, hard, hard - and if you are in bed without anything occurring, read a funny book, watch a funny dvd, anything to keep your spirits up. Good luck
My bed is like a sitcom: "Ow! Careful, that hurts!" (I have psoriasis too). At this point he's only touching my arm! "Move where? You're joking! It's taken me 15 minutes to get comfortable here! I'm worn out from sorting out the pillows"
"No, i am not playing necrophylia, I'm not a dustbin"
"Can't you just cuddle me?"
"Maybe another day when I'm not so shattered?"
"Of course I love you, I just don't have the energy to join you in the equivalent of climbing Everest" + loads of etc.etc.
It's not a joke, I know and it would be so nice to at least have that part of the relationship whenever you wanted to.
I'm no sex guru but, just play when you feel you can, find the very gentlest position and and don't try to live up to your previous, gymnastic feats! Hopefully you'll soon feel much better and be able to wear him out! Also, remember that your whole being is involved with changes taking place in many medical areas. So, your whole self has been exerted as well as trying to rise above your usual pain and discomfort. Ideally you need to participate on the weekend so that you can have the whole next day in bed - to rest!
I expect you know this but it's very common for women to cry afterwards. In your situation, having taken the stopper out of the emotion bottle you're probably crying the tears which you bravely hold back each day. and, this closeness does remind you of "the way we were" and sharply underlines the massive difference of before and after poorliness. Anyone listening to this tale would cry never mind the poor soul trying to get her life back! Take care and just remember: You didn't write to 1a, Heaven, and request this vile scourge, it came all be itself when you weren't looking. Feel good about what you can do. try to keep positive. It's hard, hard, hard - and if you are in bed without anything occurring, read a funny book, watch a funny dvd, anything to keep your spirits up. Good luck
No one understands. You feel so alone. People are sick of you whining and complaining. Your family just expects you to keep carrying on as though you are still the life of the party as you once were. Grown children still think you should make their dinner plate. Your friends (that you have left) think you are lazy b/c you never feel like doing "anything". And yes your man can't understand why you aren't as "kinky" as you used to be...I am after all, only 50. It doesn't seem right to me either, guys.
my email address is ***@**** if you have any question I have had fibro and chronic fatigue for the last ten years four of those years i went undiagnosed, so I'm serious feel free to contact me for any question or support issues.
andi
andi
I don't talk to my friends too much about this stuff anymore, just my family. I think they're sick of hearing about it too. I think it's better to talk to other people with the same problem like we do.
Thanks Patsy. I was beginning to think I was alone in that area. It's not like I can talk to my friends about it. I'm learning everyday that no matter how hard some of them try, they cannot totally understand what I'm going through.
Yes, I have it. Maybe people are afraid to admit it....Any type of physical activity feels like I did a triatholon the next day.
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