Actually I think you have a right to cry. Crying is never a sign of weakness, but a way to get your feelings out. This is very sad, and you just want him to be with you. But I will always believe that if you look around, you will see that he will send you signs that he is watching over you. Somethings that might help are to keep a journal of how you are feeling, talk to him as if he is still there, write him letters join a grief group, find a therapist, and read books about grief.
It will never stop hurting, over time it will just get easier to deal with. If you need someone to talk to, you can always send me a message.
Both our families are supportive but I feel like I can't express myself around them and they all tell me the same to be strong to not cry but it's easier said then done
I feel like Ima lost my ******* mind
Okay, I'll assume this is for real and ask you a few things.
Do you have any family? Are they supportive of the pregnancy? Do his family know of the pregnancy?
In other words, where and who is your support system? They are the ones who should be helping you now. If they have turned from you, do you have a church or trusted adult in the community that you know?