HIV Anxiety Support User Group
Girlfriend showing symptoms post (my) exposure
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This support group is for those who are suffering from stress or anxiety associated with uncertain HIV status. HIV anxiety is extremely isolating for those who are going through it, as it is often very difficult to discuss with friends and family members. This group is provided for sufferers of HIV anxiety to discuss their fears in a supportive environment. Those with anxiety over non-HIV STDs are also welcome. For personal advice concerning HIV risk, testing, and prevention, please post in the HIV Prevention Community.

Founded by joggen on October 4, 2009
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Girlfriend showing symptoms post (my) exposure

Not sure if this in entirely in the right sub-forum (mods, feel free to move) but, long story short:

*Whilst using a condom* 3 weeks ago, had both oral (received) and vaginal sex with a random / stranger (status: unknown). The condom did not break and I showered immediately afterwards. Too bad it didn't get rid of the immediate regret. Anywhom:

24 hours later -> onwards, I've had (unprotected) sex with my girlfriend numerous times. Several weeks have passed and I have since had *every* 'standard' single seroconversion symptom (fever / diarrhea / sore throat / hives / muscle ache / fatigue). I'm not sure if this is (hopefully) just due to over-research / guilt / anxiety BUT:

My girlfriend - who is completely unaware of the situation / therefore not even remotely anxious - has also had all of the above, PLUS blood in urine, bladder incontinence, mouth ulcers AND weight loss of >1kg in less than a week.

If not what-I-really-*really*-hope-this-isn't, what could it be...? Ideally just flu + UTI + hayfever(?) I had mono 8 years ago but surely I couldn't only just be passing that on now?

For the record: I had a full blood/urine/swab STI test at the 8 day mark (all came back completely negative), but after recent research I've discovered that would be far too early to be conclusive anyway, right(?)

Please advise / help. Have resisted posting this for 3 weeks now but it's at the point where I am literally CONSUMED by this worry and completely sick to my stomach. Many thanks in advance.
24 Comments
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1629919_tn?1407244906
Well the hiv forum is the best place but i can answer your question buds.

Using a condom protects you against hiv, so had no chance of putting yourself at risk of hiv, none at all mate.
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Avatar_m_tn
Really, unbelievably nice to read Apollo1971 - thank you so much for your reply. That's what I keep telling myself, too.

What do you think COULD be the cause of these symptoms though?!
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1629919_tn?1407244906
Thats ok buds, glad i could help. Well you really coukd have a uti and if their is blood in yiur urine you should certainly see a doctor straight away, just to rule out anything which maybe a concern.
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1831637_tn?1323268054
Apollo is correct. Seek medical advice for traces of blood in your urine. This is more indicative of a UTI or a bladder disturbance. If you used a condom them you certainly have nor acquired HIV.  The most important thing is that you don't worry. There is a good chance that these 'ARS' symptoms you speak of are only noticed due to a heightened state of awareness. Very common in people who obssess over any particular condition. Relax.

Peace
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Avatar_m_tn
These are not just mine but also my girlfriend's symptoms though (who doesn't even know that anything's happened...)

She went for a 'routine' test at the 2 week mark; results are later this week. Fingers / everything crossed.

(I personally just woke up drenched in sweat with a migraine - again.) Really hope this is just a terrible, terrible flu. If not - what else could this be? As I said before: I've already had mono.

Worst mistake of my life. I literally hate myself. Thanks for the replies guys.
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Avatar_m_tn
20 days post ('low risk') exposure: girlfriend just woke up - even sicker.

Her symptoms definitely can't be due to anxiety (have been exhibiting for almost 2 weeks straight now). What is going on(??!?!?!)
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Avatar_m_tn
I had similar experience.  Every thing and anything wrong with my gf I thought was related to HIV.  Spotting between period. Heavy heavy period. Sore throat blah blah.   But after 3 months I tested neg.  I was told I didn't even need to test.  I guess they were right.   Symptoms mean nothing.  You are very stressed and your anxiety is taking over rational thoughts
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Avatar_m_tn
Reassuring to hear. Just SO coincidental. Time will tell I guess, just need to keep reading comments like that every now and then it seems...

Thanks for your words - believe it or not it's had a huge - positive - impact on my day. Thank you. Take care.
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Avatar_m_tn
It's all coincidence.  You can't give her something u don't have
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1831637_tn?1323268054
You didn't have a low risk exposure, you had NO  risk at all. You wore a condom and it did.nt fail. For the sake of your sanity, stop what your thinking. You had NO risk in the first place, you feel guilty so now your becoming ultra paranoid.  You need to think logically here...
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Avatar_m_tn
I know, I know... (thanks for your replies guys).

The little - irrational - things just find a way to niggle themselves right into your mind though: 'I had a mouthful of beer before I kissed her breast - was she lactating?! Did the alcohol stop my saliva killing the virus!? The condom was wet when I took it off - had it split or was she just moist?!'

I'll / we'll (God help us) hopefully be just fine. Will test at the 12 week mark. Until then...

Thanks again guys.
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Avatar_m_tn
5 weeks later: girlfriend and I still noticeably ...different. Consistently. Most of my symptoms could easily just be passed off as anxiety so I'll just stick to hers:

Extreme fatigue (endlessly tired)
Diarrhea
Vomiting
Itchy full-body rash (woke up bleeding - from scratching whilst asleep - one morning it was that bad)
Sore throat / headaches / runny nose (daily).

Again, I have had all or most of the same and this is on top of the existing / aforementioned symptoms above. This is not due to anxiety or stress as she is still unaware of risk.

Attempting to get re-tested today. Is there any particular test I should ask for(?) Literally suicidal with nerves / worry right now. Please God, help us. *Please.*
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Avatar_m_tn
All previous (one week) UTI / STI tests came back negative btw. The blood in urine / discomfort whilst urinating is still (also) unexplained.
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1629919_tn?1407244906
have you been to the doctors?
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Avatar_m_tn
Yeah, just a few hours ago / after that post. Results will be in next Saturday. With combined symptoms like these I honestly don't know what else it could be. Neither do they. I don't even... what have I done(?)
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1629919_tn?1407244906
Its not hiv, thats for sure.
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Avatar_m_tn
Appreciate the optimism Apollo, truly. Just... at the absolute end of my tether right now.

Found a mouth ulcer today (the only symptom I haven't had - glands are also pretty big right now, too) and have convinced myself this is how it's got me:

http://i-base.info/guides/testing/does-washing-after-sex-reduce-the-risk

(Almost immediately after I came I removed the condom / lathered up with shower gel and took a very, very long shower.)

7 more days until 95% certainty...

Again, thanks - as always - for your reply Apollo. It really does help. Fingers crossed. Fingers crossed.
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1629919_tn?1407244906
You used a condom, you can never be at risk period
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Avatar_m_tn
Then what's wrong with us(?)

This is no doubt going to be one of the longest weeks of my entire life. Ugh.
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Avatar_m_tn
It's not going to be HIV.   When u calm down and stop worrying most symptoms go away.   You'll get through this
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Avatar_m_tn
I now have a rash on my chest. It's a deep pink - with one main hive - about 2 inches across and 1cm high. It's not itchy and definitely not an insect bite. In my mind there is now absolutely nothing else this could be. Are there any actual doctors here? Will taking PEP at this stage do *anything*?

This article definitely isn't helping my anxiety (the majority of condoms aren't always effective?):

http://www.globalchange.com/truth-about-aids-chapter-6.htm
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Avatar_m_tn
Severelyanxious:

Sorry, only just saw your comment (after posting). Friend, I truly, truly appreciate your comforting but underneath all the sugar coating: I had a VERY high risk encounter; the two of us have since had EVERY typical symptom (plus more) (hers definitely aren't even remotely anxiety related); and it's all exactly fit the average timeline.

This isn't just an 'I kissed a girl and now have a headache' thread. I'm almost positive I've not only contracted it but already spread it to the one person who I truly love, admire and adore. I already can't live with myself. I have no-one else to talk to. I am so sorry.
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Avatar_m_tn
Just calm down,  you might want to talk to a doctor.  I know how u feel it ***** but it's not going to be HIV u say your only a few days from 3 months?  I doubt symptoms would still be on going.  I am not a expert. But I scared myself to death as u have.  I still have off and on joint pain. But a 3 month rapid test was non reactive so I know it's not HIV. U will get through this.  Maybe u need to see your negative test first like I did
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1629919_tn?1407244906
if you ill see a doctor, but it cannot be hiv, no debate, no well if, no i have symptoms its not hiv.

Just for the record, even if you did get hiv, you would not have any of these symptoms anyway.

Now its time to stop this and see a doctor.
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