Aa
My HIV concerns
I am here because I have a heightened sense of fear about HIV. I have been told that my situations were no risk and have had accounts disabled. I request you to please not disable my account for I feel that communicating with someone here can help me.
A few facts:
1) I have been a visitor to strip clubs here in the US a lot of times. Got a lot of lap dances in the order of hundreds. There were times I spent an hour with a dancer.
2) I never drink alcohol so there is not a great chance for me to have done something without remembering.
3) I never had protected or unprotected anal/oral/vaginal sex with anyone other than my wife. I had my penis sucked during dances but through my clothes during the dances, not sure if it can be called oral sex. Also not sure if my erect penis coming in contact with vaginal area through my clothes can be called vaginal sex.
4) I kissed a few dancers on their lips but never really open mouthed as I did not fluids in my mouth.
5) I touched vagina area not sure if i ever put them deep inside.
6) I sucked and kissed the breasts and nipples.
7) I never licked the vagina or clitoris of any dancer when they bring it near the face and I tried to stay away from that.
8) there was one time where a dancer put her hands in my pants and I stopped her right away.
9) I never did any kind of drugs
10) I stopped going to strip clubs last year not necessarily out of fear but as a habit.
11) I ejaculated in my pants most of the times and does it matter if my semen spread to my pants.
Reading through tons of posts here, I moved on for the most part and some event happened that flared up my fear. I did not go back to a strip club nor I had sex with anyone other than my partner. I masturbated and felt that someone in my family might have touched my hand before i washed it and touched their face and this set off my fears again.
I know keep thinking of what ifs and all the previous worries that I had regarding any symptoms that I worried about.
I had a rash on my chest 12 years back and the time when I thought i had swollen lymph nodes and whether any acne or skin conditions that I had could be a portal of entry. I also have had a gradual hair thinning and worry about it. I have had weight loss a few times and now as well. I have had gastro intestinal issues. I have pretty much scared myself that I fear going to the doctor thinking that I have something. Even though my situations were no risk but I am so scared that I think there was some way the virus could have entered me due to the volume of my strip club visits.
A) is there hope for me?
B) Can you provide answer for 3 and 11?
C) I know that I did just these activities as i mentioned and I have had the scare of HIV since I started going to strip clubs but I feel that I may have gotten carried away and not paid attention to any wetness or think about what ifs?
Can someone please answer my questions and help me with my anxiety?
A few facts:
1) I have been a visitor to strip clubs here in the US a lot of times. Got a lot of lap dances in the order of hundreds. There were times I spent an hour with a dancer.
2) I never drink alcohol so there is not a great chance for me to have done something without remembering.
3) I never had protected or unprotected anal/oral/vaginal sex with anyone other than my wife. I had my penis sucked during dances but through my clothes during the dances, not sure if it can be called oral sex. Also not sure if my erect penis coming in contact with vaginal area through my clothes can be called vaginal sex.
4) I kissed a few dancers on their lips but never really open mouthed as I did not fluids in my mouth.
5) I touched vagina area not sure if i ever put them deep inside.
6) I sucked and kissed the breasts and nipples.
7) I never licked the vagina or clitoris of any dancer when they bring it near the face and I tried to stay away from that.
8) there was one time where a dancer put her hands in my pants and I stopped her right away.
9) I never did any kind of drugs
10) I stopped going to strip clubs last year not necessarily out of fear but as a habit.
11) I ejaculated in my pants most of the times and does it matter if my semen spread to my pants.
Reading through tons of posts here, I moved on for the most part and some event happened that flared up my fear. I did not go back to a strip club nor I had sex with anyone other than my partner. I masturbated and felt that someone in my family might have touched my hand before i washed it and touched their face and this set off my fears again.
I know keep thinking of what ifs and all the previous worries that I had regarding any symptoms that I worried about.
I had a rash on my chest 12 years back and the time when I thought i had swollen lymph nodes and whether any acne or skin conditions that I had could be a portal of entry. I also have had a gradual hair thinning and worry about it. I have had weight loss a few times and now as well. I have had gastro intestinal issues. I have pretty much scared myself that I fear going to the doctor thinking that I have something. Even though my situations were no risk but I am so scared that I think there was some way the virus could have entered me due to the volume of my strip club visits.
A) is there hope for me?
B) Can you provide answer for 3 and 11?
C) I know that I did just these activities as i mentioned and I have had the scare of HIV since I started going to strip clubs but I feel that I may have gotten carried away and not paid attention to any wetness or think about what ifs?
Can someone please answer my questions and help me with my anxiety?
yup, it really is as simple as that. Of course our minds do its best to play tricks on us, more so when guilt is involved and we belive we could give the other person ( the partner HIV ) but the facts when you think with a clear head are simple. In a sexual way, only unprotected sex is a risk, nothing else buds.
(sorry it got posted without me finishing it)
or kissing with a decayed tooth or any other contact is really worth it?
or kissing with a decayed tooth or any other contact is really worth it?
Thanks Apollo1971, I know guilt plays a big role in my current state of mind but I am unable to shake off that feeling this time.
Is it really that straight forward when people say that a no risk situation, I.e., absence of unprotected (anal/oral/vaginal) is really no risk? I mean any amount of re-spinning situations like touching vagina/ sitting in a place with potential of dried or wet fluids on surfaces or my clothes being wet from my semen
Is it really that straight forward when people say that a no risk situation, I.e., absence of unprotected (anal/oral/vaginal) is really no risk? I mean any amount of re-spinning situations like touching vagina/ sitting in a place with potential of dried or wet fluids on surfaces or my clothes being wet from my semen
I dont see where your concern is? You have not had sex, which is how HIV is passed on, you have kept your clothes on.
Their is no mystery to HIV transmission, its not like magic, it dosnt jump around and sneek inside your clothes or hides behind a chair and jumps out on you.
Your issue is guilt, pure and simple, so stop going to these places is my best advice.
Their is no mystery to HIV transmission, its not like magic, it dosnt jump around and sneek inside your clothes or hides behind a chair and jumps out on you.
Your issue is guilt, pure and simple, so stop going to these places is my best advice.
Just hoping someone can respond.. Previously I used to go to the very strip club when I had these concerns to reassure myself and would fall into that loop.. But now I really don't want to go back to a strip club and am looking for other ways to cope with this. It has been incredibly lonely and difficult for me emotionally. Would appreciate any help that I can get.
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