help please

[commissario1980]

Ciao Guys,
I am still freaking out even If I had 8 duo test all negative.
I had unprotected sex with 2 girls i met in bars. the last test was done 125 day after the first risk and 92 days after  the second one.
Can t believe my results. Feel like I need to go again for a test at the 6 months mark and my test will be positive.
even i read people advice to do a test at 1 year mark.
Any advice to deal with my anxiety?

thanks

Ciao

[Trinifool]

Please go see the therapist asap

[commissario1980]

I am going to see a therapist on Friday. hopefully will help. the funny thing is the I never had a syntom of hiv. thank you everybody and please do not think I am crazy.

[OrionB]

It's not uncommon for irrational thoughts to strike people are as you say in their happiest moments, when they are content with life. The trigger for your thoughts was your sexual exposure to which you had conclusive negative HIV test results. However even with that reassurance the irrational thoughts keep coming back and unfortunately the more you try to rationalize the thoughts the more attention you pay to them and the worse they will get.

From your explanation you seem to be suffering from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD - its not all about hand washing!) centered around obsessive irrational thoughts. The only way to get a proper diagnosis is to make an appointment to see a doctor and discuss your situation. If applicable he can refer you to see a specialist, probably a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (CBT), which is a very effective way of treating irrational thoughts and compulsions.

So if you have tried everything and you still cant move on and its getting worse then please look into what I have said and move forward from there.

[commissario1980]

Hi trinifool,
at least i am not alone. You do know what I am going through. Cannot get rid of those thoughts. loosing links with friends and family (I mean my family in Italy). I am a single. Forgot who I used to be. Which kind of therapy you had from your mental health advisor?  I feel so guilty for myself. This happened in the happiest moment of my life.  

[Trinifool]

Hey man i was worst off than you. I really thought i got hiv. My mental health physician did a good job of convincing me that i am clean. I did 41 tests out to 192 days and wasted alot of time and money. 3 months is conclusive. I know its hard to believe but its up to you to control your mind and move on. I know its hard but you need to suck it up and do it  before you really go insane.

[commissario1980]

Thanks everybody for answering. It is my mind I can t control this. never been in a situation like this. Hope this passes.
I could mention 100s of sites stating 6 months but it is pointless. everything seems pointless. Thanks anyway.
Gulley a big hug :)

[Apollo1971]

That link is pointless and not fully accurate. I have covered who may need a 6 months test and your not in those. The CDC state 3 months is conclusive, experts say 3 months is conclusive, the who say 3 months is conclusive, its just a simple fact. You have 8 negative tests already, you do not have HIV.

"Why a lot of websites and doctors still suggest 6 months / 1 year test?"

They do not, only sites with out of date information.

"I do not tolerate that 0.00001 % of being infected"

Applys more so to a single test, not 8 !!

"My mind put one year deadline. My mind decided that the punishment i deserve"

A waste of time, your test results will not change. Your choise that you want to waste more time on this when you could better spend it with your family. If you want to do right, then look after your family. Your just in a mood of self pity and denial in order to not face up to your actions.

This forum has scope to help people, but your at the point where you need face to face help as you will not accept simple logic as you choose to self punish yourself, as such this is not a forum which can help you.

Seek help.

[Gulley22]

Mate I am in the same situation as you,I can't accept the fact I'm negative even after 10 test out to 5 months.

There comes a time where we need to let it go before it destroys us mentally. I have a white coating in my tongue that I put down to HIV,I started looking at old photos and saw I had this 2 year's ago long before ny scare.

Its hard man but believe your results, I still struggle but I know I am all clear

[commissario1980]

Hi Orion, thanks. I know I am being an hiv worried well. I know I am punishing my self. Cannot stop doing that. It s like I do not deserve to be happy anymore after putting my life (and my family's) at risk.
I do not tolerate that 0.00001 % of being infected.
Feel guilty with people really sick.
I am seeing a mental health advisor friday.
My mind put one year deadline. My mind decided that the punishment i deserve.

Why a lot of websites and doctors still suggest 6 months / 1 year test?

My mind does not accept that a single test could change my life for ever whithout any possibility to fix it.

Leo  

[OrionB]

You are obviously feeling guilty about what happened. You made a mistake, and because of this you are punishing yourself by thinking that you must have caught something awful from your experience. But you did not. You do not have HIV and your tests prove that. We all make mistakes but continuing to punish yourself and ask 'what if' questions will only fuel your anxiety further. If you did not find the tests you have already reassuring then you probably won't find another test reassuring either.

At this point, if you feel that you can still not move on, make an appointment to see your doctor. You can discuss the best way forward to manage your anxiety and irrational thoughts.

[commissario1980]

http://hivinsite.ucsf.edu/insite?page=basics-00-20

What about this? 6 months 6 months 6 months

:)

[Apollo1971]

Over 30 years of facts, hence why its factual you dont have hiv.

[commissario1980]

what about the question about the window period estimation? how isti estimated? numbers seem to little to me to be definitive. Please answer

[Apollo1971]

Rare cases include, if your a long term IV drug user. On medication for an organ transplant or on agressive chemo and these are very rare indeed, more so with modern tests.

Dr hhh, will often say your conclusive at 8 weeks and less, and he is an expert, so 6 months, no way buds.

[commissario1980]

thanks at least you made me laugh.
here my doubts. in Italy (my country) and UK (where I live) there are about 6000 new diagnosis a year. half of them are late diagnosis. for the rest I think it very diffuclt to estimate the right date of exposure. In fact being hiv trasmitted on average 1 time every 1000 time of sex (doct hhh), I do think most of the cases result from multiple exposures with the same partners. How can authorities be so sure?

second doubt (email I got from CDC):
Thank you for your inquiry to CDC-INFO. In response to your request for information on HIV testing, we can provide you with the following information.

Most HIV tests measure the antibodies (infection-fighting cells) your body makes against HIV. Most people develop antibodies to HIV within 2 to 8 weeks after exposure. The average is 25 days. Ninety-seven (97) percent of people develop antibodies within the first 3 months after infection. But, in rare cases, it can take up to 6 months. So, if you have an HIV antibody test within 3 months of possible exposure and the result is negative, you should repeat the test at least 3 months after your last potential exposure.

what does rare case mean?

Thanks "mate".

Ciaooo

[Apollo1971]

i read aliens are taking over the world, i neither belive it or care for it, so i sudgest you stop reading out of date information and belive the simple facts of hiv testing.

[commissario1980]

thanks apollo. but reading about 6 months on internet keeps me thinking about it. I am going to loose everything

[Apollo1971]

3 months is conclusive - period. Any test at that time scale and after is 100% conclusive. Over testing can result in a false postive, so dont temp fate,belive in the facts.