Please Help! I think I'm seroconverting and feeling lonely, scared & suicidal..

[MayBPoz101]

Hello. I am a 25 year old male, healthy and in good shape.

8.5 weeks (59 days) ago I had unprotected receptive & insertive anal intercourse with a transexual lady who sleeps for cash (she does modeling,has a dayjob and is a student also)

She went raw inside me doggystyle so I could not see if it was protected or not in the beginning, and after a few seconds I realised it but went along with it due to the heat of the moment. After about 40 sec she pulled out and I penetrated and ejaculated inside her even though she tells explicitly in her "ad" she doesn't do these kinds of things (we hit it off, I guess)

After the sex, we chatted casually, and after asking her about her status, she replied that she's clean and promised to send me her latest bloodwork results first thing in the morning.Despite all that I could not sleep that night and thought about taking PEP. Did not do that. First big mistake.

In the morning I got the results which were negative. This made me confident but just in case I asked if she has had unprotected sex with anyone recently. She replied (paraphrase) "No, and stop it, this is getting annoying and hurtful. Don't worry!"

But still,something was wrong. The fact that there were no dates on the results (probably cut them not to disclose other info such as name & ID), the HIV negative paper was heavily folded & looked a bit worn out as if its a lot older that several weeks. So I waited some more, and decided it is for the best to take PEP just in case.
Took it approx. 46 hours after potential exposure. An urologist told me 'take PEP and after a month the test will be 99% conclusive'.

I have a girlfriend who I truly love and i figured she should not know. I mean, its like 99.something%  negative so why not let it go and just try not to hurt her? But I fell for the vagina trap & we did have sex, about 3 times in the first 2 weeks.. 3 times to many.

Then came Day 17 after exposure - swollen lymph node on the neck (which is still present but small), mild ear pain and a red and sore bump on the scalp. All on the same side.
I did a blood & urine test on Day 21 which came out negative except for Ureaplasma.

During the next 2 weeks I tried not to sleep with my girl but fell for it again twice. Week 5 after exposure was the turn for the worst when I started experiencing weird muscle pain all over. Did another bloodworm 38 days after exposure - negative.

Well by now you would dismiss my case and move along... Not so fast! I read in a PEP study that all the PEP failures subsequently the seroconvertions didn't show anything up until week 12. They got tested at week 4, 12 & 24. All except one were 12week POSITIVE...

So now I say to myself 'this **** sucks, I'll test at 8 weeks and whatever the result is, I can't hold this any longer. I'll tell my gf (she has an important exam on tge 21 of april and it would devastate her to much, I need to wait)

Day 44 - pimples and redness on my neck, upper chest and face (still present, some disappeared some new appeared)
Day 49-56 - fatigue. Every move is heavy, head is wobbly, can't concentrate.
Day 57- back pain while inhaling, now its just mild chest pain. No fever.

Some more symptoms - on and off sore throat & coughing, head aches on and off, groin& penis pain (Ureaplasma-> Urethritis), a 3 day jaw pain (TMJ?) With a lymph node swollen behind it, triceps redness...

Today, day 59, I took my REAL blood test probably. I have a sore throat, almost no chest pain, same neck lymph node from day 17 though a lot smaller, I feel anxious like hell. These past few months lasted like a lifetime. My gf has a weaker immune system than me and has been experiencing some small symptoms like chest&face pimples, head aches, coughs and small fatigue. If infected, I feel as though my world would crash til in unrecognition.

The trans woman was contacted by me 6 days ago and went on with the same spiel about her being healthy and me being offensive, she added that its psychological. When asked about her April test (she told me she does each month), she replied 'I didn't do it yet, after the holidays I'll do and you'll get it'.... Well she seemed believable all they way and she does have a lot to lose. But my symptoms... What can they be other than HIV acute retroviral symptoms??

I will update soon as I get the results but I really need some support right now.

Thank you and have a lovely day!

[Sara_MHModerator]

You've received several thorough and thoughtful answers.  We wish you the best and as stated, follow your testing plan.  

***  thread closed ***

[MayBPoz101]

Hey, I really tried to forget about my situation and planning on testing in 2.5 weeks again (which will be 12 weeks post exposure, 8 weeks post PEP)..

But I started getting muscle/back pain again, the neck lymph node from day 17 is still present and aches, sore throat.

SOME NEW SYMPTOMS:
1. In addition to acne like stuff on my neck, upper back and chest and face, I started getting a lot of small skin-colored bumps on my forehead. Can it be the stress taking it's toll?

2. Been feeling discomfort in the armpit area on both sides for 4-5 days now. It hurts there whenever I flex muscles, but I can't and won't self-diagnose.

I tested also NEGATIVE for HEPATITIS C and SYPHILIS at the 59-day mark. should I retest again for them or anything else rather than HIV in 2.5 weeks?  

Thank you and have a lovely weekend!

[AnxiousNoMore]

Your symptoms are experienced by millions of Americans who don't have HIV, so the only thing they prove is you are in terror of the unknown so you are over-analyzing your body looking for clues.
This is all a very natural reaction but it is also self defeating, so best to minimize thinking about the test result since you have NO clues what will be the result.

Your best plan is whenever you think of the symptoms, find something which diverts your mind to something else - not necessarily easy to do, but it is the only option you have so try to stick with that plan as much as possible.
There is no purpose in retesting for other diseases that have already been proven don't exist otherwise there would be no purpose in testing for them if the tests were useless guesses. You have to go to the std forum for info on syphilis.

[Dado90]

God Bless you man, and I hope you'll be good!! :)

[MayBPoz101]

Thank you, good sir!

[CurfewX]

ARS doesn't last that long at ALL.  You'd be done with it long ago.  Also, ARS is the body's reaction the HIV virus replicating rapidly.  If you had ARS, you would certainly have tested positive right now.

It sounds like you have a very good plan.  Just don't get obsessive and over-test, because the chances of getting a false positive exist, and are far, far greater than getting a false negative due to the sensitivity of the test.  A false positive would certainly hurt you psychologically.  It doesn't sound like you plan on over-testing, so just stick with your current plan.  Best wishes!

[MayBPoz101]

Hey I just have an update-

59 days post exposure (29 days post pep) came out Negative via 4th gen age/an combo.

1. Do you consider this as conclusive as Negative 30 days post exposure without PEP?

2. Does the test target just the p24 or other antigens as well?

3. Is there a chance that PEP killed off p24 early & the antibodies haven't formed a month after end of PEP - resulting in a false Negative?


Feeling happy, for now..
Thanks a bunch!

[MayBPoz101]

Its ag/ab *
:)

[CurfewX]

Hi again -

1.  No - as we discussed last time, you'll need to wait til 90 days after your last dose of PEP to get a conclusive result.  However, your negative is strongly encouraging.  90 days is probably very conservative, but keep in mind it is the recommendation after PEP.

2.  The test is looking ONLY for HIV antibodies and antigens.  That's it.

3.  It wouldn't be a "false negative," per se - just a negative that you would get as a result of testing too early.  PEP is designed to prevent HIV from replicating, which is how it infects the body.  If the virus can't replicate, the cells that the virus originally infected will eventually die due to normal cell life cycle.   It's very powerful, which is probably (me surmising here, not fact) why experts recommend testing out to 90 days just to be sure.

Again, the odds are in your favor, and are increasing every day.  The person you were with stated they are negative and showed some lab results, which is a lot of trouble to go to - she could have just said "stop contacting me.  That would have been a lot easier.  You took PEP, which is highly effective, and now your combo test is negative 30 days post-PEP.  

The odds of you having HIV at this point are incredibly slim, and you SHOULD be happy.  Just take your final test so that you can move on and forget about this.

[MayBPoz101]

Hey, thanks for the answers.
I just hope my symptoms would die with my worries.

What are the chances I have ARS for this long (from day 17) and still ag/ab is NEGATIVE days 21,38 & 59...? Have you heard about a case similar to mine in which the person became Pos. afterwards..?

About the test- So in 2 months its conclusive for me. Got it. I think I'll get tested twice, in a month and in 2 months time.

In a month won't be the final stamp, but I just want to be on top of things if they occur "earlier" so I won't endanger anybody else..

I just can't thank you enough!

God Bless

[CurfewX]

Hi there, and I'm sorry you're going through all of this anxiety.

First, keep in mind that most people are not HIV+.  While your encounter was risky, it's only risky if your partner had HIV.  Of course I don't have a crystal ball, but if this person is testing for HIV monthly, it sounds like she's a responsible person as far as keeping on top of her status.  It would seem odd for someone to say they test monthly if they don't.

Second, even if she was HIV+, that does not automatically mean you are infected.  The odds are still in your favor.  PEP is highly effective as well when taken within 72 hours, which you did.

Now, on to the symptoms - those do not sound like ARS symptoms.  Generally, symptoms would show all at once, not one lymph node here, and then a cough later, and they would go away, not continue for this long.  And it wouldn't be just one swollen lymph node, and some of what you and your girlfriend are experiencing aren't symptoms that one would get with ARS.  Also, if you were experiencing ARS symptoms, your test would be positive.

I'm a little bit confused by the timeline.  How long ago was your last dose of PEP?

[MayBPoz101]

Hey, thanks for the quick and thoughtful reply.

I have taken Truvada & Isentress for 4 weeks (but missed 3 pills of Isentress in total).
My last dose was 29 days ago, on day 30 after potential exposure.
8 days afterwards I tested negative.

The thing is, there is a reason they say to extend your testing period if you're on PEP.
I reckon PEP reduces the VL to undetectable & the antibodies don't have time to be produced if the VL is so miniscule. That's probably why the test if blind to PEP-failure in the first month or even longer.
The lymph node swelling up on day 17 kind of makes sense though,
cause it just stays in the T cells already, no other conditions (like high p24,VL or antibodies) needed, right?

[CurfewX]

Yeah, PEP extends the testing time for sure.  Your 8-day test was really not needed.  So, what I would do if I were you is take a 4th generation test as soon as you can.  This won't be fully conclusive, but it will give you a good idea of your status.  Then, wait til 90 days after your last dose of PEP, and take any test for a fully conclusive result.

If you were experiencing ARS, you would have had nodes, plural.  Your body starts to form antigens about 2 weeks after exposure, and again, a 4th generation test would have detected those antigens if you were experiencing ARS - they would have been detectable at that point.

[CurfewX]

Please note that I'm not saying you are definitely HIV-negative.  I'm saying those symptoms aren't likely ARS.  It sounds to me like you might have had a mild ear infection that caused the lymph node to swell, and that's also possibly what the bump on your scalp was as well.

[MayBPoz101]

Hey, the 21 & 38 day tests were ab/ag COMBO (4th gen).
Oh and I forgot - I did feel small nodes just around the huge one, but they disappeared after a week or so..

Tested today (day 59) COMBO - should be a lot more conclusive as PEP is one month behind me.

Thanks for the support.
It is like a candle in the dark :)

[CurfewX]

Oh, great!  Have you received your result from today's test?  If it's negative, that's a good sign, of course.

Please forget about your symptoms, to the best of your ability.  When we think that we might be ill, we start noticing every little thing that we would otherwise ignore or put down to common viruses or bacterial infections, like colds and ear infections.  

Another bit of advice that's more easily given than taken:  stop Googling your symptoms, or anything about HIV.  There's a lot of bad info out there, and if you Google long enough, you will ALWAYS find "evidence" that you have HIV.  The reality is that the odds are strongly in your favor, particularly given that you have taken PEP, which is highly effective.  Even people who have not had any risk for HIV find "evidence" that they have HIV and that their "symptoms" are those of HIV.  It's a very easy trap to fall into, so do what you can to stay off the internet and do something more productive with your time until you take your final test.

[MayBPoz101]

It was at my healthcare provider so it usually takes a few days.
A looong walk to freedom...

I'll update once the result comes in.

Yeah, I need to stop searching and worrying. This is going on for to long.

[CurfewX]

Please do come back and report your result so I can give you a virtual high-five when it's negative!