Aa
going crazy
Hi everyone,
I have been reading through these threads for the past few weeks trying to calm myself down, but not working all that well. My risk was 21 days ago now, had protected vaginal sex with prostitute. Since then mind has been playing games on me. I was drunk at the time and didn't inspect the condom when it was put on or taken off, so now I am thinking the worst ie broken, not on properly etc. I never knew HIV had symptoms until I found this site, but I have had alot of them. The first week I had night sweats and a few chills, also I developed a hideous cough which leaves me short of breath. Not sure if I have had fever but have been fairly hot and sweaty several times during the day. As for swollen glands I wouldn't know what to look for. I must admit when I did have my encounter I had already had the flu for a week and thought I was on the up,maybe it just developed into a cough which I can't shake. I am also married with two young kids and the guilt and anxiety have been eating me up since the morning after the incident. I couldn't hide it from my wife and had to tell her, but can't share my fear of having HIV with her.Can't stop thinking that the prostitute definately had HIV and something happened to the condom and that I am going to have it. Can't stand to wait 3 or 6 months for the tests, so I have booked myself in at 28 days for a DUO test and sex health screen. Do you guys think this test will be a good indicator of my status. I have read it is 99.8% accurate.
I have been reading through these threads for the past few weeks trying to calm myself down, but not working all that well. My risk was 21 days ago now, had protected vaginal sex with prostitute. Since then mind has been playing games on me. I was drunk at the time and didn't inspect the condom when it was put on or taken off, so now I am thinking the worst ie broken, not on properly etc. I never knew HIV had symptoms until I found this site, but I have had alot of them. The first week I had night sweats and a few chills, also I developed a hideous cough which leaves me short of breath. Not sure if I have had fever but have been fairly hot and sweaty several times during the day. As for swollen glands I wouldn't know what to look for. I must admit when I did have my encounter I had already had the flu for a week and thought I was on the up,maybe it just developed into a cough which I can't shake. I am also married with two young kids and the guilt and anxiety have been eating me up since the morning after the incident. I couldn't hide it from my wife and had to tell her, but can't share my fear of having HIV with her.Can't stop thinking that the prostitute definately had HIV and something happened to the condom and that I am going to have it. Can't stand to wait 3 or 6 months for the tests, so I have booked myself in at 28 days for a DUO test and sex health screen. Do you guys think this test will be a good indicator of my status. I have read it is 99.8% accurate.
Also, should mention that I have had a couple of bad headaches aswell.
Do you think stress and anxiety can cause some of these symptoms and maybe prevent me from getting over this illness.Sometimes I notice I haven't coughed for a while and wonder if it is because I haven't been thinking about having HIV for a while. Then I think about it again and find myself coughing again. Can stress cause coughing?If I didn't have all these symptoms, I wouldn't have the doubts over the integrity of the condom and the possibility of HIV. Just seems all to coincidental and I feel that I am doomed. I know a few of you are going to say I need to talk to a professional, I agree and would like to, but where I am situated at the moment it is not an option. This forum is my only sanctuary at the moment.Thanks in advance for your replies.
Do you think stress and anxiety can cause some of these symptoms and maybe prevent me from getting over this illness.Sometimes I notice I haven't coughed for a while and wonder if it is because I haven't been thinking about having HIV for a while. Then I think about it again and find myself coughing again. Can stress cause coughing?If I didn't have all these symptoms, I wouldn't have the doubts over the integrity of the condom and the possibility of HIV. Just seems all to coincidental and I feel that I am doomed. I know a few of you are going to say I need to talk to a professional, I agree and would like to, but where I am situated at the moment it is not an option. This forum is my only sanctuary at the moment.Thanks in advance for your replies.
Hi there,
I don't really know why you would call yourself howstupid because you didn't do anything stupid...except link your experience to HIV.
You had protected sex. You are HIV negative. There is no need to test.
Every symptom you mention is anxiety related.
Stop looking for symptoms as you will undoubtedly find them.
There really is no need to test. Protected sex is protected sex. Stop thinking about worst case scenarios; the worst case scenario right now is that you'd waste even one more minute thinking about this. Because this is not an HIV situation. It's as simple as that.
However, if your anxiety persists, have a DUO test at 28 days. It will undoubtedly be negative. Then let all this go.
You're HIV negative, and if you stick with the condoms, you will remain that way:)
I don't really know why you would call yourself howstupid because you didn't do anything stupid...except link your experience to HIV.
You had protected sex. You are HIV negative. There is no need to test.
Every symptom you mention is anxiety related.
Stop looking for symptoms as you will undoubtedly find them.
There really is no need to test. Protected sex is protected sex. Stop thinking about worst case scenarios; the worst case scenario right now is that you'd waste even one more minute thinking about this. Because this is not an HIV situation. It's as simple as that.
However, if your anxiety persists, have a DUO test at 28 days. It will undoubtedly be negative. Then let all this go.
You're HIV negative, and if you stick with the condoms, you will remain that way:)
If the condom had broken, you would have known it. Even in a drunken state, I think you would remember that. Your mind is playing tricks on you, that's all. Ever leave the house, wondering if you turned the oven off? You're ALMOST sure you did, yet as you think and think, you become convinced you didn't. Try as you might, pictures of your house burning down crosses your mind, until you have to go home and check. To find that yes, it was off the whole time.
The condom was more than likely intact, but now that guilt and anxiety have taken a firm root in your mind, you try and try to picture whether it was or not. The more you think about it, the more convinced you become that it was not intact (much like the oven theory) and you literally picture your house (marriage) burning down.
Have the test at 6 weeks, and then you can be sure it wasn't too early. Most of the posters here who test at 28 days are initially reassured, but quickly resurface with the same fears that they might have tested too soon and then become consumed again in worry and fear, guilt and anxiety. Save yourself some time and money and test at 6 weeks. Even then, if you become like the others, you'll still come back obsessed with fear. But I suggest 6 weeks on the off chance you will be able to accept that accurate result.
Remember that most CSW do NOT have HIV, and even if the sex was unprotected and she did have HIV, the risk is like 1 in 2000 that a single episode would result in your acquiring HIV. For most normal people, they should be quite reassured with that, but again, most people here are actually dealing with guilt and anxiety, not really HIV risk.
Good luck.
The condom was more than likely intact, but now that guilt and anxiety have taken a firm root in your mind, you try and try to picture whether it was or not. The more you think about it, the more convinced you become that it was not intact (much like the oven theory) and you literally picture your house (marriage) burning down.
Have the test at 6 weeks, and then you can be sure it wasn't too early. Most of the posters here who test at 28 days are initially reassured, but quickly resurface with the same fears that they might have tested too soon and then become consumed again in worry and fear, guilt and anxiety. Save yourself some time and money and test at 6 weeks. Even then, if you become like the others, you'll still come back obsessed with fear. But I suggest 6 weeks on the off chance you will be able to accept that accurate result.
Remember that most CSW do NOT have HIV, and even if the sex was unprotected and she did have HIV, the risk is like 1 in 2000 that a single episode would result in your acquiring HIV. For most normal people, they should be quite reassured with that, but again, most people here are actually dealing with guilt and anxiety, not really HIV risk.
Good luck.
I don't even respond to the broken condom bits - most people go their entire lives without ever experiencing a condom failure, but on here they're a dime a dozen!
I think what most people mean by condom failure is that it rolled up a bit during intercourse.
But that's just my two cents!:)
I think what most people mean by condom failure is that it rolled up a bit during intercourse.
But that's just my two cents!:)
I think the paranoia associated with the disease is worse than the disease itself. Look, if you aren't gay and having unprotected anal sex over and over again with anonymous partners, or if you aren't shooting heroin with other drug users, then you have virtually no risk of HIV in the U.S. from single heterosexual encounters.
I got a blowjob from a hot ass stripper last night and I enjoyed every second of it, not worrying at all, because I know I would probably be more likely to get struck by lightning, twice in the same day, than of catching HIV from that. Of course five years ago I would have worried myself sick, as most of the general public is misinformed.
Relax, you're fine, ENJOY having sex with hot women.
I got a blowjob from a hot ass stripper last night and I enjoyed every second of it, not worrying at all, because I know I would probably be more likely to get struck by lightning, twice in the same day, than of catching HIV from that. Of course five years ago I would have worried myself sick, as most of the general public is misinformed.
Relax, you're fine, ENJOY having sex with hot women.
Thanks Peek,
The analogy of the oven scenario was perfect,bloody mind playing tricks is not pleasant,but that has definately helped. I think I will stick with the 4 week DUO and 6 week again just to put it to bed. Thanks again.
The analogy of the oven scenario was perfect,bloody mind playing tricks is not pleasant,but that has definately helped. I think I will stick with the 4 week DUO and 6 week again just to put it to bed. Thanks again.
Dobber Man !
Thanks for the solid reply man, I know I am a bit soft and worry too much and it is unwarranted. BUT I just can't help myself, stupid I know.
Your comments however are much appreciated as are everyones on this forum. It's strange, but reassurance like the stuff you get here from complete strangers is comforting.
Thanks everyone.
Thanks for the solid reply man, I know I am a bit soft and worry too much and it is unwarranted. BUT I just can't help myself, stupid I know.
Your comments however are much appreciated as are everyones on this forum. It's strange, but reassurance like the stuff you get here from complete strangers is comforting.
Thanks everyone.
To add to the broken condom thing: If you don't remember the condom being broken. Why would you assume that it did? It is not a common thing to occour. It is in fact very uncommon. Also, the tend to break like a balloon, and rupture entirely. not like a leak or anyting like that. In other words, you'd know. Your name 'going crazy' shows just how much of this in anxiety related.
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