Aa
A word about testing (long post but it needs to be said)
Today, I conqured a fear of mine that I've had since a few weeks before I graduated high school (I'm about to go for my third year of university) went to the pharmacy, bought an Oraquick test, and took it. I nearly cried while swabbing my gums, and hyperventilated as I opened the vile of fluid. I was shaky while taking the test and accidentally touched my cheek, though I doubt it will affect the test too much.
If you're curious about my risks, here they are:
-Unprotected oral to a man who is suspected to be bi
-Unprotected oral to a man of unknown status concerning any risk factors
-Unprotected receptive vaginal sex with a high-risk (bi and a drug-user, not sure about IV use but I want to err on the side of caution) man of unknown status, NO ejaculation.
I was an idiot when I was 18. Compound that with no self-confidence and bad mental health, and you've got a recipe for disaster.
The twenty minutes have passed. There's a red line next to the T, but not the C. I'm negative! (PS: DO NOT use the term "clean" to describe people who don't have HIV/other STDs. Some people are just super-unlucky, some people are from countries where the blood supply is not screened, etc. Not everyone who is HIV+ is a super-reckless drug-injecting ****, as a matter of fact, most AREN'T; even if they were, that's none of your business because only God/the universe/whatever you believe in can judge.) I feel so relieved, I know life will go on even if I was positive, because I live in America and have intentions of moving to Canada where both countries have fairly sound medical infrastructures. It's sooooo much easier to be rational about things now.
I've been worried sick about this for a year. Trust me, the relief of knowing my status is FOR SURE negative is FAR better than the risk/anxiety of not knowing. I can be relieved, and if I was poz, I could keep my boyfriend and future family and friends safe.
I was a worried well, but now that I look back, I can attribute all of my symptoms to something: cough and sore throat? I was bulimic for ten years. Fever? I worked in food service, and then left for university and lived in a crowded dorm, where I'm around sick people all the time. Vaginal thrush? What active lady doesn't get that from time to time? Rash on chest and face? I'm allergic to several things, have keratin pilaris, and get heat rashes when working out (or being hot in general, which is unavoidable in the state that everything is better in). Plus, having IBS, I have severe indigestion and diarrhea ANYTIME I get stressed, which is all the fricking time because I'm in a very stressful and time-consuming program at my uni.
So, go and GET TESTED!!!!!!!! By not testing, you are doing three things:
-Damaging your health by stressing out. I get the stress *****, 0/10 do not recommend.
-Damaging your immune system by not getting treatment for HIV if you need it
-Potentially putting others in danger (while living with HIV is no longer the death sentence it was in the 80s/early 90s, I doubt that there's any level-headed poz individual that would wish it on someone else. Stigma is a heavy burden to bear and antiretrovirals can be tons of no-fun.)
From one stupid incident, the odds are overwhelmingly in your favor. And if you happen to be that one-in-a-thousand, you're not alone. It's gonna be okay, either way. We're getting closer every day to finding a cure. :)
But in all seriousness, would touching/dragging along my cheek affect the reading at all?
If you're curious about my risks, here they are:
-Unprotected oral to a man who is suspected to be bi
-Unprotected oral to a man of unknown status concerning any risk factors
-Unprotected receptive vaginal sex with a high-risk (bi and a drug-user, not sure about IV use but I want to err on the side of caution) man of unknown status, NO ejaculation.
I was an idiot when I was 18. Compound that with no self-confidence and bad mental health, and you've got a recipe for disaster.
The twenty minutes have passed. There's a red line next to the T, but not the C. I'm negative! (PS: DO NOT use the term "clean" to describe people who don't have HIV/other STDs. Some people are just super-unlucky, some people are from countries where the blood supply is not screened, etc. Not everyone who is HIV+ is a super-reckless drug-injecting ****, as a matter of fact, most AREN'T; even if they were, that's none of your business because only God/the universe/whatever you believe in can judge.) I feel so relieved, I know life will go on even if I was positive, because I live in America and have intentions of moving to Canada where both countries have fairly sound medical infrastructures. It's sooooo much easier to be rational about things now.
I've been worried sick about this for a year. Trust me, the relief of knowing my status is FOR SURE negative is FAR better than the risk/anxiety of not knowing. I can be relieved, and if I was poz, I could keep my boyfriend and future family and friends safe.
I was a worried well, but now that I look back, I can attribute all of my symptoms to something: cough and sore throat? I was bulimic for ten years. Fever? I worked in food service, and then left for university and lived in a crowded dorm, where I'm around sick people all the time. Vaginal thrush? What active lady doesn't get that from time to time? Rash on chest and face? I'm allergic to several things, have keratin pilaris, and get heat rashes when working out (or being hot in general, which is unavoidable in the state that everything is better in). Plus, having IBS, I have severe indigestion and diarrhea ANYTIME I get stressed, which is all the fricking time because I'm in a very stressful and time-consuming program at my uni.
So, go and GET TESTED!!!!!!!! By not testing, you are doing three things:
-Damaging your health by stressing out. I get the stress *****, 0/10 do not recommend.
-Damaging your immune system by not getting treatment for HIV if you need it
-Potentially putting others in danger (while living with HIV is no longer the death sentence it was in the 80s/early 90s, I doubt that there's any level-headed poz individual that would wish it on someone else. Stigma is a heavy burden to bear and antiretrovirals can be tons of no-fun.)
From one stupid incident, the odds are overwhelmingly in your favor. And if you happen to be that one-in-a-thousand, you're not alone. It's gonna be okay, either way. We're getting closer every day to finding a cure. :)
But in all seriousness, would touching/dragging along my cheek affect the reading at all?
****I meant a line next to the C, NO line next to the T. It was a typo. I promise! I was super excited when I wrote this and got a little carried away. Lol.
A negative is a line next to the c and no line next to t is that what you meant?
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