I'm getting test this Monday and i'm having horrible anxiety attacks. I can't sleep... i'm crying all of the time and i'm contemplating suicide if I receive a positive result. I've never felt anything this horrible before. I have an intuitive feeling that I am HIV + and the suicidal thoughts are so bad that I'm imagining where and how to do it and what my family's reaction would be. I'm talking to my boyfriend and he's saying he would support me but I can't help but think of this impending test as my death sentence.. any advice for how to take the stress off of the wait to be tested / how to handle a positive result?