please read and listen

[dyingguy]

Hello, I need someone to talk to, anyone to talk to, everyone has turned on me, I have zero people in my life,,

from November last year to febuary this year I received unprotected oral sex from 6 different stangers, one who I know is hiv positive,
I have been sick ever since febuary, oral thrush never feeling well, just feeling real glitchy,  I pretty much narrowed down my illness to hiv,  I tried to tell my family I think I should get tested for hiv and they pretty much blocked me outta there life, I lost my job in june, im literally on the edge right now of my life, I hate my self,

I have been married for 10 years, so I have had unprotected sex with my wife, no one else in my lfie time, I went out side of our marriage and received these blow jobs like an idiot, I will never forgive my self

feb 9 received unprotected oral sex from 3 differnet people in one night, all under 30 seconds a piece, the one whom is hiv positive,
burning penis 2 days later for 2 weeks, went to get checked for stds came back neg for gonno and clymindaya,
got real sick day 36-50 after exposure and have been sick since
I feel like my whole body has shut down,
current symptoms is oral thrush,
weak, no energy,
always tired


please someone talk to me

[chipdawg]

i'm going through something similar. it must be one of the loneliest things to have to endure. i've almost gone numb now, just the horror that i may have infected my wife jolts me out of my mental fog. i plan to test next week, although i've delayed and delayed, so maybe i won't. i also have developed a white tongue, other symptoms are chronic rhinitis and recently an outbreak of moles (or kaposi sarcoma) on my body. my risk was unprotected oral and 'protected' vaginal. but i think the protected vaginal is what might have gotten me. no chance from unprotected oral - you are ok...i am sure of that.

[jelly426]

I hate the name by the way I had a one night stand and felt horrible and I don't know if it's my mind playing games on me I understand how you feel as though you want to take back everything you did and you want the thought to leave your mind I took 3 HIV test and all negative I still convinced myself I was HIV positive so don't feel alone keep in contact with progress I'm here fighting with you ✌

[HowardH]

"I need someone to talk to, anyone to talk to, everyone has turned on me, I have zero people in my life"  This is an existential cry for psychological help, which an online forum cannot provide. See a professional counseor ASAP.

Oral sex isn't a risk for HIV, so if these are your only exposures -- including one or more from known HIV infected partners-- you can be sure you don't have it and your symptoms are caused by something else. For reassurance, you should have an HIV test. Don't delay. You can count on a negartive result.

Regardless of HIV and your test result, do get professional mental health care. You won't regret it. Good luck with it all.